


Forever and then some

by justlittleoldunkillableme (AmbecaWatson)



Series: An unusual Self-Portrait [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Caring Gabriel, Crossdressing, Daddy Kink, Dominant Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Reunions, Feminization, Hand Jobs, Lap Sex, Lapdance, Light Bondage, M/M, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Bela Talbot, Minor Crowley/Bobby Singer, Minor Sarah Blake/Sam Winchester, Rimming, Rough Sex, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Night, Wedding Planning, strip twister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 23:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 56,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4367990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbecaWatson/pseuds/justlittleoldunkillableme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wedding bells will ring, if Dean and Cas survive an influx of relatives, Christmas, wedding plans, old relationships, a sexual dry spell and all the entanglements that come with building a family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So an absolutely major writer's block hit me and I didn't put anything down for too long. But now it's all flowing again and what better way to celebrate then by hosting a wedding? 
> 
> I made a few decisions about this verse. Don't panic, because I hope they're good ones. I've decided to off-screen any further bottom!Dean time, because some of my readers don't like to read it and personally, I don't like writing it. That is not to say that I won't do it if you holler at me and tell me that you want some of that. :)
> 
> I'll probably do an extra series for timestamps too, putting Dean on the receiving end in there and maybe some drabbles about other characters or pairings of the verse, because the main thing is very Dean/Cas centric and it will stay that way. But for instance: My fingers are itching to write out the interaction between Crowley and Bobby during the fic before this one. I love them together that much. 
> 
> And you ask about future plans for the verse after this one? Yes, good. Because the next one after the wedding is already in the works. This baby won't ever stop. There is a German poem about how movies always end after the Happy End and that the magic stops when reality hits afterwards. This won't happen here though, there'll be no end, but they will continue to be happy. 
> 
> Es wird nach einem happy end  
> im Film jewöhnlich abjeblendt.
> 
> -Kurt Tucholsky, Danach 
> 
> A poem written in the Berlin dialect of German. Or: My shout out against rom com fics/movies ending after a wedding.
> 
> Now also with visualisation: [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4476209/chapters/10174673) (NSFW pictures)

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Dude, you’re worried that they won’t like you? Who’s the groom here, huh? I’m gonna have to deal with 6 siblings tonight. I mean, I've met them, but not all at once.”

“Yeah, sure. Sorry, Dean. I’m just nervous.”

“Well, you shouldn’t be,” Sarah said and took Sam’s hand as they walked on to the restaurant where they would meet Cas’ brothers and sisters. “They’ll love you.”

“Yeah, I bet they will,” Dean encouraged his little brother.

He himself was nervous enough about all of this, and he was also nervous to have all of Cas’ family together again, but he figured Cas himself must be even more anxious about it all. Dean knew that Cas wasn’t close to any of them anymore, not after everything that had happened, and so he walked quicker now, wanting to be there for Cas faster.

They reached the restaurant, and immediately found the table at which 7 people already waited for them. Cas had saved a seat next to his and Dean saw his whole face breaking out into a wide grin when he saw him coming in.

He mouthed a ’be right back’ at the assembled people and walked over, never leaving Dean’s eyes until he came up right into his personal space and whispered: “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey,” Dean whispered back and drew him in, his hand at the back of his neck. But just before their mouths met, there was a loud clearing of a throat somewhere to the right and they lost track for a second.

“How’s it going so far?” Dean still whispered, switching gear when he knew the moment was ruined.

“Well, they’re all themselves,” Cas smiled strainedly, and when Dean caught Gabe snipping bits of napkin at Michael and Lucian, he kinda got what he had meant.

“Let’s get over there, ok?” he nodded at Cas, still all up close, and then at Sam and Sarah who watched the goings on with confused smiles.

“Hello everyone,” Dean said. “This is my brother Sam and his girlfriend Sarah,” he pointed at them, his hand still around Cas’ waist next to him. “And this is Michael, Cas’ eldest brother. He’s overseer of finances in a firm in... Phoenix, was it?”

Michael nodded, stoically pulling a bit of napkin out of his hair.

“And is Lucian, he’s a professor for demonology and the occult in Chicago. So if you’re planning to do a PhD in it, Lucian’s the man to go to,” Dean smiled at Sam, shocked to see that his brother was actually fascinated by the unusual study subject and ogled the empty seats next to Lucian with great interest.

Dean just went on with his introductions: “And the person annoying everyone is Gabriel. He owns a couple of sweetshops all over and can just knock it off right now, right Gabe?”

“Awww, Deano. Always the spoilsport.”

“You know me," Dean grinned and turned to the girls.

“Hannah and Hester, twins and both drill instructors for soldiers at a training camp upstate.” 

The unlikely twins, one blonde, one brunette, nodded with a surprisingly similar gentle smile. 

“And the youngest but Cas, over here. Anna is a theology major at Princeton. And if we‘re all done with this now, I need a beer and a burger.” 

Everyone laughed about Dean as they finally sat down. Sam, Sarah and Lucian immediately picking up a conversation with Sarah starting to tell the occult professor about some of the exhibits she had seen and sold. She told them how some of them had been used in practices or how sometimes she had the feeling that curses could lay on certain objects when she checked on their history. By the time that their food came, she had started to tell Lucian about Napoleon’s death chair in which he sat before he was critically defeated and how some of the later owners had had streaks of very bad luck leading up to deadly accidents after they even sat in it once.

Dean looked at everyone at the table, they all seemed to enjoy themselves from what he could see and then he looked at Cas next to him, smiling and giving a gentle nod.

“That seems to be working out,” he remarked.

“Yes,” Cas agreed, relief evident on his face, not only that his siblings were all behaving now (even Gabriel), but also that they were all here.

The conversations went on for a while, until Anna asked how their plans had grown so far. 

“A friend is planing the main things. We only get called in when she needs a yes/no from us. But so far, the only definite thing we have is the cake,” Cas told the assembly. 

“But Bela will chase us all over town during winter break. It’s not as if we don’t have a big family Christmas coming up or nothin’," Dean sighed, when he thought about their agenda for the next few days, but then he smiled again. "It's all good stress though. I’m taking Christmas vacation too, for the first time in ever." He took Cas' hand on the table. "We’ll get there.”

“So, the brownstone will be pretty packed for the next week, won’t it?” Hester observed, because all of Cas’ siblings had been invited to stay in their house, even if Cas had grumbled a bit. He was really glad that they were all back, but he had complained to Dean just this morning.

 

“And honestly, all of them in the house? It was already cramped when only your brother was here, but now we’re down one brother, but up three and the same amount of sisters? That’s gonna be a nightmare.”

“It won’t be so bad,” Dean had said and poured milk for the furry little critter that was their newest household addition. Ben meowed quietly and purred all while he slobbered it up and Dean went back to the table to eat his human breakfast.

“Oh it will be,” Cas pouted, because all their playthings had once more been moved into the basement and they had actually had to buy even more beds to put up in the second storey and attic that they didn’t use. “I guarantee we won’t have any time for sex while they’re all here.”

“Aww,” Dean had imitated Cas’ pout now. “My poor baby not getting laid enough?”

“I am getting laid enough. Thoroughly, roughly and loudly. But I won’t be by tonight.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Dean had grinned as they finished eating and left the house for the last shift of work and the last courses of the old year. 

 

Back at the restaurant, Dean let his hands glide down Cas’ arm now and rest on his thigh. When he was sure no one was looking, he moved his hands up and gave Cas’ dick a good squeeze, promising that he didn’t need to worry about not getting some tonight. But just then, a familiar voice called out behind him.

“Hello, my darlings.”

“Mom!” Cas said, giving Dean’s hand an equally promising squeeze as he removed it from his balls and ran over to embrace his mother. “What are you doing here?”

“I got released today,” she smiled, first at Cas, then at her daughters and then at her step-sons. “I thought it would be a nice idea to surprise you when you’re all here.” Naomi seemed a little bashful at speaking to everyone, but after they got over the initial shock, her daughters came over to embrace her. All of them dissolved into tears when Cas’ older brothers came over too, and Gabriel actually said something nice for once.

“It is really the end of an era now, isn’t it? An era that was filled with pain and estrangement. But let’s put that all behind us now,” he smiled at everyone. “Here’s to the new us. New year, new life and two families becoming one.”

“Damn it, Gabriel,” Cas shed a tear which Dean caught as he stroked a finger over his cheek. 

“Watch your mouth, Cassie,” his brother grinned at him. “I see Dean’s corrupting you. As your best man, I have to put my foot down now. You’re not gonna teach my little brother more curses, you hear me?”

Dean only laughed, while Cas frowned at Gabe. “Who said you’re my best man?”

“I did.”

“And what if I already have a bride’s maid, a maid of honour and a best woman?” 

“Really? And what about your favourite brother? Don’t I get a role in your wedding?” Gabe mock cried into a tissue now.

“We’ll find something for you. We’ll find something for all of you,” he nodded at the rest of his family.

 

When they got their coats, Sam suggested that he and Sarah could take in someone into their apartment and Hester and Hannah immediately took the offer. They were used to sharing tight quarters in the barracks and didn't mind sharing a bed. They had slept in far worse conditions already. 

They waved goodbye when they walked into the other direction and Cas grumbled next to Dean as his trench coat flapped in the wind: “Nice excuse for Sam and Sarah to sleep in the same bed tonight. I bet they’ll-”

“Babe, stop right there. There are things I do not need to know about my brother.”

When they reached the Impala, they were faced with another problem. Seven people in Dean’s car?

But Naomi and Anna solved the issue by saying that they were gonna take the train and have some bonding time for themselves. Despite Cas, Anna was the one who had to endure Zachariah the longest and they still needed time to heal the breach in their relationship because of it. 

 

“So, Michael is in our bedroom, Lucian’s in the den. Then Gabe in the second storey and mom and Anna in the attic?” Cas counted them as they drove towards their home.

“Yeah, packed full up until the roof,” Dean grinned.

“But where are you going to sleep?” Michael asked from the backseat.

“We have another bedroom in the basement.”

“That’s a funny place to put a bedroom,” Lucian said, a gentle frown on his face as Gabriel looked back and forth between his older brothers. 

“Guys, let’s not get into this,” he grinned and winked at Dean in the rear view mirror. “I’m sure they have their reasons to have done that.”

Dean thought that at least Gabriel knew what sort of things he and Cas did, but he thought that some awkwardness would surely come their way if the rest of Cas’ family ever stumbled into the basement and from the quick peek at his fiancé, he saw that Cas was feeling the same way. 

 

The night was long, Naomi’s recovery had to be celebrated and also the family reunion, so Dean was slightly hazy when they finally stumbled into the basement, drop dead tired and buzzed on too much champagne.

“See,” Cas yawned as he just dumped himself into the mattress when he saw Dean stumble as he pulled on his suit jacket. “I told you we’re not doing anything tonight.” He hit the pillow with his head several times. “We’re. Never. Ever. Having. Sex. Again,” he continued to hit the pillow as if their sexless night was it’s fault and Dean noticed a slight hiccup in Cas’ voice towards the end.

“Babe, are you crying?”

“No,” Cas droned, definitely pissed from somewhere deeply inside the pillow.

“You are though,” Dean said while he fumbled at his clothes, not really getting the hang of buttons right now. 

“Yes,” Cas admitted petulantly and sat up, his eyes watering even more when Dean finally hanged his clothes and lots of toned flesh was visible above the waistband of his briefs. “And even now, I’m too tired to give more than a twitch at you,” he sniffled again as Dean helped him out of his clothes too. 

He cupped Cas through his own briefs now, gently stroking again.

“Are you getting interested now?” he rumbled, his eyes piercing and longing, even though his head swam.

Cas caught his eye and a fresh tear rolled out of his eye lid as he shook his head. He pulled Dean down with him however, squashing his cheek on his shoulder as he came to rest on top of him. “I swear it, Dean. We’ve got the 'no sex' curse.”

“Then perhaps Lucian can help us get rid of that curse,” Dean chuckled and put them side by side now. “He’s the expert on that sort of thing.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Cas agreed, his eyes already closing, but then he ripped them open again, getting up without another word and tapped up the stairs.

Dean wondered for a couple of minutes what he was doing, but then he came back with a purring bundle of fur and now he felt guilt about totally forgetting the thing for a while.

Cas just continued to talk to the kitten.

“-and if your daddies aren’t gonna do grown up things now, you can come and sleep in their bed too. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

“Hey, why does he get the cute nicknames and with me it’s always ‘Dean’?” he imitated Cas' low rumble.

“Well, I call you Daddy and darling too,” Cas sassed him as he got back under the covers and Ben purred his way underneath them as well. 

“That doesn’t count. That’s for scenes.”

“Do you really want a pet name?” Cas asked him, his warm hands sneaking around Dean’s middle again.

“Maybe. If you find a good one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, it's bachelor party in American English, isn't it? Not stag do or bucks night? Just for later chapters ;)


	2. Chapter 2

“So, this morning we’re going to taste the cakes again before we finalise our order. Then we’re going to a florist, although I’m not sure how we’re gonna do there, yet. Cas has to decide if he really wants some, because of his dislike of cut flowers. But I can tell you that I found someone who’d do origami. And you’re both guys anyway, so I wouldn’t go overboard on flowers at all. Then I found someone who’d do invitations, maybe even for free because he wants to establish his business and it would be prestigious for him if you were on his client list. Then I thought we’d go to the first shops for suits and shoes. Because don’t let people tell you anything, you’ll need to wear them in and not go in entirely new shoes, and then-”

“Woah, slow your roll there, Bela. Breathe evenly.”

“Sorry,” Bela took a few deep breaths as her heels clicked next to them.

“It’s fine, you’re just excited. I know I am,” Charlie hopped next to her. “Do you think we’ll have the time to go shopping for bridesmaides dresses today? Or, dresses for you and Sarah. I, as best woman, might wear a suit too.”

“Rats, I knew I forgot something,” Bela said confusedly and got her organiser out of her purse. “No, I didn’t put it down. How could that happen?”

“It’s fine,” Cas calmed her. “We’ll just find a shop that sells dresses as well. Or suits,” he grinned at Charlie.

“That solves that,” Bela remarked with relief as Dean held the door of the bakery that Cas and him had found, open.

“Dude, it’s like geek heaven in here,” Charlie beamed as she checked out the display. “Holy shit, Lord of the Rings cake!” she ran over and admired a cake that had at least 5 layers and looked like…

“Galadriel’s treehouse?” Dean walked over, trying to look cool, but he knew his face must look almost equally excited as Charlie’s. 

“This is perfect,” Charlie looked at the rest of the cakes on display while Bela talked to the owner, who then ushered them all through into another room to taste several bits of cake.

“So, we have those two,” she pointed at the Batman and Captain America’s shield cake that Dean wanted. “And something floral for Cas, right?”

“I don’t know,” Cas said a little shyly. “I guess flowers aren’t as cool as superhero cakes.”

Dean just shook his head at Cas’ shyness. “You should get what you want, Cas. If you want one that’s covered in sugary flowers, then go for it. Besides, the ones I want are just one layer. I bet we‘re gonna need more. So you choose, let‘s say three layers?” he looked at Bela, who nodded when she looked at her preliminary guest list. “And we’ll have every sugary thing on it that you like. But of course, nothing will be as cool as my batman cake,” he grinned and held out a forkful of chocolate cake for Cas to taste.

He opened his mouth and let Dean feed him.

“Hmm, yes. I like it,” he smacked his lips as they went on.

“Lemon-buttermilk?” Cas tried it and held out his fork with a fresh piece to Dean afterwards. They tasted for a while until they both shook their head and said: “Too sour.”

That way it went on. All four of them tasted several cakes, until Cas had chosen two layers of simple vanilla cream and raspberry for the middle layer.

Afterwards, they checked back with the shop’s schedule, which turned out to be busy until end February.

“That’s actually good,” Bela told them all. “We still have much to organise and even like this the schedule is still tight. But it gives us more time. You two should really set a fixed date. It would make my job a whole lot easier.”

“When would you have an opening to do all of those?” Dean asked the shop owner. 

“I would say the first week of March looks good.”

“How about the third?” Cas asked Dean.

“Why the third?”

“Because that’s the day I asked you to move in with me.”

“Oh, of course,” Dean said, a little guiltily. “Sounds perfect to me. Does that give you enough time?” he looked at the shop owner and Bela, who both nodded. In Bela’s case, she seemed crazy relieved as well and looked like she was finally able to breathe normally again.

“That’s good,” she talked to herself as they left the shop and went on to the next. “That’s enough time.”

Dean looked at Cas, who understood him without a word and moved over to Charlie while Dean took Bela’s arm.

“Talk to me.”

“It’s just, you haven’t given me much to go on,” she said at Cas' and Charlie' backs walking in front of them. “Do you want business partners or rivals on the guest list? Socialites, too? Or just family?”

“Damn,” Dean muttered. He really had been neglectful about all this, too happy with the prospect of marrying the love of his life, so that he hadn’t even thought about what he’d have to do in such a situation.

“I suppose we have to invite them,” he said, “but I don’t want this day to become all about business or anything. I wish we could just keep it between friends and family.”

“I might have an idea about that. How about we do a reception for everyone? Maybe just two hours, where we serve champagne and hors’ d’oeuvres. And afterwards a venue for friends with real food and music?”

“Yes, that sounds good,” Cas told them from the front, relieving Dean of voting. He didn’t want to condemn Cas to speaking to boring business partners on their wedding day, handing them a without any doubt, generous check in an envelope for a wedding present, before they sweet-talked to Dean about business proposals.

“Really, baby?” he asked him and Cas’ eyes found his over his shoulder. 

“Of course,” he smiled. “I want to do this for you and afterwards we celebrate with the inner circle.”

“That would probably mean we’d have to organise three different locations if the rest shouldn’t know that the real party will only happen after official business. Or we could book an extra room which is a little smaller, so that it’s so crowded that most of the people want to leave early anyway.”

“That sounds good. Reverse psychology,” Charlie nodded, encouraging Bela’s thought.

“Yeah, that could work,” Dean nodded as well, once they had reached the flower shop that Bela had wanted to go to.

They moved around inside for a while, the smell of all kinds of exotic flowers overwhelming, but Cas was worrying all of them because the longer they were in there, the sadder he looked.

“Babe?” Dean asked while he held a cut dahlia anemone in a gentle hold.

“I can’t,” he said, looking around. “Pretty corpses, nothing more.”

“I figured that might happen,” Bela laid hand gently on Cas’ shoulder. “We’ll find other decoration, ok? Or would you like a water basin with water plants on the tables?” She added in a quick thought while she looked at the flower in Cas’ hand. “Water lilies, those anemones, and all growing out of an earth bed?”

“Yes, that sounds good. And people can take them home and watch them grow afterwards,” Cas smiled. “But some other decoration sounds nice too.”

 

When they were at the origami artist that Bela had found, Cas was already completely happy again as they watched paper flowers come to life.

“If I have to live with scraps of tissue paper under my shoes from now on because he's into origami now, I blame you,” Dean whispered loudly to Bela so that Cas would hear it.

Cas only grinned and Dean was glad that he looked happy again, not completely downcast like in the flower shop. 

 

After that, Bela walked in front of them, mumbling to herself about how much they had already done today and that there wasn’t that much on the agenda for today, until she turned around and saw that everyone shuffled after her, tired and hungry.

“Really? Ok. That’s lunch, then.”

She let them to a restaurant now and came back from the counter with a burrito for everyone and large styrofoam cups of coffee. 

“Eat and drink people. We still got things to do.”

“Slave driver,” Dean muttered as he felt Cas slump against him while they ate.

 

After lunch, they went on to choose invitations. Bela made quick work of that, because she had pre-selected some kinds of paper and fonts for the official invitations and 'Save the date' cards. 

Dean and Cas pointed at a cream coloured one at the same time, which had a stamped row of flowers around it, and in equal unison chose a font which didn’t seem too frilly.

“Great, so you can put us down for 200 of each,” Bela said absentmindedly, already checking her organiser again. “And we should get the ’Save the date’ cards on the way soon. But we still have some time to get the text for the real invitation together. The guest list is important though, we should really decide on that soon, maybe tomorrow?.”

They only nodded tiredly, while Bela already ushered them on again.

“Last point on the agenda for today, ok?” she said before she dialled and talked to several people while they walked to a shop that sold wedding clothes.

“Does she always have this much energy?” Dean asked Charlie who shuffled on, holding Dean’s left arm while Cas hung heavily on his right.

“You have no idea,” she yawned. “When she’s got a purpose and a goal in mind, she’s a force of nature. I love it,” she smiled tiredly. “Besides, we’re got a lot of stuff done in a day, haven’t we?”

Cas hummed in approval, before he said: “I would appreciate it if I could still feel my feet though. I think we walked over 10 miles today.”

“Probably more,” Dean said as Bela held open the last shop door of the day.

“You are all babies. Chop chop, in.” 

They were greeted by almost obnoxious warmth compared to the cold outside and an even more obnoxious amount of white net lace.

“I feel like we’re inside a meringue now,” Cas chuckled as they moved backwards to the suits and came face to face with someone familiar.

“Layla?” Dean said and if his voice wavered, he hoped that nobody noticed.

“Yes,” she got up from where she had waited for them, still frail and weak from her chemo therapy, but obviously back on her feet.

Dean was scared to hug her because she was so thin that she looked like she’d break if he so much as laid a finger on her. But a short, heartfelt hug from everyone didn’t hurt her as he had feared.

“Bela let me know where you were gonna be,” she said as Charlie helped her back onto her seat.

“Which was why I pushed to get here today,” Bela said ruefully.

“It was worth it,” Dean smiled now, ready to forgive her for his own tiredness and Cas’ heavy feet, as a shop assistant came toward them.

“Hello and welcome. I assume that you two are the grooms?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, but only 5 minutes later, he wished he’d answered in the negative because he and Cas stood in front of what had to be a thousand completely similar looking black suits. They were told that this one had a certain shine to it, whereas this one was tailored so that it flowed just right.

“They all look the same to me,” Dean admitted, too tired for pleasantries. “If we chose the same colour, we’ll probably look like assclowns in monkey suits.”

The shop assistant looked shocked, so Cas jumped in to rescue the situation.

“How about you find a black one for Dean here, plus a white shirt and a green tie. And for me a tan one, with shirt and blue tie?”

Dean looked at Cas, just one word in his mind: “Perfect.”

The rest of their fitting went by easy and soon they had both found their outfits. Afterwards, they wandered around the shop while Charlie and Bela chose their dresses and Bela constantly sent Sarah pictures of her selections and asked her if they even wanted to go with the matching dress look at all.

Cas let them choose for themselves, he may call his three best female friends his bridesmaides and best woman, but he just wanted them to have a special role on the day. It wasn’t as if it was all that important to him, they would be there for him, no matter what they wore. He was more interested in the ‘meringue’ part of the shop right now.

He walked over with Dean, finding a very sleek dress, simply cut and full length. Dean looked at him and Cas flashed him another smile as he asked the shop assistant if he could try on. She seemed a little confused, but said that it was ok, getting even more confused when Cas dragged Dean off into another changing room. 

Cas stripped down immediately and Dean looked at him, naked to his boxers and felt like his dick exploded as he helped to get the satiny fabric over Cas’ head.

“Fuck baby,” he muttered when Cas now wore the wedding dress, his cock visibly bulging out the area over his groin and his hard nipples showing clearly through the fabric. “Make sure you don’t leave precome anywhere, I think that might be a little awkward when a future bride wants to try this on.”

Cas didn't react save for claiming his mouth heatedly now, ushering him back into the wall of the changing room.

“Guess you’ll have to lift my skirt then.”

“You’re very bad. And so naughty,” Dean rasped, but pulled the fabric up, until he could finger and jerk Cas comfortably.

“Yes, just for you,” Cas answered in a quiet rasp and then he stopped talking, only quietly moaned as Dean brought him closer to coming with his hands.

They flinched when they heard a loud voice outside of the changing room. “Do you need any help in there?”

“No, thank you,” Cas said angrily, and by the way his brow was creased, Dean knew how frustrated he was as he removed Dean’s hands from his body and tugged himself back in. “I think I’ve got it,” he said acidly as he smoothed the wrinkles out of the dress and then moved a couple of rounds in it before he made Dean open the zipper at the back and stepped out of it.

He hissed unhappily when he put his pants back on and the rough fabric felt completely different on his cock than the airy dress.

“Don’t worry, baby. We’ll get to it,” Dean said as he put the dress back on the hanger and Cas came out after him. 

“Yeah,” Cas said, not convinced, as they rejoined the others. Bela had chosen an indigo blue dress and they saw a slightly lighter one which had to be Sarah’s, next to hers. Charlie just came out of the changing room in this part of the shop in an even darker blue dress. By the look on her face, they all knew she wouldn’t be wearing a suit.

“So, we’re all set now?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” Bela nodded, making an obvious tick in her organiser. 

“Great. I can’t wait to get home,” Dean muttered, ready to put his feet up and have Cas bounce on him for some hours before an early sleep. But with a groan, he remembered that they couldn’t, because there was family that needed entertaining at home.

He looked at Cas, who seemed to think about the exact same thing.

 

“We could just go to bed early? I think everyone would understand,” Dean said to him as they sat side by side on the underground. Charlie and Bela were taking Layla home because she lived in the same general direction.

“Oh, how I would love to,” Cas said, drawing little circles on the back of Dean’s hand. “But we can’t leave them alone all day, expect them to feed Ben, and then just go to enjoy ourselves.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Dean sighed.

 

Once they reached home, they both felt like selfish bastards when Cas’ brothers were all in the kitchen with Naomi and Anna, preparing a big family dinner for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here for a visual of the cakes they looked at this chapter: 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  


	3. Chapter 3

“So, tell us what you did today,” Naomi said to them from the head of table, while everyone spooned the pumpkin cardamom soup that she was working on perfecting at the moment, into their mouths. While she had been in recovery, she had made plans to work on new recipes and write another cookbook. Now that she was all happy and healthy again, she felt confident about her cooking once more and everyone agreed that her soup creation was absolutely incredible.

“We’ve got a lot of things done today. Invitations, clothes, cake-”

“You’re not letting me do the cake?” Gabriel spoke up suddenly.

“No Gabriel, we do not. You’d probably put gummy bears in the filling or something,” Cas huffed. “But I’ve just been thinking, we should let mom do the catering. If you want to?”

“That would be a great idea,” Michael said now, gently patting Naomi’s shoulder. “This cookbook you told us about is a good idea, but it will not keep you occupied for long, mother.”

Naomi sniffled at being called mother by her eldest stepson and looked like she was thinking about what he could mean, when Lucian spoke up too.

“Exactly. We were thinking you might want to find some other occupation. Like start a catering business. And a high-class one at that. You could bring all your old menus back and still have leisure time for new creations.”

“Yes,” Gabriel said now, still a bit petulant at not being asked to do the wedding cakes. “And I will help you. I think we could go into business together. My stores are already established, but I was thinking of opening another one up here and why not make it your base camp as well?”

“Don’t feel pressured or anything, mom,” Anna said now. “I think it’s a great idea,” she looked at her older brothers and then back to her mother. “But we’ll all understand if you’re not ready to jump into anything so big yet.”

“No, it’s good,” Naomi said and nodded thankfully as Dean handed her a tissue. “I did absolutely nothing at that retreat for months. Now I feel like I should start all over and it’s really nice that you thought about ways to make that happen. And I would feel honoured to do your wedding menu, but only if Gabriel is allowed to help me. I‘ll make sure he doesn‘t put gummy bears in anything.”

 

They talked on all through the next courses and by the time they were ready for desert, they all felt sleepy and full; Dean and Cas even more than the others because of all the cake they had sampled today.

When they were finally ready for bed, Dean had planned to rub Cas’ aching feet before they went to sleep, but the next thing he knew after he had cuddled up, was the alarm clock on the nightstand reading 6:30 AM and he was curled around Cas from the back, sleepy and very much not fucked.

“Good morning,” he hummed into Cas’ ear now and his hand started exploring as if he just couldn’t help it.

“No,” Cas grumbled sleepily, obviously as equally not fucked as Dean was and grumpy on top, but he pressed his butt out into Dean’s groin nonetheless. He moaned sleepily when Dean reached into his boxers.

“Now it’s a good morning,” he hummed and turned around in Dean’s arms, but he ripped his eyes open when a purring sound was heard at their feet.

“Now, you’ve woken the baby up,” Cas pouted, beyond frustrated. “I can’t have sex with Ben in the bed.”

“I’ll bring him up then, sure the thing wants his feed.”

“Hurry back,” Cas said seductively as Dean picked the furry little bundle up and carried him up the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Let’s get you fed, you little stinker,” Dean said as he put Ben down near his bowl and then filled it with cat food. “Little shit,” he grinned as he scratched the kitten’s fur, just realising how he hadn’t sneezed around the fur ball in over a month. Seems like there was really something to this being around something and losing your allergy, he thought as he was about to leave the kitchen. Just then, Michael came in.

“Morning,” he yawned and Dean thought to himself: Well, cant be a bad host. I gotta make coffee now.

By the time the coffee was brewed, he and Michael were deep in conversation about how it could sometimes suck to manage other people’s work. 

“And whatever you tell them, they always seem to do the exact opposite,” Michael just remarked while Dean already started on breakfast for everyone.

“I so know what you mean. Before Bobby made me junior partner, I was in the management of our firm. Man, the stress I’ve had, you wouldn’t believe it.”

“You got it good,” Michael announced now, as Lucian walked into the kitchen as well, bleary eyed but with flaring nostrils at the smell of coffee and bacon.

“Are you talking about management?" He yawned loudly, saying: "Not my strong suit. I‘m glad I can relax and let my students do the work. Teaching sounds relaxing when I compare it to your work.”

“Yeah,” Dean announced as he handed Michael a couple of plates to put on the table. “I recently gave a lecture at Cas’ college and I really liked not having to worry about more than answering questions at the end,” he grinned a little, but at the mention of Cas, he remembered that he was probably still waiting for him downstairs.

“Shit,” he muttered quietly and checked if he could nip out for a second to tell Cas that it wasn’t a good time right now, when he felt familiar arms around his waist.

“Morning, Dean. Did you forget me?” he whispered in his ear.

“I’m so sorry,” Dean started, but he felt Cas shake his head in his back.

“I see you had all hands full here.”

“Raincheck?”

“Yes,” Cas hummed into his shoulder blade and Dean shivered happily at it. “But once I got you in the basement again, you’re not going out and go chance meeting relatives in the kitchen, ok?”

“Cross my heart,” Dean tried to do the motion with a spatula in his hand, but Cas’ nimble fingers already glided over his chest for him.

“Thanks, babe.”

 

“So what’re you doing today? More wedding business?” Anna asked when they were all digging into their breakfast.

“Yeah, Bela was gonna come over and we’re working on the guest list and then we’re probably gonna do the ‘Save the date’ cards already." 

“I think we can hardly help with that, can we?” Anna went on. “How about we go out today?” She looked at the rest. “I bet we’re gonna find something to do.”

“Great idea,” Lucian smiled at her.

“Good, I’ll call Hester and Hannah then.”

 

The minute the family was out the door, Cas was all over Dean. 

“Babe, I’m cleaning the dishes, wait a few minutes.”

“No!” Cas demanded, turning Dean around forcefully and balling his hands in his t shirt. “Don’t make me beg, Dean. Everything else can wait. Please, please,” he clawed at Dean’s boxers now, desperately trying to get in.

“Fuck, you said you wouldn’t beg, but here you are,” Dean grinned and picked Cas up, the pan in which he fried the bacon loudly making contact with the kitchen tiles on the floor. He pulled Cas’ t shirt off in one go, rubbing and sucking his nipples in turn, while Cas gasped out one ‘please’ after another.

“You are begging me for it, aren’t you?” he grinned again and Cas practically howled in frustration when Dean let go.

“Fuck, I’ll do anything, please just do me!”

“Alright, shh. I got you.” Dean grinned again at Cas’ desperate lust as he flicked his wrist over his damp cock now. 

He saw Cas’ eyes cross at being touched and hips bucked into Dean’s fist hard and fast, while Cas hopped around on the counter.

“Holy shit,” Dean groaned when Cas came, not half a minute into the handjob, and then panted at him with a guilty, almost painfully innocent, look on his face.

“Sorry, I-”

“So eager, baby,” Dean groaned and ripped Cas up, pressing himself against him. “So pent up to be touched by me. Love it.”

“I don’t, though,” Cas grumbled, his quick shot not giving him the bone deep release he really craved. “I wanted you to fuck me, I wanted to be spread around you. Damn it all,” Dean felt Cas shake all over.

“It’s ok, I’m really close as well, I bet I couldn’t have done you the way you wanted anyway. Want you to make me come, baby. Fuck, just touch me.”

“Guess we’re both eager,” Cas said as both his hands found Dean’s cock. “Make it feel as if you’re inside me,” Cas rasped, stroking up and down with both hands at once, locking them tightly around Dean’s length. Cas hooked his legs over his hips as well and moved along with every thrust.

Dean shot his load loudly because of all of this, Cas keeping up his strokes and afterwards playing over his balls while he still held his price in his other hand, softly moving until it was all out of Dean.

“That was good,” Dean panted now, stroking over Cas’ face, who nodded but answered then: 

“It was, but we can do better,” he urged his lips against Dean’s again, his body writhing and drawing him back in. Dean let himself be pulled and soon pressed Cas’ back entirely into the counter.

Cas gave another frustrated howl when the door bell rang. 

“Crap, it’s probably Bela. And we looked screwed six ways from Sunday and are still in our PJs.”

“You answer the door, and I’ll wipe our spunk off me,” Cas said matter-of-factly, and when Dean brought Bela through to the kitchen, he had done not only that, but had retrieved the unfortunate pan which had been in their way earlier.

“Morning lovebirds,” Bela smiled and graciously waved them off when they excused themselves for not being dressed yet. 

“You’re on holiday, you’re entitled. How’re the feet, Cas?” she said with sympathy in her voice.

“Much better, thanks.”

“Good. Today will be fairly straightforward anyway. We’re just putting the guest list together, for which I already made a list of the obligatory business partners, but you can obviously still veto a person if they’re really obnoxious. And then I have some venues I could show you on the internet, which we should really book soon.”

“Did you put all that together yesterday too?” Dean sounded impressed.

“I did,” Bela said with a pleased smile.

“You’re a saint.”

“Glad you noticed that now,” she sassed, but then grew businesslike again. “That leaves us with the open questions of entertainment, finding an officiant, photographer, caterers-”

“Oh, we’ve already found someone for the catering. Cas’ mom will do the menu.”

“Brilliant,” Bela grinned now, and Dean noticed how much she did that now. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her smile before she started dating Charlie, and now that they all got along, she just seemed to be genuinely happy all the time. 

“That puts that off the list. Then all you gotta do is schedule a tasting with her. Trust me, it’s important,” she went over the rest of her notes now and then looked up again. “But perhaps you two should get dressed first. Unless you want to run around in your nightwear all day. I know Charlie does too, curiously,” she softly shook her head and smiled to herself.

 

They went over everything with Bela and by the time the rest of the family was back home, they had already stamped and sealed all the ‘Save the date’ cards which Bela would put into the post when she went home.

“So, now it’s really official,” Cas said to Dean and pulled him close. “In a bit over two months, you’re mine.”

“I’m already yours,” Dean replied.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some real smut for y'all. *Hears all the relieved sighs already* :)

“So, what are we gonna do tonight?” They were in the studio and Dean lazed around, watching Cas finish his art project for the semester with heavy brush strokes while he himself went through the nearly thousand photos of BDSM clubs they had gone to since they decided they were gonna exhibit something together.

“Dunno, maybe movie night with the folks?” Dean blinked innocently and Cas frowned at him from around his easel.

“Not what I wanted to hear,” he hmpfed and a second later, the brush strokes were back even more forcibly than before.

“Perhaps we should play some games then,” Dean said but when Cas looked around the easel again, horny and grinning, he realised what he had just said. “No, I mean board games. Like monopoly or something. Something where everybody can play.”

Cas groaned unhappily. “I already know what happens when we play monopoly. Michael and Lucian will be at each others throats all game long, haggling about one particular street which the other will have bought, while Gabriel sneaks up the electric company, the water works and the stations and wins as clandestinely as he always does.”

“Well, maybe we should play in teams. Let’s see who wins then.”

“Fine,” Cas huffed again and finished his painting in a very grumpy mood.

 

They teamed Michael and Lucian up, Naomi and Anna played together and of course Dean and Cas. Gabriel was a bit pissed at first that he didn’t have a partner, but they all agreed that he didn’t need one anyway. 

In the end, Lucian and Michael stormed off to bed, totally pissed with each other because they couldn’t agree on which properties to buy and Gabriel single-handedly won the game like always, even by himself.

 

“At least this time I didn’t end up in the last place like usually,” Cas laughed, because despite his sexual frustration, he really had had fun tonight at seeing his older brothers playing against each other.

“That’s good. That could maybe get you in the mood for another little game I got planned,” Dean smirked.

Cas shot up from his relaxed state on the bed to grin as happily as when Dean had first mentioned playing.

“And what would we play?”

“Twister!” Dean laughed and produced the game from behind his back. He continued laughing as he set it up and Cas whimpered in frustration behind him, raking his hands through his hair.

“You’re killing me!” he groaned and hid his face in his palms now.

“Hey, hey,” Dean walked over and removed Cas’ hands from his face. “I didn’t tell you the best part, yet.”

“What would that be?” Cas grumbled unhappily.

“If you lose a round your penalty is to take your clothes off.”

“Strip Twister? That changes things,” Cas smirked and climbed off the bed eagerly, positioning himself to one side of the plane with the colour disk in hand. “C’mon, Dean. We’re not getting any younger here.”

“Suddenly you’re really into this game, huh?”

“Oh yes,” Cas rasped and spun the needle around. “Right hand red.”

They both pressed their hand on individual dots and then Dean spun. “Right foot red.”

Cas acted before Dean could find a comfortable spot and placed his foot on the spot behind Dean’s hand.

“Next,” Cas whipped out, Dean admiring the view when Cas bent down to spin.

“Left foot blue,” he announced and once again reacted too quickly for Dean, practically presenting his backside to him now and forcing him to take and unoccupied spot right behind him so that his crotch grazed over Cas’ ass.

“You sneaky fucker,” he moaned into Cas’ neck right in front of him. “You planned this. Does it even say left foot blue?”

“What do you take me for? A cheater?”

“At this game? Yeah,” he answered and lightly nibbled his way down Cas’ neck, who promptly lost his perfectly steady position and toppled over. 

“Seems like I lost this round, right? What would you like me to take off?” he grinned and Dean knew that he was gonna lose on purpose for sure.

5 rounds later, Dean was 100% certain that Cas was cheating, because there was no way that it was possible that his twinky fiancé stared up at him from left foot yellow/ right foot blue/left hand yellow/right hand red, completely naked already, wetting his lips and smirking when Dean took the only red spot that he could reach over his head.

“That’s a pretty compromising position you’re in, Dean,” he cooed and pressed his unclothed erection up into him.

“I think I’m in about 10 compromising positions,” Dean gave back and made Cas aware of his jeansclad knee by rubbing it between his legs where it had been for some minutes.

“You’re a handful sometimes, y’know?” Dean rasped.

Cas pressed up again, letting Dean feel how hard he was. “That’s more than a handful.”

“Fuck!” Dean bit out and moved over Cas completely, kissing him and playing over his body with one hand.

Cas let himself be kissed for some minutes before he looked up, biting down on his bottom lip playfully as he announced: “Your left hand is not on red, Dean. You lost this round. I order you to take your pants off.”

“Yeah might as well,” Dean conceded as they untangled themselves once more. “There is literally nothing you could take off anymore.”

“Perhaps we need a new rule then. You undress whenever you lose and I’ll get to say what you’ll take off when I lose.”

“That’s not how this works,” Dean laughed. “How about I tell you what your punishment is when you lose next, huh?”

“Ok,” Cas smiled innocently, but he purposefully threw the next round again, landing on his butt with a loud slap on the plastic which made Dean stir crazy in 3 seconds flat. 

“Oops, I lost again. Now what would you have me do?”

“Finger yourself open during the next round,” Dean purred into Cas’ ear.

“But how am I to do that if I need both my hands to play?”

“We’ll do a redo when we would have to move the right hand.”

Cas only nodded, but from the way he was practically hopping to get some lube, Dean was very much not fooled. 

 

“Is it good?” Cas moaned several minutes later, while Dean spun again, his right hand three fingers deep in his butt in a very obscene position. His left hand on blue and both his feet on yellow.

“I can hardly see anything, Cas,” Dean moaned from above Cas, purposefully having chosen the next yellow dots so his legs framed Cas from behind and his hand was pressed onto the blue one next to his face. Dean felt nimble fingers brush against his boxers from time to time as Cas was working himself below him.

Dean bit his lips and let his own mercifully free right hand find Cas’ hole himself, testing how open it was and finding it perfect and gaping already. The second Cas felt Dean’s finger in him too, he lost his balance. And this time, Dean actually believed him when he tumbled down and moaned prettily.

“Fuck, so good,” he said, pumping further into himself, his cock twitching visibly.

“You lost this round, Cas,” Dean said sternly. “Hands off. I’ll decide what your next punishment is.”

“Dean, please,” Cas begged, really not wanting to take his fingers out of himself now, but Dean only raised his right eyebrow and he obeyed.

Dean went over to the bed and sat down, shaking his head when Cas wanted to follow.

“Right knee on red.”

“Knee?” Cas questioned, relief dawning on his face.

“That’s what I said,” Dean quipped.

Cas obeyed and went down on one knee, bracing himself.

“Left knee yellow,” Dean commanded next and Cas keened happily as he moved his knee, spreading himself wide and facing down.

“Left hand blue.”

“Blue?” Cas panted, crossing over obediently.

“And right hand yellow.” 

Now Cas knelt on the plane, his arms crossed and bracing himself on all fours.

“What’s next?” 

Dean didn’t reply for a long while, and was sure that Cas could hear nothing but rustling. When he was ready, he finally crossed over and Cas' breath hitched quietly when he felt Dean's hands on his arms.

“Hands tied,” he said and bound them together, letting him feel that the rustling he had heard, was because he had finally lost the rest of his clothes, even though he really hadn’t lost this game.

“Hips up,” was his next command and Cas sobbed with relief as he pressed his ass up.

“Moan.”

Dean pushed into Cas who amply fulfilled his task because he groaned in satisfaction at being filled up to the brink like he had sorely missed it recently.

“Take it,” Dean groaned himself, picking up a rhythm that was fast and dirty, making Cas strain against the bounds on his hands as he was being fucked roughly.

He shoved himself back onto Dean and loud popping noises were now heard where Dean rammed himself into his fiancé underneath him.

“Tell me how much you love it.”

“Fuck,” Cas had only waited for the invitation to talk. “So much. Your thick cock fucking huge inside me. This is it, this is what I was made for. Taking you, being your perfect little slut. Oh, Dean. Keep fucking me just like that.”

“Good job,” Dean praised, his rhythm growing erratic now. “Now, moan again and come for me. That’s it, clench yourself and come like a good boy.”

“Fuck me, ahhhhh!” Cas roared out as he came untouched, pent up release shooting out onto the twister game as Dean heaved himself in a couple more times before he came himself, hot and long down his lover’s hole.

 

“Have I endured my punishment well, Dean?” Cas asked about 10 minutes later when he could finally speak again.

“It’s not a punishment if you get off on it like this, and your definition of winning apparently includes losing on purpose,” Dean tried to chide him which wasn’t all that easy as he flexed himself around Dean’s spent cock when he undid his bounds. Once Cas was free, he immediately turned around, backing Dean onto the bed and stroking his cock, working it with his hands and dipping the tip inside himself until Dean was raging hard again. He took him in deep once more and started riding him.

“Let’s just say, I win,” Cas grinned, playing over Dean’s nipples and then stroking hard over his entire torso while he bounced on his cock. “No matter how I got here, you’re inside me and that makes me the winner.”

Dean chuckled as he grabbed Cas’ hips to guide him down onto himself with every thrust.

“Take everything you need, baby. Wreck yourself on me.”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Cas shouted as he swirled his hips until they both came, still so pent up that Cas’ come shot out in one hot streak and Dean emptying into him with primeval roars he just couldn’t hold back. 

“That was good,” Cas whispered when they were done. “I really needed that.”

“Me too,” Dean whispered back and brushed sweaty streaks of hair from Cas’ forehead before he kissed it and his arms closed around the younger man’s frame in an embrace that would hold forever.


	5. Chapter 5

The days until Christmas dragged on, and their short relief was soon almost forgotten.

“You’re not ok, right?” Dean said under the shower on the 24th of December when Cas rubbed his painful erection desperately on his thigh.

“No," Cas moaned unhappily. "It’s been almost a week. I can’t, I need you so much.”

“It’s ok, baby. Just come here,” Dean took a hold of Cas’ cock and jerked him quickly and thoroughly. “When they’re all gone tonight, you can have me all night, ok? As an extra present. I don’t care if we don’t sleep tonight, but you’re getting what you need.”

“Thank you,” Cas cried as he clung to him, his cock already spilling. “Let me,” he said shakingly as he went on his knees to suck Dean into his mouth to get him off as well.

“Fuck,” Dean raised his head up and promptly got shower spray directly into his face. He spluttered, even more when Cas swirled his whole head around him just like they both loved it.

Dean shook himself to get the fog out of his head as his hands found Cas’ unruly hair. “I wanna finish, hmm so close.”

Cas grinned up at him, holding his tongue out and softly pulling Dean’s balls to add an extra edge as he jerked himself out onto his tongue.

“Fuck, it’s almost embarrassing what you do to me and how quickly you can get me off,” he panted once he was done and Cas got back up with a proud smile. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, both our stamina is non-existent right now. But tonight, I expect more from the both of us.”

“Might have to have a quickie before we’re really ready to play.”

“Anything as long as it involves being close to you,” Cas purred.

Dean ripped open his eyes in fake shock, startling Cas who stared at him with a cloudy gaze. “So you like me for more than the sex then? I don’t know how to deal with this. You think we’re ready for intimacy? I dunno, it’s a big step.”

“You’re so full of shit,” Cas rolled his eyes at Dean, pinching his nipples playfully as he went on sarcastically: “No obviously I’m just here for the fucking. It’s not as if I’m gonna spend my life with you or anything. I’m not one for commitment.”

“Thank god,” Dean sighed and his face parted into a wide grin. “I thought you were going soft on me. Or even worse, demand to kiss me or something.”

“Ew, no. That would be gross,” Cas said, capturing Dean’s neck in his hands, drawing him in.

“So gross,” Dean muttered just before their lips met.

 

The house was filled to the brim on Christmas Eve. Sam and Sarah brought Hester and Hannah, Bobby brought Crowley and Charlie and Bela brought Layla with them.

“Thank god we have a big kitchen table,” Dean grinned at the 16 assembled people who sat elbow to elbow. “Though it might be a bit tight if you all spend the night.”

“Oh don’t worry, we won’t,” Sam said. “We’ll come back in the morning.”

“That’s a good idea, otherwise we might have to take shifts sleeping,” Gabriel said and looked at the whole assembly to earn at least a chuckle. Nobody even grinned and Gabriel pouted as he let another helping of Naomi’s best mashed potatoes fall on his plate.

“Or we might have to stack you in the linen closet so that someone else can sleep in a bed,” Cas said and Dean immediately broke out in uncharacteristic giggles. It wasn’t all that funnier than Gabriel’s words, but he couldn’t help himself, also bringing the whole table down with him. They alternately laughed at Dean’s continued laughter and Gabriel’s funeral expression at everyone losing it over a joke he had not made. 

“Yeah, it’s all so much funnier when you’re disgustingly in love, isn’t it?” he tried to annoy Dean who only nodded and had to dry his eyes with a napkin while he finally calmed down.

 

After dinner, the ones not sleeping in the house left until the morning, and Dean and Cas kept casting glances at each other, telling them with their eyes that they wanted to pull the other apart as soon as they were alone.

The tension between them was palpable the entire rest of the evening, the mere prospect of their night together working as an aphrodisiac. 

Around half past 10, Cas yawned unconvincingly and let his fingers glide down Dean’s arm in promise before he loudly announced that he needed sleep.

Dean stayed behind for a couple of minutes longer, Gabriel not letting him out of their backgammon game until it was finished.

When they were the only ones still up, Dean felt the frustration that had always been Cas’ forte so far in his bones when Gabriel set up the board again after he’d won another round.

“Seriously, Gabe. I’m tired,” and with that he got up and wanted to walk out of the living room.

“No, Dean-o. Another game, c’mon,” Gabriel stood in his way.

“Gabriel,” Dean sighed and felt like he was losing it now. “We’ll pick this up later, I swear, but if you don’t let me go to Cas now, I’ll tackle you to the ground.”

“But Cas is already all the way in dreamland, isn’t he? Or are you waiting for Santa Claus together?”

Dean raked his hands through his hair in exasperation. “You are gonna make me say it, don’t you? No, Gabe. We‘re not waiting for Santa Claus. We‘re gonna do the adult version of the night before Christmas, ok?”

“So that means you’re not having any problems there, have you?” Gabriel asked, strangely without any humour to his voice.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked and took a seat again. 

“Just. Ok, this is slightly uncomfortable, but: After you know the stepfather thing, Cas was very… shall we say…shy about all of this?”

“Be more specific,” Dean encouraged.

“Ok. I never had the feeling that Cas was particularly active, you know, in that area. I mean I haven’t seen him that often, but he always gave off the vibe as if he was a little distant and unsure of himself and as if that was the last thing on his mind.”

“That’s not how I’ve gotten to know him,” Dean said, but thought about what Gabriel had said. It was obvious that he told the truth and for once wasn’t in a joking mood. Now that he mentioned it, Dean felt taken back to the first time they had sex. And the day after when they had let their passion for each other have it’s way in the art studio. How had Cas gotten into all of this? When had all that happened, if Gabriel didn’t even know when Cas had gotten all active and kinky? 

“So you’re saying that you’re, you know, good?” Gabriel shifted awkwardly. “No sudden lulls or anything?”

“No, absolutely not,” Dean answered truthfully. “But why do you care enough to mention it?” 

“Uh… Ah, screw this. Cas is happy with you, any idiot can see that. I only wanted to make sure you’d still be all there should this insane chemistry between you two just not be there anymore. Because, and I can’t believe I of all people am saying this, it’s not the most important thing in the world. What you and my brother have is so much more than just… you know.”

“I know. And you can relax, Gabe. Me and Cas are bigger than what goes on behind closed doors. Even if he’d insist on separate bedrooms and did not want to be close to me like that ever again, it wouldn’t change anything between us.”

“That’s good. Glad to hear it, because I don’t think I could stand it if you one day wouldn’t be part of our family anymore.”

“Me neither, Gabe. You can kick my butt if it ever even looks like that. And can we please get out of this room now? Because this is awkward.”

“No arguments there, bucko,” Gabriel clapped Dean’s shoulder as he climbed up the stairs to the higher floors while Dean turned to the basement.

 

“Oh, Daddy. You made me wait so long. Look I started without you,” Cas twirled around in a nice pink tutu outfit and showed him his prepared backside.

Before Dean’s mind went into overdrive, his last clear thought was that there really had to be more to how Cas got this way, now that he and Gabriel had talked about it. Before that, he had just assumed that Cas had always had a more than healthy appetite for the kink, but if Gabriel could be trusted, which he didn't doubt, Cas hadn't always been the sinful dream he was now.

Cas looked at him with a blush when against his expectations, he wasn’t already nailed hard on the floor.

“What’s the matter, Daddy? Am I not pretty enough for you?”

“Nonsense, angel. You’re absolutely perfect. Come into Daddy’s arms, my doll.”

He sat down on the bed and let Cas climb into his lap. 

“So I’m your precious little girl, am I?" Cas hopped up and down, flashing his pink lacy panties underneath his tutu.

“You’re my perfect little sinner angel, baby. Why don’t you take Daddy up your precious pussy now, huh baby? Ride me all nice and easy, like a good little angel.”

“Daddy!” Cas blushed fiercely as he pulled his panties down and slowly sank down on Dean’s rock hard cock.

“Do you like that, baby? Your daddy making you all sloppy and wet while you play with him?”

“I love it, Daddy,” Cas panted, grabbing Dean’s neck for leverage as he shoved himself up and down.

“Bet you love it when I play with your clit too, huh baby?” Dean cooed and stuck his fingers dirtily into Cas panties and tutu, thumping the head of his leaking cock while Cas got faster, his cheeks slapping onto Dean’s thighs as he fucked himself on him.

“Oh Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Make me yours. I’m your good little angel. Daddy, please.”

“That’s it,” Dean panted dirtily into Cas’ mouth and jacked him infinitely faster. “Come for Daddy, little girl. Cream those pretty little panties for me.”

“Fuck Daddy!” Cas shouted out, his forehead creasing and his hands on Dean’s shoulders pressing hard as he convulsed around the length inside him and reached the seventh heaven only reserved for dirty little angels that experienced an all consuming orgasm.

“So perfect, my baby. Wanna take care of Daddy now?”

Cas nodded, still panting and held on to Dean’s shoulders as he thrusted up into the hotness that was Cas’ ass until he followed him into the same satisfied high.

“So good, my angel. Made Daddy come in your perfect little ass pussy. It’s the perfect place for me, y’know that? You make it your Daddy’s home when you work me like that.”

“I always wanna be good for you,” Cas purred. “I love how I make you happy. I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, my doll. So, so much,” Dean said and banned the memories of his conversation with Gabriel which wanted to bubble up again right now into the farthest corners of his mind for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, anyone who read the comments on the pre-prequel to this story, LIFE UNLIKE BEFORE and the prequel NOT EVERYTHING'S LIKE IT SEEMS, knows that I have been toying with the idea of involving Cas' ex in one of the future stories. It seems like the perfect time now, to learn more about Cas' back story and how he became what he is. There'll be no explicit descriptions of Cas' earlier endeavours, but I'm working on bringing this entire component into this story before the wedding. I guess there'll be some angsting soon, so buckle up for that. :)
> 
> By the way, a perfect picture of Cas is up on my fanfiction blog. NSFW Warning for nudity.   
> [Nakedy Perfect Cas](http://ambecawatson.tumblr.com/post/125536581510)


	6. Chapter 6

“Ready for round two?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Then pull off all your pretty things for me, baby. Real nice and slow. Show off.”

Cas nodded with a happy blush of the continuation of their night as he slowly slipped out of his flimsy tulle skirt and his stockings to match. 

“Fuck, I almost forget how pretty you are when you’re my princess. You look stunning every day, but it’s something special when you put on all these nice things. Does it make you feel special too?”

Cas blushed and licked his kiss swollen lips, hiding his proud erection as he walked back over to the bed. 

“Yes, but even more when you look at me like that.”

“Like what, baby?” Dean made room for Cas and slowly pressed him down into the mattress. He stroked over Cas’ toned body for a while but his head peeked up when Cas didn’t answer him.

“Like that,” Cas purred and stroked his thumb over Dean’s mouth, which he only now realised was softly smiling. “And the expression in your eyes. You adore me,” Cas stated.

“Course I do, sweetheart.”

“You know you looked at me like that even after our first time? I had you hooked the second you laid eyes on me.”

“Who’s being cocky today, huh?” Dean smiled as he stroked over Cas’ nipples with hard-to-hide glee and adoration in his face.

“Me, Daddy,” Cas smiled proudly and then started gasping when Dean’s teeth crazed over his nubs before he looked down at him with a stern expression written over every inch of his face where love had been edged in before.

Cas switched gears, knowing that he had initiated the change, his breath hitching with barely hidden exaltation which he marked over with a trembling in his voice: “Are you gonna punish me, Daddy?”

“Yes, baby. You deserve it,” Dean said hoarse and with a steely tone to his voice. “Turn around, present your butt.”

Cas complied with too much enthusiasm and moaned shamelessly when Dean roughly kneaded his flesh, then he uttered a confused but happy sigh when he saw Dean’s feet appear next to his face.

“What are you doing, Daddy?”

Dean smacked him lightly once, before he pulled Cas’ cheeks apart, breathing on his pucker with his head upside down. “You’ll see soon. You expected a spanking, didn’t you?”

“Yes?” Cas said in an absolutely innocent little voice, juggling his perfect ass invitingly, but Dean only continued to knead it.

“Well, you’re not gonna get it.”

“Then what will you do to me, Daddy?” 

“Why don’t you describe to me what I’m doing?” Dean gave back and sank a little lower, finding Cas’ ass and sinking into it easily as it was still sloppy from their first session.

“AH!” Cas shouted out. “What? I- Oh, AH!”

“You’re not describing, baby. Tell me what I’m doing,” Dean said as he snapped his hips forward with force.

“You’re AH! It feels like you’re AH! Fuck, Dean. You’re punching my prostate with your cock! AH!” Cas shouted whenever Dean’s thrusts not grazed, but literally punched into Cas’ prostate in this unfamiliar angle. 

“Have you been withholding this position from me for all those months, just to give it to me as a Christmas gift?” Cas asked when Dean gave him a few seconds to breathe, pressing kisses to his calves and gyrating his cock in his ass.

“Perhaps," Dean smirked and lightly bit into Cas’ leg, teasing the soft inner part of his thighs before he rode back up. “Do you prefer to discuss this now, or would you rather have me continuing to fuck you?”

“I- AH! Holy- AH! AH!” was Cas’ only reply as Dean grew faster in his thrusts, feeling light-headed from facing downwards for too long and because Cas was just too perfect inside.

“I take it you want to fucked, then?” he smirked when Cas kept up his shouts. “Here I go,” he heaved himself into Cas with his full body weight a few more times, being as satisfied as he had never been when Cas started crying from over-sensitivity as he came.

“Dean,” he sobbed just when Dean felt himself coming too.

“It’s alright, baby,” he said once he had found his voice again and helped a limp Cas to turn around onto his back. He was smiling happily but sobbing at the same time.

“Dean,” he heaved again, hiding his face in his fiancés welcoming arms. 

“It’s ok,” Dean cooed, kissing Cas sweetly. 

“You could have wiped me out like that a week ago, you know?” Cas cried, his body lax and pliant as Dean hugged him close. “After this I’ll probably need another week to stop humming from satisfaction.”

“See? And that’s why we haven’t done it like this until now. Because you know that you’re not the only one who gets desperate when we’re not having regular sex, right?”

“I know,” Cas heaved again, his relief too overwhelming and his emotions flowing over at everything he felt for Dean.

“Shh, it’s alright, Cas. Let’s go to sleep, baby. Is there anything else you need?”

“No, just you,” Cas answered, one last tear rolling down his cheek as he caught Dean’s wrist and held it tight, his engagement ring pressing into Dean’s skin as he tightened his grip on him. 

 

Christmas day was loud and overly warm once all their family was back inside the house, but they wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

They waited for the others to arrive and then they opened a sheer insurmountable mountain of presents. Ben, the kitten, peeked into the living room curiously every time someone opened a present and a collective ‘aww’ went through the group. He tapped in, purring and rubbing himself on Dean’s foot before he caught sight of his prey for the day. With lightning speed, he lunged for the ribbons of the discarded wrappings and brought it all over to play with in Dean’s lap. When the gift giving was over, Cas snickered into Dean’s ear as he looked down and saw all kinds of colourful ribbons on him, alongside a very happily purring orange fur ball.

“I should have picked this to paint.”

“No you shouldn’t have,” Dean grumbled, more at the kitten who put him into such an embarrassing situation than at Cas. “A portrait of the both of us was the perfect present.”

“And so was yours,” Cas held up a brand new camera and despite Dean’s objections, shot the first picture of him and Ben. Everyone including Dean laughed when they saw his indignant face on the tiny screen and he graciously allowed Cas to take some more in which he didn’t look like the grinch.

 

The rest of the day was harmonious and lazy, even Michael and Lucian didn’t argue for once; it was their present for all of them.

Everyone looked incredibly happy during the day, Sammy sometimes appearing as if he couldn’t understand why he was so happy and why he had cheated himself out of so many Christmases with his family. Bela wasn’t any better off and teared up frequently over things like Dean failing to cut the turkey and Naomi swatting at his fingers until he handed over the carving knife, or Gabriel giving each of them a chocolate that would bear their names in his stores later. But most of all when Charlie asked her to move in with her.

“Finally,” Dean punched the air and high-fived with Sarah, who grinned but then cursed with a smile.

“Damn it, I guess I owe Dean a big lunch.”

“You bet on this?” Bela asked, dabbing a tissue underneath her eyes while she gave them the stink eye from within Charlie’s embrace.

“Yep,” Dean nodded. “I bet you were getting it together this year, and Sarah reckoned that it was only gonna be next year.”

“Oh, this whole thing was rigged. You must have talked Charlie into this. That’s cheating,” Sarah said now, crossing her arms.

“ I didn’t,” Dean said, completely astounded. “Charlie, tell her.”

Charlie only grinned and Dean had to defend himself for half an hour before she admitted that he hadn’t influenced her.

“Thanks a lot for letting them know so early,” he sassed her.

“That’s all Cas’ fault, he said you look adorable when you’re feeling awkward, and he was right,” Charlie practically tackle hugged him to make him forgive her.

“You’re really the little sister I never wanted,” he grumbled and pressed her close for a second before their Christmas went on right on into the night without another hiccup.

 

“I must say, I think I’ll love all our Christmases, if they're always like this,” Dean announced as he rolled himself into bed after the family had gone home or to bed, his belly filled up to the brink and a glowing smile on his face. 

“Me too,” Cas replied but then grinned predatorily. 

“Babe, no. Didn’t the wipe out last?”

“It still lasts, but I have another present for you.”

“Does it involve sex?”

“Not right now, but potentially. You know how clingy I can be?”

“Yeah,” Dean said with an asking tone.

“Well, I found a way to ensure you’ll stick to me,” he said and produced patted restraints with four cuffs.

“Show them to me,” Dean said and inspected the article carefully. “Nice touch, but how can we unfasten them when we’re both locked in?”

“Look,” Cas turned the rigid middle bit and revealed a screw thread inside. “When the middle bit is unclasped, we can just open the locks again.”

“That means whoever locks and unlocks the cuffs has complete control over himself and over the other too?”

“Yes,” Cas beamed at Dean having understood what the present meant.

“Very nice. And by the way, I have a present for you as well.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, great minds think alike. Here,” he produced a big white box from within the closet.

Cas looked at him with childish excitement and his hands shook a little when he opened the box.

“You bought the dress?” he gasped and stroked over the satin with a reverent gesture.

“I did, and I had it adjusted in a few places so that it fits you properly, I just told the shop assistant to adjust it to the measurements from the suit. And Cas, if you want to, you can wear it on the day. I know you’d love to.”

“But-”

“Shh,” Dean stopped him from talking on. “I don’t want an answer right now. You can surprise me. Take your time and make a decision. You can either wear it or the suit, but you’re definitely taking it with you and I’ll peal you out of it on our wedding night. You’re gonna be my perfect princess bride even if you decide it’s just for the two of us. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? But you’d also never ask for it.”

“You know me better than anyone,” Cas said as an answer. “You’re right. I’ve dreamt of our wedding day for a long while and I want it to be perfect,” he stroked over the dress again and held it to his body.

“I’ll give you anything you want. Like I said with the cakes, it’s your perfect day. I just wanna celebrate a big party and my love for you, but you have thought about every detail you want for a long while.”

Dean saw that Cas was too moved for words as he put the dress carefully into it’s box again. 

 

Only when they had gotten ready for sleep could Cas find words again: “How did I get so lucky as to have you? You’re my everything. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of comes true with you.”

“I don’t know, babe. I think it was destiny that we found ourselves. Particularly at a time when I had given up trying to find the one. I didn’t know it was gonna be you I was waiting for but now I know it was always only you. Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“Merry Christmas, Charming Dean.”

“Charming? Is that my nickname now?”

“Yes, my prince.”

“You’re so cheesy,” Dean ‘s voice trailed off into sleep.

“And you like it,” Cas answered him with an equally heavy voice.


	7. Chapter 7

“So what are we doing to start the new year?” Dean asked on the 28th of December when they could once again move freely all over the house and Cas celebrated the occasion by running around naked the whole day.

“I don’t know,” he said from around the easel, painting once more and Dean immediately got distracted by splotches of colour all over Cas’ naked body and his cock resting snugly against his legs.

“Deeeean,” Cas said drawn out, wanting to distract his attention.

“Heh?”

“Am I distracting you?”

“Uh huh.”

“Are you capable of words?”

“Uh uh.”

“I’d better put on some clothes then,” Cas let his brush drop and looked at Dean innocently.

Dean looked like he had never been as betrayed as right now. 

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said tonelessly, his eyes wide and vulnerable.

Cas started laughing when Dean looked at him that way and walked over to the couch, climbing him like a tree, and feeling Dean’s hands on his flanks immediately.

“What kind of person do you take me for?”

“For a tease,” Dean pouted and adjusted Cas on his lap.

“You might be right about that,” was the deep chuckled response.

“Hopeless,” Dean sighed contently and laid his cheek on the top of Cas’ head who rolled himself together on his lap. “So, New Year’s?”

“I don’t know. I’m not fond of fireworks, but if you want to do that we could. Or go and watch the parade?”

“Neh, too cold.”

“We could also go to a club and celebrate there.”

“Our kind of club?”

“Obviously,” Cas rolled his eyes and felt a sharp slap on his buttocks. “What was that for?”

“You rolled your eyes.”

“But you couldn’t even see that,” Cas rumbled, feeling Dean’s breath in his hair.

“I don’t need to see it to know that you did it.”

“You know me too well.”

“Not that well,” Dean said tonelessly, but didn’t go on.

 

On the 31st, they went to the club they usually frequented when they were in the mood. Cas took a few more pictures for their art project while Dean mostly admired all the nice leather straps across Cas’ ass. He couldn’t help but knead his cheeks while everybody could see it and tease the strap that went between Cas’ legs up and down a few times.

“You wanna find a quiet place, gorgeous?” he whispered into Cas’ ear. Today they had pretended not to know each other and Dean had waited a whole two hours before he just grabbed Cas like he was just here for a quick fix.

Cas’ eyes gleamed excitedly at the ‘stranger’ rubbing leather against his pucker and his breath hitched when his balls were cupped gently before Dean gave them a good squeeze that made Cas wince. Dean knew Cas could take it, loved it in fact, but one of the other people here didn’t seem to think he was nice enough to the young boy he had just met.

“Hey, dude. Give it a rest. He’s a fresh face to this thing and not as into it as he pretends.”

“Excuse me?” 

Dean turned around and came face to face with a man who was about his age, very well built with had steel blue eyes and black hair.

“I said you should go easy on him. He’s so submissive that he’d never object to anything you wanna do with him, but he doesn’t know his limits. Hello by the way,” the other man looked fondly at Cas, who swallowed heavily and Dean saw recognition dawn on his face.

“You know him, do you?”

“Yes, we uh-”

“Right, I get the picture,” Dean said, interrupting Cas quickly, not wanting to listen to more, already knowing how the other man knew that Cas was submissive. He turned to face the man again. “You got the wrong idea, buddy. We’re here together. He’s mine.”

Cas looked at Dean in amazement, because he had never said this so directly. Mostly they considered themselves in a relationship and the fact that Dean practically owned him as his submissive had never been talked about, even though it was true.

The other man smiled at those words, licking his lips at the both of them. “That sounds very good. He’s finally found someone who’s right for him, yeah? Do you care for a guest star tonight?”

“No,” Dean bit out, practically growling and the other man backed up with his hands held up. 

“Ok, I get it. Enjoy your evening,” he walked off.

 

Neither of them wanted to go into a backroom anymore and instead they sat across from each other in a booth, both nursing a bottle of coke even though Dean really wanted a drink right now. 

“Do you want to get out of here and go to a bar instead? I can go home,” Cas said, completely downcast.

“No, I’m good. Just give me a few minutes to process this.”

They drank their soft drinks quietly, watching the couples in action all around them. On the big stage there was a change now as the bear of a man they had sometimes seen here with his girl carried her off the stage in a bridal carry, the happy picture disrupted by the angry red marks on her back as she smiled up at him.

The man they had run in before now took the stage, having found his submissive for the day.

Cas shifted nervously across from him, but Dean forced himself to watch the entire act of first spanking, then gagging and then hard pounding until both the exhibitions finished.

His fists shook in barely contained rage and emotional hiccup until Cas laid a gentle hand on top of both of them and practically forced Dean to meet his eyes.

“Dean,” he said insistently.

“Let’s find a room, ok?”

“Yes,” Cas said eagerly and sprang up to order the next free room. Luckily, there was one available right now and Dean let himself be led there, seeing how eager to please Cas was and to make it all good again.

Once Cas closed the door, Dean turned to face him.

“How many?”

“I’m sorry?”

“How many more like him?”

Cas’ shoulders fell and his expression looked desolate.

“You’ve never asked me that before. Why does it matter now?”

“Because it’s here now. Here in the club. How many, Cas?”

“I don’t know. Not that many. I came here or other places ever since I was 18, so I don’t know, about 12-15 perhaps?”

“What?” Dean asked, shocked at the number.

“Yes,” Cas confirmed. 

“Tell me everything.” 

“I don’t think that would be good. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m asking you and I want to know. Don’t mind my feelings. I need to know.”

“Alright, then. But only if…”

“If what?”

Cas locked eyes with him. “Only if you let me hold you while I talk. If I don’t feel your body reacting, you might fool me with your numb expression.”

Dean nodded, a little stiffly, but as soon as Cas climbed on top of him, the leather of their costumes creaking where they touched, he admitted that with Cas pressed against his aching heart, he felt much better already. He held Cas by the back of the neck and threw his arms around him with a pained sigh.

“Talk.”

 

Cas told him about how he had discovered that he wanted to try BDSM and to find the perfect Daddy for himself. He had never felt particularly hungry for sex, at least not for vanilla sex. He had tried it with his first boyfriend, the one Zachariah caught him with, but it turned boring to him very quickly. After that, he always searched for the thrill, mostly in themed videos, but he hadn’t tried anything in reality until he was 18. 

He only knew what he had read about and seen in naughty films, and was simply overwhelmed when he entered the very same club they were in right now for the first time on his 18th birthday. It was enticing to him as he asked the manager how he should go about finding the perfect Daddy Dom for himself, his porn research having told him that that was exactly what he wanted and needed.

The manager said that he knew a couple of regulars who might be into this and advised Cas to keep his first ‘dates’ monitored in the club. 

He had gone into a backroom with several men over the following months, but he had always left the club alone. He was majorly turned on by the things done to and with him, but he always felt something lacking. He couldn’t even bring himself to call any of his one-night-stands 'Daddy', no matter what they did. He didn’t feel it inside him to call those random hook ups by that title. He thought that he really wasn't a very sexual guy, albeit his unusual preferences.

Then he had started college. His first day was very exciting but also confusing because he didn’t know where to go, what to say and how in particular he had to do this whole studying business.

At the end of the day, he had been physically and mentally exhausted as he left the arts building and his gaze fell on the framed pictures in a class cabinet showing off famous alumni and sponsors of the university. His gaze had been immediately drawn to a certain green-eyed, freckled visage which haunted all his thoughts and masturbation fantasies for the next couple of weeks, helping him through the difficult beginning of college.

He had never masturbated every day, it didn't do it for him if he didn't have a porno for a visual. But now, he fantasised about all kinds of things, always involving a man that wore Dean's face even if that was the only thing he knew about. One time he was really burly in his fantasies, other times lean or toned. 

 

Later on in the semester, he had gone out to treat himself with a nice play. Some of his course mates were with him that night, but Cas didn’t even remember their names now, because he was immediately captured by the same handsome face he had masturbated to for weeks. His stomach flipped when the man sat down in the row in front of him and he was even more fascinated as the play started and he saw how Dean’s face looked when he was focused or invested. His body was better than everything Cas had ever fantasised about because it was real and Cas felt his mouth water at the broadness of the other man's shoulders alone, imagining holding onto them while he was fucked six ways from Sunday. Cas felt himself harden at the leather armour of the Roman soldiers of Anthony and Cleopatra, and the thought of Dean wearing them, ripping him up and savagely taking him.

He had a boner the entire rest of the play, and once it was over, he followed Dean around with his eyes as he talked to some of his professors before he left the auditorium.

Cas felt like a creepy stalker when he followed the man out into the parking lot, intent on introducing himself to him. Suddenly Dean’s phone rang and he sighed annoyedly before he answered the call.

“Lis? Yes. Yes, alright. I’m on my way.” The conversation had only been eight words on Dean’s end, but the afterglow of the theater production that Cas had seen before was gone from Dean’s face as he walked up to him. He stopped in his tracks because of it, the older man just seemed so annoyed that Cas decided this wasn’t the best time to talk to him.

As he watched Dean drive off, he swore to himself that he would have better luck next time and then walked back home. He paced through his empty house once he got there, restless and not knowing what to do when an idea hit him out of the blue.

He went into the studio and undressed, snickering when he stroked himself and took photos of his erect penis. As he went on pleasuring himself, his thoughts raced more and more, urging him to show to himself how different this one evening had made him feel, so he set the camera up on it’s tripod and continued jerking his cock, pulling the releaser from time to time, his mind filled with Dean.

“Fuck,” he whispered into the empty house, close to coming. “Mhhm, oh yeah! Fuck! Daddy!” he yelled without even thinking about it when his come shot out of him and his finger involuntarily pressed the releaser again.

“Holy shit that was good,” Cas whispered into the empty house again; usually never cursing like this but he just had to now, knowing that he had finally found his Daddy and wouldn‘t rest until he had him.

 

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Dean asked when Cas had reached this point.

“Yes,” he answered honestly, feeling Dean relax and harden against him when he detailed how he had pleasured himself while thinking about him.

“So, those other guys?” Dean didn’t let himself be distracted.

“They weren’t mine. You are.”

Dean gulped at being reminded how he had called Cas his property just now, but he didn’t mind being owned by Cas as well.

“Like I said,” Cas went on, when he felt the tension leave Dean’s body. “You’re my Daddy. I only ever loved you and those other guys didn’t mean anything to me.”

Dean sighed again, stroking his hands over Cas’ back, as he thought about this more. He was mostly ok; Cas was in his arms and that made everything better, but when he thought about all the faceless men who had done Cas in the past he shuddered. If they looked half as good, and fucked nearly as expertly as the one guy he had seen tonight, it was a miracle that Cas was here with him at all.

“Cas…” he croaked and felt a gentle caress on his neck now.

“Dean, remember. Forever yours.”

Dean shivered violently, letting Cas kiss him, stroking all over him, bucking against him. 

“Cas…” he gasped when he was pulled out of his leather wear and felt lips close around his cock while Cas reached behind himself to fumble at a plug that sat between his cheeks.

“Cas,” he moaned when he felt his cock slide into Cas’ ass and played over the leather strips that still covered it.

“Cas!” he yelled when he came hard and then he didn’t say anything anymore because Cas locked their mouths together, letting Dean feel his love and passion with every little move.

They flinched when loud noise started up around them.

“Happy new year, Dean,” Cas whispered, and Dean wouldn‘t even have heard him over the fireworks if Cas hadn‘t been as close as he was, licking the shell of his ear after speaking.

“Happy new year, Cas. I love you. And I’m forever yours.”

He stroked over Cas’ cheek, locking his insecurities in a box while he played with Cas’ still stretched rim and ordered him to get them both hard again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Hurts while writing this, a fitting band for the chapter. :'(

The next few days were the coldest of the winter so far, snow fell every day and the accident rate reached a crucial high. Dean slipped a few times on the pavement and then the icy steps when he tried to carry a new bag of cat litter up the stairs, falling on his butt in the process.

“Son of a bitch,” he said as Cas held out a hand to pull him up but nearly tripped as well and upturned the shopping bag he carried.

“Are you alright?” he asked when he picked the groceries back up.

“Yeah, you?” Dean asked watched Cas nod before he gave Ben, who awaited them inside, the sour look of a mother that had tried to potty-train her child and it still liked it better to poop into his diaper edged onto his face, because of the need to get cat litter for Ben.

Ben looked up at Dean, innocently purring and when he didn’t give up his rigid pose, he rubbed himself on his leg. Dean sighed and let the kitten climb onto his lap once he and Cas had put all the groceries away and sat down for coffee to warm their bones.

Silence fell, but it wasn’t the usual cold winter, beginning of a new year, sleepy silence. It was tense, just like the shopping had been before. They didn’t recognise each other’s behaviour right now and felt like something was not quite clicking.

“When’s your first day back?” Cas asked, not able to bear the silence anymore.

“The 4th,” Dean answered. “And I think I’ll have to go on a business trip at the end of the week. It was in the works last year, I’ll know more after the weekly meeting.”

“Do you really have to go?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll come with you.”

“Cas babe, you can’t. You got courses, and it’s getting closer to the exams again. You shouldn’t skip.”

Cas nodded, his forehead crinkling in hurt. “How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know. Five days perhaps, a week tops. Will you be alright without me?”

“I guess so,” Cas shrugged and rubbed the fur on Ben’s neck even though he really wanted to touch Dean instead, but didn’t know if he could without upsetting both of them.

Dean seemed to know what was going on in Cas’ head, because he caught his fingers on their way through their pet’s fur.

“Cas, listen. Gabe told me over Christmas that he never thought you’d be the person you are with me. Like in bed.”

“He wouldn’t, would he? He’s my brother, I don’t tend to let my siblings know about that sort of thing.”

“No, I mean… He said you seemed not that into it and I should better stick around you once you stopped being like you are right now.”

“You mean all desperate and horny?” Cas gulped and felt a pang of hurt and shame about putting himself out there like he usually did.

“Yes,” Dean confirmed, stroking over Cas' wrist to tell him that he shouldn't feel ashamed. “Gabe thinks I’m pushing you into this. Am I overbearing, Cas? Like am I forcing you to play this act because you know how much I like it?”

“Where is this coming from?” Cas asked back, his eyes wide and scared. “You know how I was in the beginning, before we even knew each other. I haven’t changed.”

“But that guy in the club said you changed,” Dean gave back and there was the conversation neither of them wanted to have. “He said you were so submissive that you couldn’t even stand up for yourself. Much less trail after me, make me want you without even knowing you and being as bratty as you sometimes get.”

“I didn’t change, I only let you see sides of me that no one else knows about. But you’re right. I was determined to have you for my own. That’s the only thing I ever really wanted in my life.”

Dean seemed reassured, but by the way he frowned as Ben now clawed up his torso to be able to get onto his shoulder and rub his head on his cheek, Cas knew that there was something else.

“Were those other guys better than me?” he asked now, and he should look something among the lines of adorable and ridiculous with a little orange ball of purrs all over one side of his face, but Cas saw the hopelessness in Dean’s eyes and his scrunched shoulders as if he expected a blow of epic proportions.

“No, none of them came even close to what you do to me,” Cas blushed and stared at the table. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.”

“But you were in love with that boy in highschool, right?”

Cas looked up suddenly, his eyes betraying the truth before he even answered.

“Yes, I was.”

“I don’t think you ever told me how it ended,” Dean said, taking Ben off his shoulder now and the kitten, seeing that Dean’s distress wasn’t as great as Cas’ right now, tapped over the table to press his nose against him and purr to make him feel better, his whiskers tickling his face.

“It was just a highschool fling, and once I got this house it wasn’t as if I was around him all the time. But we went out a couple of months. Partly because I wanted to defy Zachariah and back then I thought I also defied mom with it. But I was in love with him as well," he confirmed and Dean felt as if his heart was squashed by an iron fist. " But we didn’t do much during the summer from 10th to 11th grade because I had to work to fill my fridge, and only took things back up in school again for a while. It ended because I was bored with having ordinary sex. He felt like I wasn’t into him enough.”

“So it ended while you were still feeling something for him?” Dean asked, Ben’s little paws on his thighs again. Poor Ben didn’t know who to soothe at the moment and kept pacing back and forth between them.

“I guess,” Cas shrugged. “It’s not as if it matters.”

Silence fell once more while Ben made himself as long as possible, holding out his head for Dean and his belly for Cas to scratch.

“If you’d see him again… Given that you now know what kind of sex you like and are not afraid to ask for it, would it make a difference?”

“I don’t know,” Cas admitted.

“I can’t compare this to anything I know, Cas. I’ve never loved anyone before you. Certainly not Lisa or anyone else. I think I can compare my life before you to what you had with those other guys, y’know? But your highschool sweetheart, your first love? Perhaps that’s different.”

Silence fell again, filled with tension.

“Cas, can you do something for me while I’m gone?”

“Anything you wish,” Cas replied immediately.

“I want you to meet him again. See if you still feel something for him.”

“It’s not gonna change anything if I find out that there is still something left. You must know that.”

“ _You_ can’t even know that. Wouldn’t you like to know for sure?” Dean said tonelessly.

“I guess we’d feel better if we knew,” Cas nodded, not really sure but noticing that this was important to Dean.

“Will you let me know what’s what before you do anything?”

“Dean, I won’t-”

“Will you?” Dean interrupted, his eyes pleading and Cas clearly saw something within him breaking, so he didn’t tell him that he’d never do anything with someone else, but instead he nodded, knowing that Dean wouldn’t believe him right now.

Silence fell once more, neither knew how to go on.

“So what are we gonna do now?” Cas asked at long last.

“I wanna pound you into the mattress from behind,” Dean admitted weakly, despite his hard words. It was gonna be easier to put on a role than to be inside his own head right now.

“I want that. Tie me up too?”

“Yeah.”

 

“That’ll teach you to play with other boys, won’t it?” Dean rasped viciously into Cas’ ear, tightening cuffs on the headboard, and thrusted into him as hard as he could.

Cas cried out, his whole face wet from tears as Dean’s hips punched into his reddened ass. He had spanked him harder than ever and Cas had come twice throughout it.

“Ngh!” he bit into the pillows as he came for the third time, crying more because he was so over-sensitive and Dean spread him so wide.

The play scenario they had picked held too much of the truth for light action, giving them both an extra edge as their frustration left them for the time being.

“Please, Daddy. I won’t do it again. I won’t. Oh fuck, just come inside me.”

“You can bet that I’ll do that. Ruin you for anyone else. Take it,” he shouted, roughly pushing Cas’ lower back into the bed and bench-pressing into him, Cas sobbing quietly as his completely exhausted cock rubbed over the comforter underneath him until Dean finally finished.

“I feel better,” Dean panted into Cas’ ear and undid the restraints before both of them zoned out of consciousness, completely drained and exhausted.

 

“Please, Dean. Just one more time.”

“I can’t, babe. There is no way that little Dean will work up enough energy to join the party again.”

It was the night, or rather the early morning of the start of Dean’s business trip and they hadn’t slept. Instead they had done it all over the house and not only was Dean entirely spent, but Cas was gaping wide open and his rim was swollen and red, yet still he wanted more.

“You won’t be able to sit for a week,” Dean said and rubbed ointment into Cas, who’s breath hitched and Dean saw dried tracks of tears on his face like every time they had fucked during the last few days.

Dean would do Cas exactly like he wanted it, and afterwards hold him until his tears dried up; oversensitivity, the sting of spanking and rough sex probably not being the only reason for his sobs.

“Please, Dean,” he heaved once again and spread himself, drops of come leaking out of him as Dean looked down on himself surprised when he actually got it up again. He slipped between Cas’ legs and cupped the side of his face, kissing him sweetly as he rode back inside.

“No, Dean. Don’t fucking say goodbye,” Cas fumed and swatted Dean’s gentle hand away. He turned them around and he straddled him. “Don’t you dare to say goodbye,” he shouted as he picked up a rhythm that just had to hurt him. “You’re gonna give me everything, forever. And then some!”

Dean felt his eyes water, his cock killing him when it rubbed against Cas’ sloppy insides.

“Cas, fuck I don’t think I can… It’s building and building but it’s not crashing. I- fuck I can’t.”

“We’re gonna get there, together. Jerk me, please!”

Dean’s sweaty hand found the velvety hardness of Cas, the throbbing of it bringing him even higher but still not getting him to finish.

“Cas,” he cried out, his voice and body a mess and only when Cas fell down and both cried harder as their mouths touched after all, they came absolutely simultaneously. The fire pooling through them made them sob into their kiss, the orgasm painful and relieving at the same time. Dean wiped his cheeks, but it didn’t help, water just kept on flowing out of his eyes and Cas wasn’t any better off.

“Was it your plan to handicap me so that I can’t walk out?” Dean whispered against Cas’ sweaty temple next to his mouth.

The answer was a muffled grunt of approval.

 

Dean needed so long to pick himself up that he was almost too late for his flight when he reached his gate. During the entire journey, he hadn’t looked back over his shoulder once, he knew he’d fall apart if he did. Instead, he handed his ticket to the flight attendant with a smile, wincing when his underwear stuck uncomfortably to his raw cock and he had a hard time not to think about how it had gotten like this. It would hurt too much if he did.


	9. Chapter 9

“Hey brother,” Dean was greeted as he left the terminal.

“Benny,” he nodded and was immediately squashed in a bear hug by the regional head of their office in Louisiana.

“Ok, buddy. Go easy on an old man.”

Benny let go of him and a smile was visible underneath his well trimmed beard.

“How are things up in HQ?” he asked as he led Dean to his car. He and Dean had been friends since they had worked just across from each other when they were both still in the management sector and had been promoted right at the same time. Benny had chosen to go back home and run the southern region of the Singer-Winchester empire and Dean didn’t see him as often as he used to anymore.

“Things are good, you must have seen the merger reports.”

“Yeah, with Crowley of all people?” Benny asked and shook his head as he manoeuvred his car away from the airport. “But you know best. And I hear your old man has taken a shine to the very man himself?”

“Yeah, Bobby and Crowley are dating, even if it’s all across the pond. Crowley comes here often and Bobby even talked of flying over soon.”

“Then he’s got it bad,” Benny chuckled before he grew serious again.

“How’re things with you, Dean?”

Dean shrugged the question off, not wanting to open that box when he was holding on so well right now.

“So and so. And with you? How’s Andrea?”

“She’s good. It’s true what the doctors told us. The third pregnancy is easier on her than her first two. And they say the labour won’t be as long as the others either. Kinda a law of nature it seems,” he shrugged and then caught Dean’s eye before he stared out onto the road again. “ You look like death warmed over, Dean. Everything alright with you and Cas?”

“It’s fine, mostly,” Dean tried to distract again. “Hey, did you get the invite?”

“Sure did, brother. Though Andrea is worried she has nothing to wear that isn’t covered in carrot puree.”

Dean nodded, thinking that he had distracted Benny enough to drop it now, but he started prodding again once they were outside of his house.

“Listen, I know something’s up with you. So why don’t we put you up in the guest room, greet the missus and the munchkins and then have a talk? Preferably with a couple of whiskeys involved.”

“I’m here to work, Benny,” Dean raked his hands through his hair.

“I know that,” Benny drawled. “We’ll work tomorrow morning, today you‘re telling me about what‘s weighing on you.”

“Alright,” Dean sighed, happy to let Benny in on what was going on in his head after all.

 

* * *

 

 

Cas took his seat in the lecture hall, twiddling his pencil and staring at his phone. When was the soonest possible time to send Dean an ‘I miss you’ text, he wondered. Should Dean be gone more than two hours before he could legitimately tell him that? He was counting how long Dean was gonna be on the plane and decided he’d wait until he must have landed to write something.

The students behind Cas were absolutely annoying him once he paid attention to their conversation.

“I’m only doing design to get into fashion.”

“Oh really?” was the bitchy reply. “And do you know designers or anyone?”

“I have lots of contacts. Just yesterday I went to this showing before the fashion week-”

“Good lord, why do you get up so early?” Cas heard a familiar voice yawn next to him. “I thought part of studying was that you could sleep in all the time?”

“Charlie?”

“Right first time, sugar,” Charlie yawned again and Cas saw that she had brought a four cup holder with extra large starbucks coffee in with her.

“What are you doing here?” Cas asked as they hugged. “And do you want to burn more than one hole into your stomach with all that coffee?” he sassed, already feeling more like himself and not like an empty shell by Charlie’s simple presence here.

“Shut up, loser,” she answered and handed him one of her precious cups. “You know how it is to program all night when the deadline for the cooperate douches is almost up?”

“No?”

“Then don’t judge my coffee consumption,” she flashed him a bright smile and kissed him on the cheek.

“You’re here even though you had to program all night?”

“Yes,” she said, curling in next to him.

“Why?”

“Because Dean told me that you’d need me.”

“When?”

“Like a week ago or so.”

“He’d known that I needed you, even back then,” Cas smiled and took his phone up.

“Love you and miss you so much? Thanks for lending Charlie to me? I’ll give her back without any scratches?” Charlie read off Cas’ screen in mock annoyed questions. “Definitely not enough coffee,” she quipped and downed the rest of her first cup.

“You know how I mean it,” Cas nudged her.

“I do,” she relaxed on his shoulder just when his professor came in. “Do I have to stay awake for whatever this is?”

“Renaissance, and it’s mostly revision for the exam.”

“Ok,” Charlie yawned again. “Pinch me if I snore.”

Cas removed the empty cup from Charlie’s grasp when she miraculously really went to sleep next to him and with her grounding him, he was able to focus on the lecture which really contained all the cliffnotes from the lecture series plus some well meant hints as to what the exam was gonna be about in particular.

After one and a half hours, Cas gently shook Charlie awake.

“Merry Christmas,” she said disorientated and smoothed her hair out of her face. “I really should think about a new haircut,” she pondered, pulling at a long strand of hair. “Hey Cas,” she smiled when she realised where she was and Cas helped her onto her feet. “You’re very nice to sleep on.”

“Thanks,” he grinned as they walked to his next course. “You should go home and rest though. I can manage on my own.”

“No, Dean would kill me if I did that. I’m your bodyguard for the rest of the day, though I wouldn’t mind another nap.”

When they had reached the course room for Cas’ next seminar, Charlie put her head on the table immediately.

“I’m so glad that my educational days are over.”

“Hey, we can’t all get as far as our master in applied computer science in 5 semesters.”

“What can I say?” Charlie grinned, “they practically threw those diplomas at me. I think they just wanted me out of the university sooner.”

“It’s because you’re a genius.”

“I know,” she smiled and then took Cas’ hand. “You know that me and Bela are on Cas duty the entire week, right? She’s put together an agenda of things to do and is coming over to yours after work.”

Cas nodded with a lump in his throat, happy not to be alone.

 

* * *

 

 

“Heeeeello, darling,” Dean drawled into his laptop, a confused Cas appearing on the screen already in bed and with pyjamas on.

“Have you been drinking, Dean?”

“Jus’ a tiny bit,” Dean held his thumb and index finger close together in front of the camera so that Cas could see nothing other than skin. “How’re things, babe? Has the res’ue command arrived?” Dean hiccuped.

“Rescue command?” Cas smiled softly. “Yes, Charlie and Bela are here. Tomorrow after school, Charlie wants to take me out for shopping and to get herself a new haircut."

“Lemme know what you buy, ok?”

Cas nodded and promised that he would, then silence fell again while they didn’t know how to go on, or how to say goodbye and shut the laptop.

“Have you done it yet?”

“No, Dean. I hardly had time to organise anything since you’ve been gone. But I contacted him on facebook-”

“Ok, enough info,” Dean shook his head so that he saw stars and the room seemed to blur around him. “Just tell me when you make up your mind.”

“Make my mind up about what?”

“If I’m too great a loser to marry after all.”

Cas gulped, blinking against his stinging eyes and frowned at his computer. “Dean, if you wouldn’t be so far away, I’d probably punch you right now.”

“I know,” Dean sighed and tried hard to focus on the glowing screen. “I’m just always es’pecting the wors’ outcome, y’know? Because how could something good ever come to me and s’ay?”

“I can hardly understand you, Dean. You’re slurring.”

“ Sorry,” Dean hiccuped again. “I’ll talk to you tomo’ow.”

“Ok,” Cas hugged a pillow to his chest and his forehead cringed visibly.

“What is it?”

“The pillow doesn’t smell like you anymore.”

“You’re in the bedroom, righ‘ ? Jus’ get the one from the basement, haven‘t changed the sheets all of las‘ week.”

“I will,” Cas sighed and involuntarily stroked his index finger over the part of the screen where he could she Dean’s cheek. “I miss you.”

“Me too,” Dean agreed and silence fell for a couple of minutes before they agreed to shut the connection at the same time.

“One… two… three,” Dean said and pressed the red button to end the call.

The screen turned black and Dean felt cold when he tugged himself in to sleep off the booze, his back to the empty side of the bed.

Cas on the other hand, a couple of hundred miles away, wished both Charlie and Bela a good night, before he went into the basement and every other room that could possibly hold a pillow. He arranged them all in a nice, Dean shaped lump on the empty side of the bed, making sure that the basement pillow with Dean’s scent all over it was up where his face would have been. He straddled his construction by hooking one leg over it and throwing one arm across it. Then he inhaled deeply, almost convincing himself that it was real and falling into an exhausted sleep, breathing in Dean’s scent from time to time.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean woke up with the mother of all headaches.

“I should never be allowed near a bottle again,” he groaned as he picked himself up and hobbled into the shower.

After he dressed and went out into the kitchen, his headache grew worse when Benny’s two little boys climbed him and asked him to play with them.

“Give him a rest boys,” Benny said looking almost as wrecked as Dean while he made breakfast.

“Mornin’ ”, Benny’s wife Andrea yawned as she came in and her sons sprang up on her until Benny had to tell them in a booming voice that mommy was no toy and they should find something else to do before breakfast.

Andrea nodded thankfully and let herself fall onto the nearest chair, folding her hands over her round belly.

“I swear this is the last child we’re having,” she groaned and held her back.

“Didn’t you already say that after little Benny _and_ after Andrew?”

“I did, but Benny managed to convince me each time that we should try for a girl again.”

“And it worked?” Dean asked and both nodded. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks brother,” Benny said as he set breakfast down and called the kids in.

The excited boys laughed and smeared with their food while they ate but when Andrea told them to wash up before she drove them to day care, they listened to her immediately.

“Are you alright to drive, darlin’ ?” Benny asked and got up, stroking over her belly with concern in his eyes.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” she soothed him and then helped the boys into their coats.

“Who knew you’d be such a teddy bear,” Dean smiled when they were alone and getting ready to go to work.

“I always was,” Benny drawled and clapped Dean’s back. “Sorry,” he said ruefully when Dean winced at a sharp pang in his head at the sudden movement.

“We went a little overboard with the booze last night, didn’t we?”

“Sure did, but I think it was necessary for you to admit all that,” Benny pondered, putting on shades as he pulled off from the curb.

“Do you really think that Cas still has feelings for the guy?” he asked when he thought about Dean’s ramblings last night.

“You should have seen his face when he talked about him,” Dean stared into the distance, recalling Cas’ expression when he had brought the topic of his ex up. “There was more than he cared to admit.”

“How’s long’s it been since they broke up?”

“Not long enough,” Dean sighed. “And they went through some stuff together. And it wasn’t over for Cas, y’know... emotionally... when it ended.”

“So you think there’s still something there?”

“I know it, Benny. Because I know Cas. The way he was…” Dean shook his head, but stopped when it hurt again. “It seemed like he desperately wanted to try and convince me that he’s indifferent.”

“Makes sense,” Benny said and went on when Dean only looked at him in confusion. “That you want him to have no unfinished business. If he doesn’t admit this to himself and just moves forward with you without knowing for sure, he’s always gonna carry an insecurity inside him, of what might have been different.”

“He’s so young in that respect,” Dean nodded. “And he needs to be sure of himself. Even if it’s turning me into a mess that he might find something in himself that could screw us up.”

“And that’s why you are so-”

“Screwed up myself right now?” Dean suggested. “Yeah. That and that I miss him like crazy.”

“You should tell him that tonight,” Benny nodded as they pulled up and got their briefcases. “Ready for work?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, inspecting their office here was easy, he had done things like these a thousand times; it was nothing like seeing the love of his life desperately trying to hide feelings for someone else from him. He knew Cas wanted to protect both of them by this, but avoiding having it all clear and out in the open didn’t help either of them.

 

* * *

 

 

“It looks really good,” Cas complimented Charlie’s new, shorter hairstyle.

“Will take some getting used to,” she said and swished her hair around when they continued their way from the hairdresser into a mall.

“What do you wanna look at?” Charlie asked, still playing with her hair from time to time and taking Cas’ arm.

“There is a store here where I buy some uh… bedroom stuff.”

“You mean like…” Charlie blushed when she saw Cas blushing as well. “That kind of bedroom stuff.”

“Would you be alright to wait?”

“No way, Cas. I’m coming with. You’re one of my two best friends in the whole world. We’ve reached the point where we can do stuff like that.”

Cas chuckled, happy to be distracted and not having to think about the message that was sitting in his facebook messenger and haunted him. He hadn’t opened it yet and procrastinated doing so as long as he could. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was scared that his ex was gonna be mad at him. Then he wondered what it would even matter if he was, he was only doing this for Dean’s comfort anyway. He thought of Dean, feeling a bitter pang of missing him and wanting him close, but also wanting to prove to him how stupid he was acting just now.

But was he really? asked a voice inside his head as he tried on some panties that sat very snugly on him. Was Dean really nuts to think this mattered as much as it did? Because if it really meant nothing at all, why couldn’t he bring himself to open the damn message?

He tried to get it out of his head, enjoying his shopping trip with Charlie, who found some nice things she wanted to show Bela in a quiet moment herself, while Cas found some new outfits and toys to surprise Dean with once he was back.

His safety net still worked in the evening, when Bela greeted them with take out she had brought back home.

“Thai is ok, I hope? I really can’t cook to save my life.”

“It’s fine,” Charlie and Cas said as all three dug into their food.

After dinner, his safety remained intact when they watched some movies together and afterwards he went to bed, seeing the Dean-shaped pillow fort still all in place when he sat in position to have his talk with him for the night.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Dean grinned when the connection had established.

“Hello, Dean.”

“So, what did you do today?” Dean was obviously in a better mood than yesterday.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Cas asked and showed Dean every piece he had bought today.

“Very nice,” Dean complimented. “Put the red ones on for me, would you? I wanna see you in them.”

Cas blushed, close to tears with happiness as he stripped off in front of the camera and pulled a red pair of lace panties on for Dean.

“Stroke over your cheeks and tell me how it feels.”

Cas turned and heard a hitching breath over the computer speaker when he raked his fingers over his ass, slapping it so that it jiggled and letting the waistband smack against his waist.

“Oh baby,” Dean said empathetically as Cas turned around and opened his legs to let him see that he was growing hard from simple touches and the knowledge that Dean was watching him alone.

“I wish I could touch you,” Cas said and crept closer to the computer.

“Me too,” Dean answered and opened his slacks. “Tell you what? Why don’t we behave a little naughty once you told me what else is new?”

“I don’t uh…” Cas hummed. “I got a reply, but I haven’t read it yet.”

“Wanna do it together?” Dean asked and let his fingers fall from his crotch as he sat back up, frowning and obviously seeing or hearing something that he didn’t like.

“Yes,” Cas nodded and opened a new tab, finally getting up the courage to open the message that had sat in his inbox the entire day.

“He says that he’s surprised to hear from me, but wouldn’t mind to meet me, tomorrow or the day after,” Cas said, carefully keeping a deadpan expression, even though his heart raced and his palms were sweaty.

When he met Dean’s eye again, he noticed that Dean saw right through him and knew exactly what was going on, and with Dean's hurt expression Cas felt his safety net waver. Dean was right, he noticed. There was more to this than he had admitted to himself before.

As if Dean had looked into his head now, he remarked now: “You should have told me sooner about how it ended, Cas. And that you clearly still feel something.”

“I don’t… I… I don’t know,” Cas admitted as Dean told him what he had said to Benny this morning. He only listened while Dean gestured wildly and looked like he was burning on the inside.

“So you see? You get what I’m trying to say?”

“Yes, Dean. I understand. Before this message and what it did to me I didn't believe you, but now I see that I should put a lid on my past before we move on.”

“I’m glad that you see that,” Dean smiled painfully.

“But you should trust me not to cheat on you,” Cas fumed now, guilty at being caught with unfinished business that still affected him.

“I know you wouldn’t, that’s why I told you to tell me before anything happens. You know, should you feel the urge to give this other thing another go, or if we carry on as normal.”

“Don’t you get it, Dean? I don't want anyone else but you!” Cas yelled and Dean flinched. “What does it matter? I’m with you and I wanna be with you. So what would it change if I still love-”

“-him too?” Dean supplied when Cas clapped a hand over his mouth in shock at his words, not knowing if he really still loved someone else or not. His eyes darted around, searching his head for feelings, but finding nothing but confusion there. He nodded, finally seeing that he'd have to see for himself, in person while Dean went on: “It would change a whole lot of things, Cas. Love is not something you can hide away in a box and wait for the box to go away. It has to be dealt with. I don’t want to wake up next to you in twenty years and see you looking at me, wondering what it would be like if I was someone else. I want us both to be in this 100%.”

“But what if I change? What if it messes things up and you don’t see me the way you see me now?”

“Nothing you could do would ever change that. It would just be part of the bargain, you see? My perfect Cas, admitting that his past is still unfinished to him wouldn’t be different from my perfect Cas living the rest of his life in denial. But in the long haul, it would make a difference to the way _you_ saw your life. I’m doing this for you. Why else do you think I encourage you to go out with someone else? It’s _killing_ me, Cas. But I know that it’s necessary for you.”

Cas felt tears welling up inside him, usually this would be the time where he’d want to be close to Dean but instead he had to hug the pillow that still smelled like him.

He thought he didn’t deserve the love that he saw in Dean’s eyes and heard a soft purring sound and a thud on the bed as the kitten paced over the comforter towards him.

“Hey, little thing,” Dean said as the kitten came within the reach of the laptop camera and Ben turned around, meowing loudly and rubbing his head on the computer. Then he looked up, meowing at Cas accusatory, wanting him to explain why it sounded like Dean but didn’t feel like him.

“It’s ok. Daddy will be home soon, Benny bums.”

“Everything seems in order here, the human Benny is doing a really great job here,” Dean nodded at Cas' words. "I'll be home soon."

Ben’s ear stood up when he heard Dean say ‘Benny’ and he tapped on the keyboard, meowing to get closer.

“No, Ben!” Cas commanded but it was too late. The kitten had already ended the call with it's wish to get closer to Dean and his paw on the wrong key.

 

* * *

 

 

“Damn it!” Dean cursed and whipped out his phone, typing a good night to Cas instead of saying it to his face. After he had sent the text, he thought about it and discovered that he was a tiny bit relieved not to have to end the call himself now and also that he had lost the good mood he was in when the call began and really wasn’t up for cybersex now.

 

When he woke up in the morning he saw that Cas had written him a message saying that he and his ex were gonna meet up over lunch, because Cas didn’t want to make it look like a date if they went out in the evening.

Dean agreed with his plan, but his palms were immediately sweaty and he was either jumpy or on edge the entire morning.

When Benny treated him to lunch, he was constantly checking his phone, seeing if Cas had already written. Dean’s mind came up with all kinds of horror scenarios. Cas in the arms of a faceless someone, Cas frowning at the portrait that had been his Christmas gift for Dean, or Cas collecting his things to make room for someone else.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Benny said when Dean nearly worked himself into a panic.

He looked up at his friend, feeling better by at his steady gaze and warm friendliness.

“You gotta snap out of it, ain’t nothing you can do until he comes to you,” Benny said when Dean voiced his fears.

“Right,” he cleared his throat, feeling as if his sandwich had transformed into a piece of rug on it’s way down, sitting and burning in his stomach like acid.

He stared down onto the table, the loud lunch rush in the diner nearly swallowing his next words.

“I can’t lose him, man. It’d break me.”

“You won’t,” Benny assured him, just when Dean’s phone buzzed.

He needed three attempts to type the lock code in correctly, and his breath went unevenly when he finally read Cas’ text.

“He say he’ll talk to me tonight. He wants face time and say that he and the girls are visiting Layla this afternoon.”

“That sounds good,” Benny beamed.

“I don’t know,” Dean said, still assuming the worst. “I guess I gotta keep busy until then.”

“We’ll find stuff to do for you, even if you have to rebuild that bike I’ve been messing around with all by yourself.”

“You _still_ haven’t fixed that? It’s been years,” Dean caught himself actually laughing and thought he had never been as glad that he and Benny had become friends as today.

“It‘s nearly there, but if you’d help me, we could finish it this evening. Take it out for a test drive too?”

“Yeah, awesome,” Dean agreed, needing to keep busy and fixing things seemed like a very good idea right now. 


	11. Chapter 11

“Cas, quit jittering. You’re worrying Charlie,” Bela chastised him at breakfast.

He looked up from where he nervously shifted and his hands shook around his coffee.

Bela looked at both of them, Cas nervous and Charlie’s usually happy expression washed away by her worry about him.

“I’m making tea,” Bela said helplessly and swatted both their coffee cups away. “No whining, you’re gonna drink and shut up.”

Cas had to agree that the tea really calmed him down and he pulled himself together because Charlie looked like she was about to call her work that she wasn’t gonna come in today.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him today,” Bela soothed her, convincing her that she didn’t need to stay. Charlie nodded, giving Bela a quick peck and Cas a hug before she was out of the door.

“I’m sorry about this,” Cas said as he and Bela got their coats.

“Don’t be,” Bela said, her manner different from Charlie’s easy friendship, but equally affectionate as she took his arm and they walked over to the university buildings a couple of blocks downtown.

“Bela, what if this changes everything?” Cas asked her, knowing that she wouldn’t sugarcoat her opinion.

“It will only change things if you allow it,” she said and ushered him to the coffee cart once they had reached the entrance. “No coffee for you yet. I’m still putting you on tea.”

“You’re really motherly.”

“I’m really not,” Bela laughed.

“But you love taking care of people, and still have a sternness to yourself that makes you authoritative. I mean, the way you organise things and taking every last wish and also essential things into account. That‘s very special.”

“There are some people who would not agree with how you see me. I believe the term ’heartless bitch’ was what people most commonly apply to me.”

“Then they don’t see you properly and I’m guessing that’s because you don’t let them. Because you got hurt and you don’t want it to happen again.”

“Sweetheart, why are you analysing me?”

“Because I think we’re a bit similar in that respect. What would you do? If someone who was there for you during the time that you most needed someone and that person was somehow back but you haven’t dealt with what was back then. How would you react?”

“I’d face the situation,” Bela considered Cas’ questions. “I’d listen to what my brain, my heart and my body tell me.”

“And then?”

Bela shrugged: “I’d go home to Charlie and make some tea.”

Cas laughed out loud, not realising how much tension he had been under until it left him.

Bela laughed with him as they went in to Cas’ first lecture, but when they took their seats, she looked at him with a serious expression.

“You have to decide, Cas. If your past affects your present, you have to decide if you want to let it, or if you leave it behind to move forward into the future. If you let memories affect the way you look at life rather than what is going on in the here and now, you‘re not gonna be very happy.”

“And how do I know what parts of the past to keep and which ones to let go?”

“You just do,” Bela said simply. “Let go of everything you do not need or want a reminder of.”

 With Bela next to him the morning passed quickly, and before he knew it, he was outside the very diner he told Alfie to meet him in.

“Are you gonna be alright?” Bela asked, when Cas’ vision had already zeroed in on the back of a familiar head.

He only nodded, not able to find his voice.

“If you need me, I’ll be in the café around the corner, ok? For anything. If you get flashbacks you can‘t handle, or if you feel like you need an escape.”

“Thank you,” Cas croaked and entered the diner.

 

“Hello Alfie,” he said when he reached the table and his heart raced nervously when the person who expected him got up and came towards him, wanting to hug him but stopping dead in his tracks before he lifted a hand and they shook hands instead.

'Awkward', Cas heard Dean’s voice in his head as he took a seat across from Alfie.

An even more awkward silence fell, and Cas couldn’t look at him, only sneaking a glance now and then because he didn’t know how to start the conversation. What do you say to a person who knows you intimately, but with whom things had not worked out with?

“You look good,” Alfie spoke up, but coloured exactly how Cas remembered the younger version of him doing, at his own words.

“Thanks, you too,” he gave back automatically and searched his brain for something to talk about until he remembered where he had just come from and decided that college as topic was a good icebreaker.

“So what are you doing these days?”

“I’m in my third semester of biology. You?”

“Arts and Lit, third semester too.”

“That fits,” Alfie commented with a short smile and silence fell again, during which both perused the menu.

“So what else is new with you?” Alfie asked when they had placed their order.

Cas searched his mind for things about him that Alfie might still be able to relate to.

“I made up with my mother,” he found a thing he could share with him.

“Wow, really? And what kind of explanation did she have for everything back then?” Alfie gave back, a little more vicious than Cas remembered him.

He was taken aback, but he also understood where Alfie came from. He had wonderful parents that took in homeless teenagers; he wouldn’t know that abuse victims needed forgiveness for hurting other people with their own weakness. He tried to tell him about what she had been through and how she was not to blame for her lack of fighting spirit back in the day, but he stopped when he saw nothing but confusion on Alfie’s face. He then went on to explain some more because he’d maybe understand once he knew the rest of the story.

“So you’re still living in the brownstone, and Zachariah even came there before he got arrested? Wow.”

“Yes, you could say that.”

“And you could really forgive her?”

“Yes, we’re good now. And my brothers and sisters were all here again for Christmas too.”

“Oh wow,” Alfie laughed out loud. “How did you manage that?”

“Well, Dean and I wanted to celebrate our first Christmas by getting all the family together,” Cas said, remembering the recent past with a soft smile.

“Dean? Who’s Dean?” Alfie asked.

“My fiancé,” Cas said and Alfie promptly spluttered into his milkshake.

“Your what?” he coughed. “How can you be engaged? You’re hardly 20.”

“Age doesn‘t matter. Sometimes you just know,” Cas said vaguely.

“I don’t think I’m getting it,” Alfie said and crunched his nose as he thought about this. Cas caught himself smiling because that was exactly what he had done back in the day, but he remembered Bela’s words from before even more clearly. His brain remembered the past fondly, but it also showed him the discrepancies with the present. Alfie didn’t understand his life, that he had given his mother another chance, and that he knew exactly what his future life would look like and with whom he wanted to spend it.

He shrugged as an answer to Alfie’s words as his mind raced on. The next point on Bela’s list had been the heart. He certainly felt excited about meeting him again, but it didn’t feel like what he shared with Dean, nor what he had felt for Alfie back in the day. He had locked this part of his past away for too long and now that it was out there it wasn’t as bad as he feared it to be. There was a fondness there no doubt, but the final verdict in the matter was given by Cas’ body. It remained absolutely mute by the presence of his ex.

“Explain it to me please,” Alfie asked, startling Cas out of his musings. “How can you know when someone is that right for you that you'd take a step like that?”

Cas replied with Bela’s words now: “You just do.”

“I guess,” Alfie said, frowning. “If you found someone who’s right for you.”

“I did,” Cas smiled happily.

“So, tell me about him. What’s he like?”

“He’s wonderful. Kind, caring and incredible.”

“Do you have a picture?”

“Yes,” Cas fished around for his phone and quickly searched through it for a picture of Dean that didn’t show an indecent amount of him, because they usually took countless nudes of each other. He chose one of him looking up with the kitten on his lap that he had transferred to his phone from his new camera.

“That’s my Dean,” he beamed and Alfie’s eyes grew wide.

“He’s a little older, isn’t he? And smoking hot.”

“Hands off, he’s mine,” Cas said possessively with a smile that felt natural and was wholly reserved to everything concerning Dean.

Alfie stared at him: “You never smiled like that before. And just from this picture, I’d say you and him don’t fit.”

“Why is that?”

“I mean, just from this, I see that he’s used to getting what he wants. Who could ever say no to such a face? I mean he can just take anything he wants, can’t he? And he’d be used to getting everything he wants, anyone anywhere. And someone with that low of a sex drive as you can hardly be right for him.”

Cas’ lip quivered first, and then he laughed out loud until people turned around to see what was so funny.

“What did I say?” Alfie asked.

“I’m sorry,” Cas huffed. “It’s just… I totally forgot you remember me like that.”

Alfie frowned. “So you don’t have that low a libido as back then?”

“Definitely not,” Cas continued to chuckle.

“Oh,” Alfie said and stared down at his plate, his brow furrowed.

Cas checked his laughter now and tried to comfort him: “It’s not about you. I just figured out early on that I’m not into what you might call ‘usual stuff’.”

Alfie looked at him with all the innocence of a late teenager who didn’t share Cas’ preferences and had no idea as to what he was hinting.

“Let’s just say, Dean and I click. We click so much that he only has to look at me right and I click.”

“So is that the reason then?”

“Partially,” Cas nodded. “But I could do what Dean and I do with someone else and it would never be the same. Believe me, I’ve tried. Dean is just… right, if you know what I mean.”

“I think I do,” Alfie agreed. “And I see that you changed a lot, and for the better.”

“Thanks,” Cas said, not really being able to return the compliment. He may have matured considerably since they stopped seeing each other, but the boy across him hadn’t, because he didn't need to yet.

“So, what did you want to see me about?” Alfie asked, his expression still friendly despite Cas declaring his love and plans to marry someone else, proving to Cas that he was not the only one who was ok with the way things had gone today.

“I guess I wanted to catch up,” Cas glossed over the reason with a half-truth because he really had wanted to catch up as well. For the rest of the meeting, he let Alfie talk about his family and they gossiped about people they had known in highschool, laughing like they used to, but Cas now knew that it was only memories he enjoyed and that his present and future was unbreakably linked to Dean.

 

“So, how’d things go?” Bela asked when Cas had texted her that he was finished and she came over into the diner after Alfie had gone.

As an answer, Cas hugged her tight and she let out a winded sound.

“What was that for?” she smoothed out her jacket and blazer.

“For telling me that I need to leave the past behind,” he said to her as the door of the diner closed behind them and they walked down the street and back to Cas’ courses as if nothing at all had happened, when in fact, _everything_ had happened.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean tried to keep busy, not wanting to think at all because whenever he did, he thought about drinking again, but decided against it every time. Drinking only numbed him, it didn’t make anything go away permanently.

He chased the thoughts that wanted to race through his mind after that away, because Benny was right. He needed to stay grounded, panicking didn’t help anyone.

He felt better when there was engine grease on his hands and something was fixed up when his work was done. They stood in front of the motorbike that Benny had spent a long time on fixing, finally finished and ready for a test ride. Benny handed him a helmet and Dean roared out of town for a couple of hours, loving the speed of the bike and the impressive landscape roaring by. He felt incredibly free with the engine purring underneath him and all his worries seemed to disappear.

He stopped in front of a swamp once he was out far enough, so impressed that he turned around and wanted to see the look of sheer wonder on Cas’ face as well, but then he remembered that he wasn’t on a road trip with him right now and suddenly the picturesque landscape had lost much of it’s charm. He took some photos of the swamp and herons wading through it nonetheless before he turned back to Benny's home.

He'd set up his computer now, even if he would have to wait hours for Cas to be ready for bed and their talk.

 

When he was back in Benny’s guest room once more, he was debating with himself if he should just press the call button already.

“Screw this,” he whispered and just dialled.

Cas’ face appeared on screen after only a second, startling Dean so that he flinched violently.

“Son of a bitch,” he breathed out, holding a hand to his galloping heart. “I didn’t think you’d answer already.”

“I’ve been sitting here for a while,” Cas admitted. “Right after we got back from Layla’s, I walked up and waited for you to come online.

“You can see when I’m online?”

“Dean, there is a little green dot next to your icon when you’re on.”

“I’ll be damned,” Dean said tonelessly when he looked at the screen with a different focus than before.

He checked the list of his contacts meticulously, not knowing how or if he wanted to start taking about the elephant in the room, or rather the internet connection.

“Dean,” Cas said and he reacted immediately.

“Yeah?”

“I met Alfie today.”

It’s Alfie now? Dean asked himself, a sinking feeling in his gut. They had never called the guy by his somewhat douchey name before.

“I am aware,” Dean nodded and his hands balled into fists.

“Dean…” Cas said haltingly and Dean steeled himself for the blow he had been fearing the whole day.

“I felt something,” Cas said honestly, and Dean felt like he’d never breathe again. “But he’s not the right person for me anymore. It was more about the memories than anything substantial that’s still there. I am thankful of what he did for me back in the day, but you were right. I had to face this, and let go of it before I could move on. You were right to ask me to do this, so I want to thank you for making me face it. I’m so much more with you than I ever was with him.”

Dean’s mind didn’t seem to process it all correctly, his fists still balled on his thighs and waiting for Cas to call them off, so that he didn’t get the full meaning of what he said.

“I- what?”

“You’re the one, Dean,” Cas summed it up. “No unfinished business anymore.”

“Son of a fucking bitch!” Dean shouted out and his eyes started watering as he lunged out and pulled the laptop into his arms.

“Dean, what are you-… are you hugging the laptop?”

“Shut up and take it,” Dean sobbed, keeping his arms wrapped around the computer as a Cas proxy.

“Everything you say,” Cas agreed and Dean wiped his eyes where he couldn’t see it, but it didn’t help. His tears just kept on flowing and no matter what Cas said, Dean cried his eyes out with relief, not even minding that his face and eyes turned red.

“You really didn’t expect this, did you?”

“I didn’t want to presume…” Dean said, searching for a tissue on the nightstand. “Like I said, I always prepare for the worst,” he blew his nose. “So what happens now? Do you wanna be friends with him?”

“No, not really. That part of my life is over. It was an important part, but it’s all in the past.”

Dean stared at Cas through his stinging eyes, seeing nothing of the listlessness that had been there before when they talked about the topic, but only openness and honesty.

“You really mean that,” he said astounded and hid his face in the tissue as more tears welled up again. “Fuck this, why am I crying?”

“Because you’re falling apart, my charming prince. Because you can now finally be weak, because you‘re secure enough to be.”

“When did you turn into Sigmund Freud?” Dean sassed.

“Let’s just say, it’s a good idea to hang around Bela,” Cas said and Dean wondered why Cas’ eyes were dry now.

When his mind caught on and he figured out that Cas was strong for him now, so that he could be weak for once, he heaved heavily.

“Cas,” he breathed deeply to calm himself. “Can you stay on for longer? You don’t even need to talk to me, you can do whatever. Study, or paint, just don’t get the connection time out ’til I’m asleep, ok?”

“I don’t wanna do anything anymore. I'm exhausted by today,” Cas said and fumbled around a bit until Dean saw him getting comfortable, he laptop facing him where he lay on his side.

Dean followed Cas’ example and imitated his pose.

“I wish you were here,” he croaked as he faced the laptop on his side again.

“Me too,” Cas said and both of them sneaked glances of the other as they fell into a sleep which was filled with bone deep exhaustion, but even more intense relief.

 

* * *

 

 

“Where is he? Can you see him already?” Cas hopped up and down, trying to look over the crowd. “Sam, damn it! Why are you so freakishly tall and can’t even use it to find your brother in this mess?” Cas huffed.

“Cas, buddy? No offence, but you’re annoying the shit outta me and Sarah.”

“He’s not annoying me,” Sarah nudged Sam.

“Traitor,” he smiled but Cas had forgotten about their very existence as the crowd in the airport parted for some reason and his head turned as if controlled via remote. Seeing him and running towards him were one thing. Jumping into his arms and locking lips was the next. Dean caught him with his arms underneath his knees, struggling for a bit at his sudden onslaught, but returning Cas’ kisses with equal enthusiasm when he was steady on his feet again.

They didn’t register their surroundings for what must have been 5 or more minutes, only some whistling and clapping, later a loud sound of a cleared thought that sounded vaguely like someone familiar and yet they didn’t let go.

Cas couldn’t stop touching his face and Dean didn’t let him get down, only moved his lips and tongue in sync with him, no matter how much his arms trembled.

“Hello Dean,” Cas rasped after a small perfect part of eternity that only belonged to them.

“Hey Cas,” Dean grinned and felt nimble fingers gleefully trace his little laughter lines as Cas softly stroked his fingertips over them.

“Wow, I thought you’d never overcome the suction of all the dangerous currents around here. I thought you were done for,” they heard a voice that they now recognised as Sam’s again when the world got larger than just them.

“Shut up, Sam,” they said in unison, but this time they heard his groan as they locked lips again.

Shortly after, they heard a smack and looked up to where Sam was righting his mane of long hair and Sarah looked too unconcerned to fool anyone.

“Good on you,” Dean nodded and finally let Cas get down, but even when he stood on his own feet, they kept so closely together as if they were conjoined.

“Right, now that you’re aware that you are in public, how about we drive you back to town and find something to eat or so?”

Sarah looked at Sam incredulous and smacked him against the back of the head again.

“What?”

“Forgive him, his social capacities are at best awkward, at times potentially obnoxious,” Sarah said and motioned them out of the terminal.

“He’s a real pain in the ass sometimes,” Dean nodded in agreement.

“You should really train him better before you take him out into the public again,” Cas shook his head as they got into Sam’s car.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Sam deadpanned as he sat down in the shotgun seat and Dean and Cas got into the back. “So I assume your hilariousness means that you and Cas wanna be alone as soon as you can?”

“Duh!” Sarah smiled and wanted to slap Sam again, but this time around he ducked, and she only lightly caught his cheek, letting her hand sit there as she clapped against it affectionately a few times and then drove them into the city and back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is alright again after the rollercoaster of the last couple of chapters.


	12. Chapter 12

“Welcome back,” Cas said as they waved goodbye to Sam and Sarah. “What do you want to do now?”

“How much time have you got?”

“Sadly not that much, I need to study for the finals.”

“Well, I’ll help you then.”

He pulled Cas into the studio, flicking his tongue in disapproval when he saw papers strung out all over the floor again.

“I tried to study your way, but I was a little lost,” Cas admitted.

“Right, you order the papers and I’ll unpack. Or you’ll come with me,” he said when the thought of not being close to Cas for even a second was unbearable.

“Better,” Cas agreed and hugged Dean tight from around the back as he dumped his dirty clothes in the washing machine and hung up his suits in dry cleaning bags.

“Cas babe, I can hardly move,” he chuckled when Cas followed him every step of the way.

“I don’t want you to,” Cas muttered in his back, breathing in the full blown version of Dean’s scent as opposed to the faint version of it on the pillow.

“Fuck,” Dean said and turned around as the machine started it’s program. “I missed you so much.”

“I know,” Cas breathed and kissed Dean again as he guided him and then hopped onto the machine.

“Baby,” Dean said with an edge and helped Cas out of his clothes. “And prepared too?” he found when his hand found Cas’ plugged up hole.

“I wanted to be ready,” Cas whispered as he prodded under Dean’s clothes, ripping his pants open with a violent yank that placed Dean right between his open legs and sent the trousers tumbling down.

Every thought of at least stepping out of them left Dean’s mind when he felt a touch on his cock for the first time in a week and Cas’ fingernails scraped over his ass as he pulled him closer, whispering: “Pull the plug out, and then put yourself in.”

“Uh huh,” Dean was all agreement, testing if Cas had used enough lube on himself, moaning to show how pleased he was when he found it so. He pulled Cas close, lifted him up and both moaned passionately when what belonged together, finally _was_ together again.

He let Cas back onto the top of the washing machine, going slow and steady because the vibration did most of the work.

“I’m not gonna last,” he let Cas know. “Haven’t done it at all while I was gone.”

“Me neither,” Cas said and held on to Dean’s strong shoulders while he machine vibrated underneath him. “Can you feel that too?”

“Yeah baby,” Dean moaned and moved alongside the vibration.

“Don’t stop,” Cas gasped, their hands roaming over their bodies, reacquainting themselves with every little nook and finding that it was unchanged on the outside, and ready to be whole on the inside.

When Cas clenched, Dean let his eyes fall shut and his head fall back which gave Cas the opportunity to stroke over the tendons of his neck, pressing kisses there and licking over them afterwards.

“Cas,” he moaned, moving his head forwards until in rested against Cas' chest, wanting to hide there and let himself be surrounded entirely by Cas' arms and body as he went back to knowing how it was not to miss him, not to live in fear of losing him. The only danger now being to lose himself inside him which was a risk he was willing to take over and over again, thrusting and panting as Cas held on.

“I need you to hold me,” he whispered, thrusting and shaking with release so close that he could taste it.

“I know,” Cas gave back, pushing himself onto him and coming happily when he felt Dean go off inside him with a moan that was close to a sob.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

“The biggest financier of Renaissance art in Italy was?”

“I don’t know, a pope or someone.”

“That’s wrong and you know it,” Dean pinched Cas’ nipples for his wrong answer.

“Hm, Michelangelo?”

“Wrong again,” Dean scraped his teeth over the back of Cas’ neck.

“Then I give up,” Cas admitted defeat.

“You know what that means?”

“It means you’ll fuck me again?” Cas turned his head.

“No, it means I’ll pull out, get up and take a shower. Alone.”

Cas clenched around him. “No, no, no! Lorenzo de Medici!”

“That’s better,” Dean praised and gave Cas’ butt an affectionate squeeze. “Is this what I have to do to get you to study properly?”

“Yes!” Cas admitted with a proud five-year-old smile over his shoulder as he shifted and Dean gasped into his neck when he felt movement against his cock.

They hadn’t dressed again after their time on the washing machine and instead, Dean ushered Cas back into the studio, getting comfortable on the sofa and letting Cas sit on his once more hardening cock while he asked him all kinds of test questions for his exam. The rule he had put up was that Cas was gonna get punished for every wrong answer, which of course meant that he didn’t give _any_ right answers.

Dean knew that this was gonna happen, but he had played along with it for the longest time because he wanted to touch as much of Cas as he could. Now though, he changed the game.

“New rule because you‘re not even trying. You get one thrust for a right answer. If you keep answering them right in a row, you get one more. But if your answer is wrong you’re down to zero again.”

Cas agreed by pulling Dean’s arms around his body so that they could both read the test questions.

“Do you think this is going to work like that? You can _see_ the next answer when I look it up.”

“Yes, because you want to touch me,” smirked and clenched himself around Dean’s cock inside him.

Dean pulled one arm out of it’s hold and slapped Cas butt, making him moan wantonly because he had missed being spanked so much.

“Not how this works,” he said, stroking up over Cas’ back and messaging the front of his neck in a gentle caress. “I want you to bounce yourself on me if you answer right, ok? Let me see myself fucking your pretty little ass.”

“Fuuuuuck,” Cas drew the word out into a shout at the long missed dirty talk. “Just ask me the damn questions already, Dean.” Then he already presented his other cheek to Dean because he knew the blow was coming. Nonetheless he bucked up and into the hand that worked him.

“Alright, first question,” Dean slapped him one last time, and then let his hand sit there: “Which painter was also called ‘the squinting one’?”

“Guercino,” Cas worked his hips up and down on Dean’s length once.

“But that’s not his full name. Bonus three thrusts if you know it.”

“Giovanni. Francesco. Barbieri.” Cas intoned as he fucked himself on Dean three more times.

“Very good. Next one. Who was the first famous female painter, also painting numerous self-portraits?”

“Sofonisba Anguisciola,” Cas said with lightning speed. “Does that count as two?”

“Fuck yeah,” Dean gave back, Cas fucking himself on him six times, panting as he went: “And she herself was painted by van Dyck when she was… fuck ah… 93 years old?”

“Yes!” Dean shouted. “Bonus five for you. Go.”

“Ask me the next one as I go, please,” Cas panted, rocking up and down in his lap.

“Who was the master of Flémalle?”

“Robert Campin,” Cas said and counted out loud to thirteen, both of them more into the fucking than the quiz by now. “Another!” Cas bit out when he reached six and thought that he wouldn’t come within the next seven thrusts but didn’t want to stop for anything.

“Brunelleschi’s scientific laws were applied to perspective and painting-”

“Masaccio!” Cas yelled out triumphantly. “He initiated the entire Renaissance painting and was an influence on Leonardo, Michelangelo and Raphael.”

“A thousand bonus points to you,” Dean groaned out and let the papers fly as he grabbed Cas from behind, his arms finally finding him again, groping his chest hard and jerking him rapidly.

“Fuck, Dean!”

“Yeah, oh god yeah, keep going!” Dean shouted out when Cas needed much less than his bonus points to bring them both off.

 

“I love this way of studying,” Cas told Dean later, lying square on top of him and playing over his collarbones.

“Me too,” Dean smiled at the ceiling.

He couldn’t stop touching Cas, teasing over the shells of his ears, raking his fingers through his hair, letting his fingers glide softly up and down his back while Cas used him as a pillow.

“Do we still need to talk about what happened?” he asked the ceiling.

“I don’t think so,” Cas purred, sleepy and happy. “It’s been dealt with now.”

“So we’re ok?”

“More than ok. We’re like we always were.”

They didn’t say anything for a long while after that, only holding on and falling back into place.

 

“Hey thing, my little buddy. Where have you been all this time?” Dean said when the kitten finally showed it’s face just when they got ready for bed.

“He knew his dads needed alone time,” Cas said as he watched Dean throw all the pillows from his side and replace it with the real deal, making Cas happily straddle him.

“Was that a squeal, baby?” Dean teased about the small happy noise that he had just uttered as his head found it's place on Dean's chest again.

“It most certainly wasn’t,” he huffed and hid his grin against Dean's skin.

“Thing, help me out. Did your pops just squeal?”

Ben meowed loudly from the crook of Dean’s arm where he had curled himself together.

“See, you’re overruled. It was a squeal and it was adorable,” he sighed contently towards the end of the sentence and closed his eyes, not even realising that he was still smiling until Cas played over his laughter lines again before they fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

In the morning Dean woke up, feeling as down as every morning for the past week until he felt a heavy weight on his arm.

“Cas, you’re here,” he said loudly and started grinning when he noticed that the heavy weight was Cas‘ head.

“Yes,” he heard a grumbled reply. “I’m here. And trying to sleep.”

“No way,” Dean decided and rolled himself on top of Cas.

“You’re in the mood,” he yawned, but nevertheless he made room for Dean between his legs. “I hope you don’t expect me to participate. I have exams today and I can sleep for another hour. Good night.”

Dean chuckled and already unbuttoned Cas’ pyjama top.

“Let’s see about that. Besides, there is nothing better than sex to get you energised before exams.”

“Mhmm,” Cas hummed again, to all the world looking like he really wanted to go back to sleep, even while Dean already tweaked his nipples until they stood up. He chuckled darkly as he lowered his mouth to them, knowing that his morning stubble must scratch Cas’ smooth chest a bit.

He moaned hotly as he teased his tongue around each nipple, not resting until they were swollen and beautifully pink before he nosed his way down Cas’ front and reached into his trousers.

“At least someone is awake for this,” he huffed and jerked Cas’ hard length twice, looking up. “And you’re really not fooling me, y’know? If you would be sleeping, you wouldn’t lick your lips and ball your fists in the sheets.”

“Shh, stop waking me,” Cas said in a voice that showed no signs of sleepiness anymore, even less when Dean took his cock into his mouth and stroked up his body with strong hands as he sucked him off.

“I’m not awake,” Cas said and Dean heard a definite pout in his voice as he caught his hand and teased his fingers over his mouth before he sucked them down, working them like Dean worked his cock.

“Fuck,” he bit out when Dean pulled his wet fingers out of his mouth and he trailed after them with his eyes closed, pouting again when he couldn‘t find them again.

Dean continued his blowjob even when he felt lube pressed into his palm and Cas parting himself further, popping open so that he could finger him.

He moved up, just his hands stimulating him now. “Are you still sleeping? Or did you at least open your eyes to hand me the lube?” he whispered as if he was afraid to wake Cas.

“Yes, I‘m sleeping,” Cas said with his eyes firmly closed and a petulant huff in his voice.

“Pity, because I can’t keep doing this if you’re not all there.”

Cas sighed and finally squinted his eyes open as he saw Dean’s wide grin above him. “You can’t wake me up in the middle of the night, get me hot and then say you won’t do me.”

“Stop pouting, baby. It makes you look too adorable.”

Cas pouted even more until his leg involuntarily twitched up and his hand clamped down on Dean’s shoulder while he continued to work him open.

“Fuck, you nail it. So perfect.”

“What can I say? I know you inside out,” Dean chuckled and kissed Cas’ nose. “So do you want to go back to sleep or do you want me?”

“Stupid question,” Cas huffed and grabbed Dean’s length and pulled it a bit, not so as to hurt him, but as to get him closer.

“That’s it,” he said as he guided Dean into himself.

“Fuck I love when _you_ do this,” he said as he felt Cas receive him inside, still stroking the inches of his length which weren’t in yet.

“I know you do,” Cas beamed now, and pulled Dean’s balls next. “And I know how you love _this_.”

“Yeah, so much that I won’t be able to give it to you if you keep going like this,” he said and pulled Cas’ arm up.

“But Dean,” Cas pouted again as Dean tightly interlaced their fingers and pressed his arms down on the mattress. “I want-”

Cas broke off with a loud moan as Dean nearly pulled out and then slammed back in while he held him down by his arms, lowering his weight on him.

“You want what?”

“You!” Cas shouted and worked himself alongside Dean’s movements. “Only you. And only this. Oh, Dean!”

“Are you having a nightmare, baby?”

“Wh-what?”

“Because you’re screaming in your sleep,” Dean chuckled and kissed the base of Cas’ neck, feeling the vibration of an indignant huff when he answered.

“Stop it.” Dean stilled and wanted to pull out although he clearly knew what Cas meant. “No! No no no! Don’t stop fucking, but stop fucking with me.”

“You don’t make sense, baby.”

“Damn it, Dean,” Cas fumed, locking his legs around him. “Fucking satisfy me. And in case there was any doubt, I am fucking wide awake, ok? Wide awake and wondering why you made that happen if you only wanna tease me. And why do you look at me like that?”

“Like what?” Dean smiled softly, shifting but not thrusting while he cupped Cas‘ face.

“Like heaven is missing it’s prettiest angel and you stumbled across it and can't believe your luck.”

“Well, haven‘t I? Haven‘t I found you?” Dean smirked.

Cas sighed and grouchily accepted his fate as if it was the greatest hardship on the planet that Dean looked at him like he was precious and lovingly thrusted into him again.

“Well go on, if it makes you happy,” he huffed.

Dean let go of Cas’ hands now, stroking over his face and kissing him softly, lazily fucking him.

“It does,” he smiled when Cas looked at him with wide eyes.

“What does?” he said disorientated, not even remembering what they talked about before, now that Dean pushed into him deliciously and made him wanton.

“It makes me happy. That you’re here. That I am here, and that you’re coming,” he smiled when he felt Cas go around him.

Cas moaned loudly, holding on to Dean as he rode him through his orgasm.

“You’re spoiling me. Don‘t pull out, I wanna make you come too,” he said affectionately, his huffish behaviour gone in his post orgasmic glow.

“Uh huh,” he replied, carefully thrusting so that Cas wasn’t gonna be wrecked. He went easy until he felt heat pooling inside him, and he caught Cas’ eyes, feeling as if his love was welling over and ripping him apart as he came.

“Dean?” Cas asked softly when he felt heaved breaths against his body where Dean had collapsed on him. “Are you crying? Why are you crying? Are you still not ok?”

“I am ok,” Dean heaved and braced himself on his elbows now. “That’s the problem. I am good, because you’re here.”

He let his head fall onto Cas’ chest again and pressed his eyes shut, tears pearling out as he did so.

“It’s a problem because it overwhelms you, doesn’t it?” Cas said and suddenly there were gentle hands playing over his back and lips were pressed to his forehead as he nodded.

“You hold so much power over me,” he said, slowly calming down again while listening to Cas’ heart beat. “It scares me sometimes.”

“And let me guess, sometimes means the entirety of last week or basically all the time since New Year’s?”

Dean nodded again.

“Ok,” Cas sounded decisive and Dean smiled at him with a confused expression. “Ok, you can worship me and wake me up like this whenever you’re overwhelmed.”

Dean looked at him for a few seconds, before he felt himself smile wider and then chuckling as he pulled Cas under the shower.

 

In the evening, Cas came by Singer-Winchester because today was also the day that his class project was gonna be exhibited just like last year.

“Look at us. A year later, and doing the same thing again,” Dean seemed unable to stop himself from smiling.

“Well, technically it’s not been a year until next week. The exhibition is sooner this year and we’re not doing the same thing again. We’re going there together and we don’t need to misuse Balthazar’s bathroom again.”

“But we could.”

“And we also couldn‘t,” Cas huffed, having found his grumpy mood again which had apparently only been temporarily gone during their morning sex.

Dean frowned now: “I think we’re both not ok again. I’m over-doing it, and you seem stressed.”

“That’s because of these damn exams,” it broke out of Cas now. “And you’re right. I am grumpy and not ok. But we’ll get there, the both of us. Can you hold me?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Dean came over and closed his arms around Cas and they just stood there, comforting each other.

“I promise I won’t be so grumpy anymore,” Cas said against his shoulder.

“Don’t make promises like that. You can be grumpy all you like. I’m here no matter what.”

“Me too,” Cas sighed. “We’re gonna get better. The both of us. And Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t really mind when you are so gentle with me. I just didn’t feel like I deserved the look in your eyes this morning and then I thought about it. It‘s ok that you‘re shaken and that you need us to be like to be like this. You‘re really not overdoing it, I think it‘s really what we need right now. But not all the time, ok?”

“Of course not. You totally wanted to coax me into taking you hard by all your pouting this morning, right?”

“Yeah and you didn’t take the hint, because you wanted it to be gentle. And I actually wanted it that way too but didn‘t want to admit it to myself.”

Dean thought about this discrepancy within Cas which he may not have fully understood if the last couple of weeks hadn’t happened.

“Cas, you got off like you always do. The way you are is not connected to toys, role play or spanking. You get off on me. On us being together any way we can think of.”

“I know that. Just with everything that went on, it‘s like I lost myself. Between the person I was with other guys, the person I was on my own and the person I am with you.”

“It scares you that your preferences are completely upturned by getting off on everything we do?”

“Not really, not after all this time. It just threw me after seeing my old self reflected back at me and seeing how much I changed. Am I only like this with you? How much is still left of me and how much of me is reaction to you? We’re linked, and I am scared of what happens should that link not work properly for a time. Will we lose ourselves?”

“Let me think about this,” Dean said and held on to Cas for a while, not minding that they may be late if they didn’t leave for the gallery soon.

“I think we changed for good. Like the person that we are now and with each other is who we are now. I’m hopelessly in love and I never thought that could happen to me. And you found a home with me, which you hadn’t ever expected to find. It scares the both of us because we remember how it was before and we don’t want to go back to that. But Cas? I promised you myself for life, remember? You don’t need to fear to ever lose me.”

“And you? Why do you fear it? When you know how crazy I am for you too.”

“I know it,” Dean gulped and held on tighter. “Let me explain it. Sometimes I thought that you would stay with me and that I would live with however bitter you would become next to me, just so long as I didn’t lose you. Then I thought you’d leave me and I would have been at your doorstep every day, asking you to take me back, begging you even. Other times I thought I’d live with everything you would ask of me and we would have worked through your old feelings together until they were gone. I wouldn’t have liked it, but I would have done it nonetheless. So you see? That’s the vicious cycle that has been going on in my head and now that we could just go on as normal, our daily life overwhelms me, because I had not expected to get it back.”

“We’re both a bit thrown, and we _did_ need to talk about it in the end,” Cas said and finally looked Dean in the eye after his long explanation.

Dean nodded and stroked both his thumbs over Cas’ cheek bones. “Let’s be thrown together but let’s not worry about something like this anymore.”

Cas’ body melted into him as he finished Dean‘s thought for him: “Let’s just be happy, ok?”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Dean grinned and didn’t mind anymore that his face hurt from how often he had smiled today as he laced his arm around Cas’ waist when they left his office while he told him all about the projects that they were gonna see exhibited tonight.


	14. Chapter 14

“Yours is gonna be the best,” Dean nudged Cas on their way to the gallery but he just shook his head.

“It’s a group project and I don’t even know if the rest of them have handed in something. I hope they have but if not, we’ll all fail.”

“You mean those girls that we saw at my lecture?”

“Yeah, they all wanted to go together and I haven’t heard from them after our little run in. I’ve tried to contact them, even talked to the professor that they didn’t talk to me anymore, and he said I should just let them do their thing. It’s the same topic after all, doesn’t matter if we did it together or apart.”

“But you're still worried,” Dean suggested.

“Yes. Because from what I know about them, they didn’t seem like the most reliable people.”

“Breathe,” Dean told him. “If the professor says not to worry then it’s gonna be alright.”

Cas nodded as they reached the gallery and with a big breath they went in.

The first one to greet them was Balthazar.

“Hello, and welcome,” he said in his sonorous voice as he came over.

“I’m telling you, tonight there are a lot of cretins here. They don’t understand the faintest thing about it. But Cas, your pieces are already talked about and people keep asking me about them. Glad I could tell them that there are gonna be more soon,” he smirked at the both of them and walked back to his desk, seeing potential buyers there.

“So, wanna do the rounds first or see if your group members actually did something?”

“The second option,” Cas nodded nervously.

“Ok, come with me,” Dean took his hand and moved over to the five black and white large scale photos which functioned as a teaser to their exhibition. Next to it, they saw another photo which got a lot of frowns from the people walking by Cas’ pieces and then seeing the other one.

“Is this it?”

“Yeah, there are their names on the card next to it.”

They both looked at the piece. It was a gangbang with lots of leather and whips involved. Nothing more.

“That’s gotta be a joke, right?” Dean looked back and forth between the pieces, his gaze lasting longer on the couple they had seen a couple of times (and had christened teddy bear and blondie) then looking back to the other photo.

“Did they even get the task? And shouldn’t they have done more than just one thing between the four of them?”

“It wasn’t specified how many there should be. But I gotta ask-”

He broke off when his Renaissance lecturer came over to talk to them.

“This is your piece for the contemporary module?” she asked.

“Those five are, not that one.”

She looked over, cringed her forehead like everybody else looking at the piece and then turned around.

“Group work?”

Cas nodded and she rolled her eyes.

“There are always some rotten apples. But be sure to sent me an invitation when the rest of this set comes out. The attractive man at the desk let me know that you two are planning on expanding this collection.”

“We’ll put you on the guest list, Dr. Visyak,” Dean nodded as she smiled and then turned to walk off, stopping in her tracks and faced Cas again.

“Oh and I’ve looked over the exams from this morning already. You’ll get an A,” she winked at Cas before she moved on.

“She’s nice,” Cas smiled.

“Yeah. Be sure to take courses with her again, alright? She‘s also the coordinator for the Master programme,” Dean let Cas know with waggled eyebrows.

“What are you saying?”

“Oh, just if you would wanna continue studying after your first degree. And Eleanor likes you, I bet she could introduce you to other artists, y’know the real big guns.”

“Sounds good,” Cas gulped, knowing that that was a really big step. “But I also get a lot of exam stress as you know. Perhaps I won’t be able to cope with more pressure after this degree.”

“Well then I should perhaps join you.”

“What?” Cas asked with his eyes wide open.

Dean shrugged. “I always thought that I abandoned art too soon. Perhaps I should take it back up.”

“And do another master in it?”

“It’s just an idea,” he shrugged again.

“No, don’t cast this off,” Cas said with a hand on his chest. “You really wanna do that. And you still know all the stuff you helped me with whenever we studied. You miss it,” he stated. “How could I have missed that?”

Dean captured his hand and looked at him. “You didn't miss it, you remembered it just now. I would not give up my job for it, so it would most likely take me ages, doing all the late night classes and I would only do it for myself, not because I wanna compete with your glory or anything. _You’re_ the true artist.”

“I’m not,” Cas flushed and Dean pulled him in to whisper.

“Look around you, man. Do you see how many people are looking at your exhibit? Compared to the off-balance pottery piece behind you or the picture with the absolute wrong perspectives, you are the rising star here.“ He nuzzled Cas now: “So what if you’re nervous before exams. You have me to help you with everything. You could make it work.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Hell yeah. And who knows, by the time you get your master, I might have mine too.”

“So you’re inscribing then? When?”

“I could start next semester. Admission time isn’t over yet and if I’m lucky they can still squeeze me in.”

“I’m sure it’ll work. We’ll be studying at the same university. Together,” Cas seemed very excited about the prospect.

“But I’m in a different programme. But you can show me off to all your clueless friends like the ones that screwed up your group project.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Cas smirked before he grew serious again. “What is Bobby gonna say? Will you cut back at work?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll talk to him tomorrow and see what would be possible.”

“I hope you can make it work. This will be good for you.”

Dean nodded and they watched Balthazar take the stage.

“Ladies and Gentleman, may I have your attention please. As I’m sure you’re aware, I have been hosting this exhibition for a couple of years now, and I feel like I’ve seen many of the aspiring artists of the scene make their debut here. And since this is the case, I can announce with great pleasure that this gallery will soon host not one, but two Castiel Novak exhibitions. One of them will be a larger collection of the photos you can see behind you,” he gestured to the wall were all of Cas’ large scale photos hung, "and he is working on it together with his life partner Dean Winchester who I won’t have to introduce to anyone.” Everyone clapped and Cas wasn’t the only one who happily blushed from all the attention.

After that they didn’t have much time to talk to each other anymore because a lot of professors, students and guests wanted to talk to them about their work and about the second exhibition which Balthazar hadn’t said anything about.

They dealt with the questions friendly, even when someone criticised their work as being brutal, they held hands to steady themselves and explain the opposite.

The person listened to them with wide eyes when Cas saw Julia and her cronies come over.

“Ah, I understand. But then that other photo really doesn’t fit the description, does it?”

Dean and Cas shook their heads and the approaching girls coloured deeply, having heard the last sentence. They stood by until their conversation with the BDSM newbie was over. Then they jumped on Cas.

“Oh my god, Cas! The professor is such an asshole. He wants to fail us!”

“Oh, that is uh... unfortunate?” Cas said in questioning tone when Dean knew he was actually gleeful.

“Yeah you can say that. And after all the hard work we did for this too.”

“He said it doesn’t fit the topic. I don’t understand that.”

“And he said that it really wasn’t group work that we did, but we all did it together, so that’s bullshit.”

“We were wondering if you could talk to him, because apparently you’re the only one who’s gonna pass.”

“I will, don’t worry,” Cas nodded at them and dragged Dean off to find his professor, rumbling: “Not talking to me for weeks, let alone come out when we did all the shootings and now wanting something from me?”

“Yeah,” Dean said and rolled his eyes.

When they found the instructing professor, he confirmed the girls’ tale and said that they were gonna have to repeat the course next semester.

“After that piece, I wouldn’t have expected a different decision,” said Dr. Visyak who joined them for the end of the conversation. She handed her colleague a fresh glass of champagne as a ‘good on you for not putting up with half assed work’.

When the professors moved on again, Cas ducked his head so that the girls wouldn’t see him.

“If I go back with the bad news, they’ll skin me.”

“Most likely.”

“You wanna run away with me?” Cas’ eyes flashed excitedly.

“Yes, absolutely. But first I need to go to the toilet.”

“But you can’t leave me,” Cas said with his brows creased in shock so that Dean thought he’d never looked more adorable.

“Who said anything about leaving you?” he purred and pulled Cas with him until they reached the very same cubicle in which their journey together had started.

“This is a very good place,” Dean purred and make quick work of wrecking Cas, fumbling inside his trousers already.

“It’s a little smelly and very confined,” Cas shook his head, but then Dean pressed him against the wall of the stall, making him lift his arms as he rubbed against him and continued to stroke him inside his pants.

“Fuck,” Cas bit out, his eyes not able to fix on one specific point as Dean brought him off.

“It _is_ a good place,” Dean purred with insistence, nibbling at Cas' earlobe so that he gasped and his sweaty hands slipped on the stall where he braced himself.

“Yeah, ok ok. Just keep going,” he panted and Dean took it as and invitation to sink down on his knees.

“Keep those hands up and just enjoy this,” he told him before he lowered his mouth on him, twirling his head around his cock until Cas came with a loud shout.

“Shh be quiet, baby,” Dean said as he wiped himself and dipped his fingers into Cas’ mouth to give him a taste.

Cas stared at him intently while he suckled on his digits and Dean finally pulled his arms down.

“All clean?” he asked and Cas nodded around his fingers. “Then we should find something else you can suck on, right?”

Cas smirked as Dean sat down and opened his zipper.

Just when Dean was inside Cas’ throat however, the door to the toilet opened and ruined their trip down memory lane.

“Guys, please. It’s not that kind of toilet,” said Balthazar’s voice.

Cas flushed, still with Dean’s cock in his mouth but he only nodded when Dean put a conspiratory finger to his lips.

“You don’t need to pretend you’re not in here,” Balthazar said after a minute of silence. “I saw you disappear and the sparks were flying between you all evening. Just be quick about it,” he added after another minute of silence.

Once the door closed, Dean broke out in giggles and Cas’ expression turned mischievous as he finished his blow job.

“It _is_ that kind of toilet,” he said after he had swallowed Dean’s release and tugged him back in. Then he straddled him and kissed him with faint traces of come still lingering in his mouth.

“If he had been more insistent, we might have had to uninvite him.”

“Can we go home now though?” Cas asked as he pulled Dean up and they smoothed over the sex wrinkles in their clothes.

“Yeah. We’ll be like ninjas, real stealthy-like .”

They strode out of the gallery, thankfully meeting neither Balthazar nor any annoying group mates.


	15. Chapter 15

“Sooo, what do you reckon?” Dean asked Bobby the next morning after Cas had pestered him to send in his application before bed. 

“I think it’s a great idea, son,” Bobby smiled. “But if I think about our company, it may not be a wise decision to have you off doing courses again. You’re very important to us, and I can’t take on the load all by myself again. I don’t have the energy anymore. Besides, I had planned to spend some time on the other side of the pond. With Crowley,” Bobby honest to god blushed at that.

“What kind of time frame are we talking about?” Dean asked, smiling at seeing his adopted father so happy.

“Just a couple of weeks, to y’know… get our London office some more input,” Bobby mumbled. 

“Sure thing,” Dean grinned meaningful. “Well, in that case I think we should get another person in on this boat. What do you think?”

“Like another partner? Junior junior partner? You thinking about Sam, aren’t you?” Bobby asked wisely.

“I wouldn’t promote Sam until he earned his spurs. But we could let him try for it. Like a competition.”

“You want to get his ambition working so he stays on,” Bobby suggested.

“Yeah, now that he’s back, I don’t want him to leave again. We could refurbish the conference room on this floor and make it into another executive office. Then you could join your man more often on the other side of the Atlantic and I could maybe cut down on my hours as well.”

“You really have been thinking about this a while, have you?”

“Yeah, kinda,” Dean admitted embarrassedly.

“Son? You’ve been slaving away for this firm for years. Never taking a holiday until last year, always working 60 hours a week, at least from what I saw here, and countless more at home, I don‘t doubt it. That also until last year. This job was your life, but now you have more than that and if you really find someone to make partner, that would make a lot of things easier.”

“You sure you’re not mad, or maybe want to call me an idjit? I’ll cut my pay, y’know? And you don’t need to give me a Christmas bonus anymore.”

“I don’t think you understand this, Dean. I ain’t gonna punish you and you know that your salary is fixed, right? That doesn’t change just because you’ll have normal work hours. No need to feel guilty for stepping back a little.”

“I know. It’s just… I feel like I’m leaving you hanging with this. And I don’t even know if Sammy would be up to switch gears for higher management. He’s always wanted to do the law thing.”

“Let’s see if he’d be up for something else,” Bobby said. “He could still work as a lawyer even if he worked his way up. Question is, will you be able to run this ship with your brother when I’m gone?”

Dean gulped and his eyes grew wide until Bobby shook his head in annoyance: “I didn’t mean that, idjit. I plan to stick around for a number of years and kick your butts into gear if I see you run my company into the ground. But if this works out, I could think about retirement. I ain’t getting younger and I’d like some peace soon. Maybe in another year or two I‘ll start cutting back my own hours until you hardly need me at work anymore.”

Dean nodded and silently agreed with Bobby that he deserved his peace. “Do we have candidates we’d like to give a run for their money, or their probationary promotion more like?”

“A couple of people.”

“Then let’s get to it,” Dean said and worked together with Bobby for a few hours to make a list of promising employees who’d maybe be ready to take charge of the entire operation with them, first during the time of Bobby’s absence and if it worked out, for longer. At the top of both their lists was Bela, because she was very capable and would be a perfect asset when it came to the public appearance of the firm. She practically knew everyone they worked with and could play her hand in a public affair very well, as Dean had discovered several times during the last year as well.

They also really put Sammy’s name on the list after Dean went down and asked him if he’d feel up to a challenge. He saw that there suddenly was an ambitious fighting spirit in his brother’s eyes because Bobby and he had thought him worthy to prove himself like this.

“But Sammy?” he added after he had explained the situation to him. “I’ll only open this opportunity to you if you don’t overdo it. I mean it,” he said sternly when Sam wanted to shrug him off. “You enjoy your life, not only work. And I’ll have Sarah report back to me on how you behave when you’re home.”

“You’ll gang up to spy on me?” Sam asked wide-eyed.

“If it’s necessary,” Dean nodded and clapped his brother as he went on his rounds again.

 

He stopped by every possible candidate for the promotion and his last stop on the list was Bela’s pristinely clean office.

“Can a man get a coffee in this joint?” he asked exasperatedly and let himself fall into the chair in front of her desk.

“Rough day?” she asked as she poured him a cup of her own coffee.

“Yeah, you could say,” he said, breathing deeply and calming down. “I hate it when people roll belly over once I tell them about new developments.”

“New developments?” Bela asked and organised their next benefit at the same time, typing furiously and checking out locations online as she went.

“Yeah, people practically purred when I told them that Bobby and I are looking for another partner among the leading employees of the company.”

Bela laughed openly and then answered: “I can imagine that that would make them very keen to impress you. And that’s why you came here? To relax a little and meet someone who won’t toady you?”

“Actually yes. That and that you’re top of the list of candidates.”

Bela stopped typing and looked at him in surprise.

“But, why me? I get that I have qualities you could utilise but this is a family business. Shouldn’t you help Sam get ready for the job?”

“Honestly? I don’t think Sam’s up for it, yet. But if he gets a promotion to his own office out of this, he’ll be happy. Maybe he’ll be ready in a couple of years, but he’s not there yet. And another thing,” he added and drained his coffee. “What makes you think you’re not family?”

Bela looked at him with a moved expression and nodded without finding her voice.

“No snarky comeback? No tears? Has the world stopped turning?” Dean asked theatrically, but Bela didn’t join his playful banter.

“It’s nice. To have a family. To belong.” 

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, serious again. “Look at us, working together and being friends. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?”

“Yes, indeed. A very long way from the unavailable bachelor and the heartless bitch we were in the beginning.”

“That’s kinda rough.”

“That’s what people said and you know it,” Bela shrugged.

“But it’s not true anymore. We’re both happy and in a relationship. Neither unavailable nor heartless anymore, right?”

“Right,” Bela said and poured both of them another coffee. When she sat back down she asked him quietly: “Does it ever scare you?”

“What?”

“Being in a relationship. Caring. Loving?”

“All the time,” Dean answered truthfully. “But we’re doing alright, aren’t we?”

“As long as Charlie or Cas don’t complain, I think we’re doing ok. I never thought you or I could be good with this kind of thing. Did you?”

“Please, me? I was never the dating kinda guy. Guys and girls all over the place, but no one stuck. The Lisa thing was a fix up,” he explained when he saw the objection rising in Bela’s face and then she nodded.

“Come to think of it, yes. Had to be. Would you really have gone through with that thing had Cas not turned up?”

“Neh, I got bored a few steps along the way. It just wasn’t right and I’m not the kinda guy who goes for a socialite because it would look good to date someone like that.”

“Like that would be a problem with you and Cas. You’re bursting fireworks wherever you go and everyone can see it. You do look good together and I saw this in a non-weird way, more like a public eye would see it.”

“I guess we are,” Dean assented. “How ‘bout you? Everything peachy on the home front?”

“Everything’s fine. Charlie has decided yesterday that I am not gonna move in with her, but she with me instead. Which makes sense though I didn‘t wanna suggest it until she came up with it herself. My place is bigger and doesn’t perpetually stink of stale curry.”

“IT people always forget the world around them, and Charlie is no different.”

“Indeed, but I think she would like to look up from her laptop and see and smell something nicer once in a while.”

Dean looked around the office, seeing order and neat arrays of files, scenting the air and still noticing faint traces of good coffee and something that Bela apparently sprayed in here to make it smell better.

He nodded at her, understanding what she meant.

“Beats dust and old take out cartons which are usually all over Charlie’s apartment.”

They fell silent for a few minutes, Bela taking up her work again and Dean just resting for a few more precious moments until it was back to the lion den of potential partners out there.

“I’d better get back to it,” he said and got up. “And Bela? The fact that we barely talked about the possible promotion and instead talked about our lives absolutely makes you part of my family. I don’t want there to be any uncertainties about that.”

“Understood,” she smiled.

 

After lunch, things got worse. Neither Dean nor Sarah had any peace while everyone stormed Dean’s office to tell him about their good work and to ask him to go golfing or skiing or out into the Hamptons over the summer. Whenever they wanted to get back to work, someone else came up and desperately wanted to talk to Dean. 

After Sarah friendly but energetically accompanied Gordon Walker from human resources out the door, both of them fell into their chairs exhaustedly.

“Seriously, Dean. I don’t have a lot to say around here, but I'm gonna say this: Do not choose that guy!” she told him loudly from her seat in his antechamber.

“Hadn’t planned on it,” Dean gave back equally loud, neither of them bothering to get up to talk to each other because they were just too done for today. “I swear the guy’s like a shark, likes getting his teeth into people. But he is also the best when it comes to firing them. Gets real calm and doesn’t allow room for objection when he’s telling people that they need to leave.”

“Guy’s creepy, that’s what he is,” Sarah said and now really got up and crossed over into Dean’s office. “By the way, I was wondering. If you’re going to have another temp up here, that I might stay on for a bit longer. I think Layla will be able to pick up where she started really soon and then I’d be redundant.”

“Don’t say that,” Dean said, but when he thought about seeing Layla back in her chair, he felt very happy. “I'd like to have her back, but I don’t want to see you gone at all. So, what you’re suggesting is not something I’ll need to think about for long. You got the job,” he got up and walked a few paces, always checking with a scared gaze if someone wanted something from him again until he faced Sarah again: “By the way, um… Have you got any plans to leave us? Like have you got a new art thing going?”

“No, not really. I’ve been very happy here and I don’t really wanna go back to running a gallery or something like that any time soon. And it’s harder when you’re starting all by yourself. My father’s auction house was already established when I took over, I don’t really wanna venture into something that risky for a while.”

“So how about if we’d take you over for good? Pays better than being a temp and if you want to you could look into every other department too if you ever wanted to do something different here.”

“What is this? Are you wanting to promote everyone and give them a chance to do better? Me, Sam, Bela?” Sarah asked with a shrewd look on her face and Dean felt analysed. “That’s because you feel selfish for wanting to go back to school and spending more time with Cas,” she stated so decisive that Dean had no chance to object about her hitting the nail on the head.

“Is this the day for everyone knowing my business better than I do?”

“Yes,” Sarah nodded dead serious. “That and all kinds of people thinking they know your business when in fact they want to sell you their own.”

“I’ll be damned,” he said as an answer and because they both heard the door to the antechamber being knocked on before someone entered.

Dean was all ready to put on his professional persona again but felt his face part into a wide smile when a confused looking Cas blundered into the room with his too big trenchcoat and ruffled hair.

“Hey you,” he said and crossed over with fresh energy, ripping him up into his arms and twirling his lighter body around, while Cas gave an indignant huff at this treatment.

“What’s gotten into you, Winchester? Put me down this instant!” he rumbled, but Dean didn’t listen and gave him an extra twirl just cause.

“I’ll leave you crazy kids to it,” Sarah laughed and put her desk back in order, because if Cas was here it meant that the rest of the day had already passed by without them noticing it.

Dean didn’t let go of Cas for a long while, just standing there and holding on, until he felt dosed up on him enough to function normally again.

“So what have you been doing today? Last exams, right?”

“Yes, the semester is finally over now. And by the looks of you, you’re almost as relieved about the day being over as I am about my last day.”

“Oh you have no idea,” he groaned tiredly as he got his coat and took Cas’ hand as they walked out of the office too.

“You can tell me all about it while we’re going out.”

“Going out?” Dean blinked. “Babe, I was looking forward to a quiet night in. I’m sure you’ll understand.”

“I do, but today someone told me about this band playing downtown who apparently do a lot of weddings. Let’s check them out for a couple of minutes before we go home.”

“I guess we should really pick someone for that, huh?”

Cas nodded and leaned in while they rode the elevator down and people filed in, also on their way down.

“And if the band sucks, I really deserve a punishment tonight,” Cas purred into his ear and Dean got goosebumps were his breath hit him as he smiled to himself.

He let his hand sneak underneath Cas’ trenchcoat and roughly kneaded his cheeks as means of agreement to his proposition.


	16. Chapter 16

“Please, Daddy. I’m so sorry. Please, ah!”

“What are you even begging for you naughty little boy, huh? Are you begging me to stop or work you harder?”

“I just want my Daddy inside me. Please!”

“You think you deserve that? Show me how much you want it. Show off for me, baby boy.”

Cas cantered his hips up on the bed, presenting the perfect globes of his ass to Dean’s view, working his inner muscles so that Dean could see it as the parted them, his hands finding the red outlines of themselves again as he saw Cas flexing himself for him.

 

The band had been one epic disaster, which Dean actually hadn’t doubted for one second. It was a college band who had never even heard of AC/DC, so his opinion about them was fixed from the get go.

What was more, Cas had flirted with the man behind the bar pretty heavily, as to ensure that even if the band would have rocked the house, Dean would still take him home to punish him. Which he had done to a great extent.

He had teased Cas for half an hour, rimmed him open with 5 minute breaks in-between one minute licks and when Cas was more than a little desperate, he had spanked him good and plenty.

He marvelled at how Cas’ pretty length dripped onto the comforter and how he hadn’t come even though he had been rock hard ever since Dean’s tongue breached into him, and so he got down low, ignoring Cas‘ desperate hole and licked his cock, tasting precome before he suckled it all up. He turned underneath Cas so that his head was full on in his crotch, but when Cas wanted to thrust his hips into Dean’s mouth he slapped his cheeks again, quietly telling him to keep still. He sucked at the cock in his face for as long as he wanted it, keeping his tongue light on it, sucking the precome off but not providing enough friction to come while he breathed in the delicious scent of Cas’ arousal all around his head. 

He let Cas’ cock plop out of his mouth and pried with his fingers until Cas spread even more and he scented the part of his legs that joined his crotch, nibbling lightly at the prominent tendon there and licking up sweet sweat. 

Then he moved on to the other leg and treated it the same way, all the while ignoring Cas’ slick cock right on his face.

Through his position on the underside of Cas he heard his strangled whimpers only, as he continued to tease him, but the whimpers got louder as he slipped out from underneath him.

“What’s that? You that desperate for it, hmm?”

“So desperate, Daddy. Need your cock. Need it in me.”

“Why don’t you ask that waiter if he’d do it instead?” Dean asked viciously and grabbed two handful of Cas’ ass, wriggling them hard which had Cas whimpering again while his cock twitched.

“I didn’t want him, Daddy. Only you. I just wanted to be p-punished.”

Dean groaned because Cas knew what whimpering stammers did to him.

“Fuck, you know how to coax your Daddy, don’t you?” he mumbled and lined himself up.

The second Cas felt the blunt head of Dean’s cock on his cheeks, he cantered himself up again, opening and inviting him in.

“Please Daddy, please. Look, I’m showing off. Just for you, please,” he sobbed now. “Please give me your cock.”

Dean kept quiet, only watched Cas for a while, marvelling at how flexible his back was as he worked his hips just like he would once Dean finally gave in, presenting himself for the taking.

He lined up again, careful not to give warning this time and then pressed right inside up to the hilt.

“YES! YES! YES! Fuck yeah, Daddy. Ride me!” Cas screamed happily as Dean pressed one hand on the back of his neck and the other on the small of his back and picked up a punishing rhythm inside him.

“That what you wanted?” he panted as sweat dripped off his brow and his thighs started burning from how hard he was fucking.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Cas moaned hungrily and finally shouted out his orgasm, pulling Dean under with him.

Dean came so hard that his eyes moved around without orientation as he fucked it all out into Cas, he couldn’t focus as his come shot out of him and only when it was over could he snap for air and lay down on top of Cas, drooling as he sucked bruising kisses on his shoulders.

“You’re amazing,” he panted, softly stroking Cas’ oversensitive skin before he climbed off and turned him around to kiss his mouth instead.

Cas hissed a little when his ass touched the bed, but he countered the pain by wrapping his legs around Dean and practically lifting himself off the bed while he pushed himself into his front.

“Still hungry, baby?” Dean mumbled between kisses.

“Mhm, yes. Please do me again. But softer this time.”

“Hell yeah. I wouldn’t have another fuck like that in me if you paid me,” Dean chuckled and roamed Cas’ front. “Take over for me,” he gasped and laid down next to Cas, smiling and interlacing their fingers when Cas climbed him.

He felt Cas’ tongue and teeth around his nipples and loosened the grasp of their hands after a few minutes to card through the younger man’s hair, loving the feel of it as it tickled his chest whenever Cas lowered his head onto him again.

“Keep going,” he moaned as Cas played with him for a full half hour before either of them could even think about getting hard again after their epic orgasms from before.

Cas smiled at him and moved up, putting Dean’s hands on his sides and holding them there but hissing when he was all the way up.

“Sore?” 

“My ass feels like it’s burning,” he said and sat up straight on him, gently taking Dean’s fingers and letting him feel the heat in his maltreated cheeks.

“You’re amazing,” Dean said adoringly.

“Yes, you said that,” Cas smiled and held Dean’s hands in place as he sought out Dean’s newly hardened cock with his ass.

“That’s it,” Dean moaned when he felt himself hit home and Cas lowered himself down on him.

“Can you keep your hands on my ass while I ride you and then hold my face when I come?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Dean beamed and felt Cas move, knowing that his hands on him must feel tantalising and hurting, but Cas screwed his eyes shut and picked up a frantic rhythm, getting off on the burn.

“Stroke yourself for me. Let me see it,” Dean cooed and then his eyes zeroed in on Cas jerking off while bouncing on his cock.

“Beautiful,” he moaned.

Cas rode him for another couple of minutes, moaning brokenly, but when he moved down suddenly, Dean knew what to do. Cas panted into his face as he fucked himself on him and Dean let his hands trail up his lover’s back until his palms found his face, framing it on both sides and the gentle touch had Cas come all over the both of them while his hole milked his own orgasm out of him.

“I love you,” he groaned while he was still coming and pulled Cas until their mouths met.

Cas’ hands had found Dean’s strong biceps muscles and held on while they slowed and finally stopped.

“I love you,” he breathed as he laid his cheek on Dean’s chest while they held on to each other. 

 

“We really should find someone to do the music soon though,” were Cas’ first words in the morning as he finally climbed off Dean.

They had slept tightly locked together while Cas braced himself on his legs and continued to lie on top of him. Both of them were sore and stiff because of it and decided to take a bath together.

“Yeah sure,” Dean said as he climbed into the tub, seeing Cas still outside, brushing his teeth before he joined him. He took up his cock inside the water looking at Cas’ red backside moving and jiggling as he rinsed his mouth.

When Cas turned around and saw that Dean had a tunnel vision going on while he fucked his fist, he chuckled: “Horn dog,” and lowered himself into the water too, only to be pulled right onto Dean.

“Yes, and you love it,” Dean slipped right in, because Cas was still all loose from keeping him inside the whole night.

“I do,” Cas beamed, letting his hands rest on the back of the tub behind Dean as he thrusted himself up and down with the water sloshing around them.

“Hmm, yeah,” Dean moaned and grabbed Cas’ ass for purchase, making Cas’ hiss in pleasure because the markings on him were angry red again by the hot water surrounding them.

“Fuck,” he moaned. “Still the same position. My knees don't like this, but I’ll be damned if I’ll stop now.”

He rode them both to orgasm and afterwards Dean insisted on massaging his legs to get them working again.

Cas looked absolutely obscene with his legs going straight up out of the tub and Dean between them, rubbing them in turn until his muscles felt warm and the water was nearly cold.

“C’mon, Dean,” he beamed, sticking three fingers into his well-used hole. “One more time?”

“Horn dog,” Dean gave back but nonetheless fucked him once more while Cas kept his legs all the way up in the air and the cooling water produced goosebumps on their bare skin.

 

“Breakfast?” Cas asked when he peeked into the fridge.

“Just get something quick. We’re finally alone on a weekend,” Dean said with a promising air.

Cas started a bit, not being up for more sex just now but Dean walked over into the living room without further words and sat down, waiting for him.

He came in with some toast, bread spreads and mugs full of hot chocolate instead of coffee.

“Perfect,” Dean said and opened his arms expectantly.

“I don’t know what you want right now,” Cas frowned with a confused smile.

“I want cuddles,” Dean pouted, imitating Cas as best as he could.

Cas chuckled and sank into his arms, dropping his head on his chest again and they quietly shared Cas' hot chocolate, Dean's waiting for the both of them on the coffee table.

“For how long are we doing this?” Cas asked and his head rubbed on Dean’s t shirt as he peeked up at him.

“Well, Monday will come soon enough,” Dean mumbled sleepily and grabbed a blanket to drape over the both of them. “Until then you’re not getting up.”

“But we have a million things to organise yet and we could use the weekend for it.”

“Shut up, I’m cuddling here,” Dean groused and his stubble grazed Cas’ cheek as he sought out his mouth. “You and me, this weekend. No family, no interruptions, no organising. I just need to hold you, and for you to hold me, ok?”

“I understand,” Cas nodded with a smile, and got comfortable. “I can do this.”


	17. Chapter 17

The next few weeks were much more restful for them than everything since Christmas. Dean went to work and Cas came with him sometimes, helping Bela with her work and whenever she had the time, organising things for the wedding. 

Sam was really pissed with Cas favouring Bela in the promotion race that had started at Singer-Winchester, frowning whenever he saw Cas come in and strut over to Bela as soon as he could. He had even come to Dean when he had talked to an important investor from the west coast, to complain.

Dean had waved him off while talking into this headset and he saw his brother stomp off with a prime bitch face.

“I have no idea what he wants,” Dean panted at Cas who had come up during lunch and they used the break as best as they could. Meaning Cas was naked and gaping and Dean was just about to thrust into him.

“And I’ll be damned if I care,” he said, and ripped his tie off his neck, knotting it carefully around Cas’ lower arms on his back.

Cas’ blinked and he blushed when he finally felt breached and started bouncing in Dean’s lap, totally lost in his desire, requiring Dean to make sure he didn’t fall off him whenever his ass smacked against Dean’s thighs.

“Fuck, so good,” Dean moaned and grabbed the back of Cas’ neck hard, while his other hand tightened on the knotted tie as Cas kept on moving.

He sat up and tightly locked himself to Cas’ body, his face coming over his shoulder in the perfect spot to see the door to the office open and his upset brother peeking in.

“Dean, I was-… Oh hell, ah… oh jeez-” the door slammed shut and they heard fast steps in the outer office.

“Didn’t we lock the door?” Dean panted, his sweaty hand still tangled in Cas’ hair.

“Obviously not,” Cas said with amusement in his voice and clenched deliciously.

“Seriously, you just wanna keep going?” Dean’s eyes crossed because Cas got him back into the mood with his muscles working him perfectly. “Anyone might walk in.”

“I don’t care, I need to get off on you,” Cas said with sweet desperation.

“Ah fuck,” Dean said when Cas bounced himself in his lap more forcefully then before, and he could see his ass slapping against his thighs again and again. “Yeah!” he shouted and pulled the knotted tie again, licking over Cas’ straining shoulder muscles as he reached a pressure point.

Cas groaned loudly and Dean moved his head, the sound of slick movements his own hand jerking Cas not enough; he had to see it, had to see Cas coming and smiled happily as he did so and white shot out of him.

“Now you,” Cas panted, his eyes glassy and tired as he worked his hips in circles for a minute which got Dean off with a shout that was way too loud for their surroundings, but he was in a frenzy and the orgasm was so spectacular that he just couldn’t keep it down.

“Holy fuck,” he rumbled once he was done. “If anyone hasn’t seen Sam’s horrified face, they sure as hell heard that.”

“It’s your mating call,” Cas snickered, flexing his arms to tell Dean to loosen the bond. He fumbled around with the knot that would dissolve the entire thing, his head a mess of sated lust so he was a little slow to react to Cas slipping out once the bond gave and looping the tie over the back of Dean’s neck.

“What?” he asked tiredly, but then Cas pulled his head up by means of the tie and moved him up to whisper at him: “Caught you, cowboy,” Dean just smirked.

“You know you catch a cow, right? Not a cowboy. Not that I am one.”

“Whatever,” Cas smiled and kissed him until Dean felt life stir back inside him, even though he was still lazily buzzing in the afterglow.

“What do you think Sam wanted?” Cas asked when he lunged for their shirts.

“Probably to complain about something. But after what he saw, I can be lucky if he talks to me without cringing in a year or so.”

Cas only smirked deviously as he buttoned Dean’s shirt back up and did his tie for him.

“I could get used to this,” Dean said with a wide cocky smirk at him.

“You can,” Cas simply stated as he pulled the knot tight.

 

Sam really had wanted to complain which he told his desk instead of his brother when Dean walked down to ask him about what he had come in before. 

“Sorry man,” Dean said when Sam’s eyes darted up for a second but were then again intently focused on the desk. “I thought we had locked the door.”

“You had,” Sam blushed. “Sarah left her keys here while she got us lunch and I let myself in. I wanted to talk to you.”

“What about?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Sam mumbled and Dean wondered if Sam was shuffling his feet like he had always done as a child. He walked around the desk and indeed saw him rubbing his shoes over the carpet.

He laid a quietening hand on his shoulder and said: “It was important enough to sneak your girlfriend’s keys and ambush me during my break. So what’s up, Sammy?”

Sam breathed deeply, his nickname rolling off Dean’s tongue seemingly loosening his own.

“I feel like an outsider to the family you’re building. And I should be ok with that, because it’s my own fault that things are as they are.”

“What are you saying?” Dean asked, confused and a little concerned because this seemed to weigh heavily on his brother.

“I’m saying that I’m not sure if I still fit into your life. Perhaps too much has happened.”

“I don’t-… uh… Sam really?” Dean stumbled over his words and tried to come up with something that could show his brother that he was very much welcomed back with them. “You know you’re my best man, right?” he came up with something. “And no matter how long you been gone, you can always come back. You’re still my brother,” he shook Sam’s shoulder awkwardly and then retreated back to the other side of the desk to let them both get their head sorted. 

Sam’s brow was furrowed and he still stared at the desk and Dean wondered if there wasn’t something else to the matter too.

“Seriously, you still not over the things that happened to you in Cali? Is that what this is about?”

“Yeah, I think so. It just seems like I can’t grasp that all this is real, y’know? I keep expecting the bang. To wake up in an empty apartment, with nobody there and the last trip crashing me so I can’t breathe. And Cas putting his head together with Bela all the time… I dunno, it triggered stuff.”

Dean stared at him in shock, but also in understanding because he had felt like this too recently, though not in such a heavy form as Sam. 

“I never knew you were still affected by all of that. You could’ve said something.”

“Would you still have trusted me to do better, to earn that promotion? Do you still think I‘m worthy of that now that you know what a freak I am?”

“Hey, watch who you’re calling freak here, Sammy,” Dean said pretend angry, but went on when Sam only gave him a tired smile. “You should find someone to talk to about that. And you should’ve told me sooner. Does Sarah know? Or Bobby?”

“No,” Sam admitted. “I don’t wanna be weak in front of them. I just wanna be normal.”

“You need some help with that. And you know I always have your back, right? Admitting you need someone isn’t weak. It’s smart. There are things you just can’t do all by yourself.”

“Yeah,” Sam said and finally met his eyes, which encouraged Dean enough to tease him a bit. 

“And while you’re looking into therapists, you can also find someone to talk to about the traumatising thing you saw when you stumbled into my office.”

“Don’t remind me,” Sam groaned, but was sufficiently distracted from his other concerns because he was busy trying to hide his face in his hands and shake his overly long hair violently.

“It’s a beautiful natural act, Sammy. Though I admit, the tie might have been a bit much.”

“Dean. Please stop,” Sam said with the face of a spiritual worshipper whose holy place had just been sullied.

“Only if you stop sneaking Sarah’s keys and you’ll talk to me when I’m not… busy being on my break,” he circumscribed it now.

“Ok,” Sam smiled and it was a sign for Dean that he was on the right track again. More so when he was absolutely fine with calling Dean calling Bela and asking her about who her numerous contacts thought was the best counsellor for recovering drug addicts.


	18. Chapter 18

“This steak is absolutely perfect,” Dean complimented the dish he was eating right now.

“I think so too,” Layla pitched in while Cas nodded on Dean’s other side.

Naomi smiled at them but when the whole room suddenly turned dark, they heard her angry cry: “Gabriel, I swear to Christ! This has to be fixed asap.”

“They connected the wrong wires again,” they promptly heard Gabriel yell at them from inside the bigger room which would be used as the storeroom.

“This can’t go on,” Naomi walked over and they heard the ruffling of a plastic plane being pulled back. “How am I supposed to cook my orders in there if we don’t even have electricity? You do know that we’re supposed to open in two weeks, right?”

“I know, I know,” Gabriel said absentmindedly. “Don’t worry, it will all be fixed.”

“But I can’t help but worry,” Naomi answered. “I really want this to be a fresh start and I don’t think I can handle the stress if there is a bug in everything.”

Dean felt Cas move next to him and shuffle the plastic out of the way as well as he joined his mother and brother.

“It’s gonna be fine,” he quieted both of them and together they went into the basement to make sure the handymen actually did their job right.

Dean didn’t envy the poor guys, shivering as the lights went back on and vowing to himself to never come on the wrong side of either of the infernal trio.

They came back in and Naomi seemed very relieved when the stove turned back on without any problems while Gabriel made her a jasmine tea to calm her down. 

“It will all work out,” Layla said with her inherent quiet conviction in her tone. “I mean, just a short while ago things didn’t look rosy for either of us, and look at us now. Healthy and safe.”

“You’re right of course,” Naomi said, sipping her tea and sitting down for minute. “Everything that’s happened recently turned out good. I think I just have to get used to the new developments.”

“What do you mean, mom?” Cas asked with a worried air.

“Well with the new business,” Naomi pointed at the construction side around them. “And… I’ve met someone I guess.”

“You met someone?” everyone asked with concern in their voices.

“Yes. I met him the follow up therapy sessions. He’s a literature professor and he’s nice.”

“Do you really think you’re up to something new?” Gabriel asked inquisitively.

“What’s his name?” Cas asked with a frown.

“Technically, I’m not supposed to tell because of the confidentiality thing between patients, but his name’s Curtis Metatron.”

“What a douchey name,” Dean rolled his eyes.

“I don’t like him,” Cas huffed. 

Gabriel frowned at the couple’s immediate reaction and then he looked back at Naomi.

“Is it even allowed if patients get involved together?”

“It’s not that kind of thing. Technically our therapy is over, it’s just follow ups to get to know people with similar life stories. He’s really good at giving comfort,” Naomi admitted in a small voice.

“Mom, I don’t want to dictate how you lead your life, but in the past you haven’t had the luckiest hand when it came to choosing partners,” Cas raised objection and Dean nodded and added: “Promise you be careful with this guy?” 

“Of course. He’ll come to the opening so you can meet him then and sniff him out like bloodhounds,” she smiled and then moved on to tell them about the deserts she had thought about doing for their wedding.

 

“I think we’ll do more than sniff this guy out,” Dean said to Cas when they were on the way home. “A literature professor named Curtis Metratron? Shouldn‘t be too hard for our favourite person who knows everyone and our favourite research geek to find out something about the guy, right?”

“Sam and Bela will roast him,” Cas said with a grim face. “If it turns out there is something to roast.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed and steered the conversation out of this thicket. “Layla has really landed back on her feet, hasn’t she?”

“Yes,” Cas agreed and snuggled close while they continued to walk home, the cold February evening creeping underneath their coats and chilling them. “So that means your favourite secretary will be coming back soon then?” he asked when Dean unlocked their door and pulled him in.

“Yeah well,” he helped Cas out of his trenchcoat with cold fingers. “Bela will work with Sarah, because the promotion is gonna get finalised this week and then Layla can take up her old position. But Mr. Novak?” Dean asked, his icy fingers snaking underneath Cas’ pullover, “you know you’re my favourite secretary, right?”

Cas blushed and keened against Dean: “I bet you say that to all your secretaries.”

“I really don’t.”

“I’ll get those files for you now then, shall I, Mr. Winchester?” Cas breath hitched when Dean was palming his cock.

“Really?” he purred and scented Cas’ neck, licking small stripes down the base of it.

Cas gulped audibly next to him but moved out of his grasp slightly, so as not to offend his boss but to stop what he had done to him.

“Yes, I’ll get right on that, Sir,” and then he walked off and up the stairs.

“Your younger Daddy is frustrating me,” Dean told the kitten who came to greet him now that Dean didn’t have his hands on Cas anymore.

Ben meowed loudly as if to agree with Dean who took him up and carried him through to the kitchen to check if there was still food and water left for the kit.

“I mean, does he wanna play hard to get or what?” Dean asked the animal which purred as he crunched on a bit of cat feed. 

The cat’s ears turned when they heard Cas come back down the stairs with a stack of white papers and something wearing of the same colour a few minutes later.

Dean gulped and scratched the cat one time before he moved and immediately stroked over Cas’ white panties and stockings, tightening his fists in the straps of his snug negligee, while Cas didn’t say one word.

“Very nice,” Dean said and just when he wanted to cup Cas through the lace again, he wriggled out of his arms and handed him the empty papers.

“Your copies, Sir.”

“Really?” Dean asked with a frustrated, devious smile, finally getting that Cas wanted to be seduced even if it should feel a tiny bit ridiculous as he strutted around in nothing but underwear.

Cas tilted his head innocently and asked: “Did I do something wrong? Is something not to your liking, Sir?”

“No everything’s fine. Including your ass, Mr. Novak,” Dean crowded in on him again, his hands sneaking around and finding Cas’ pert ass, kneading it, spreading it, his fingers moving into his crack as soon as he could. “Mighty fine ass,” Dean breathed and rubbed himself on Cas’ front.

“Sir, please. I just wanna do my job here,” Cas groaned. “Shall I make you a coffee before you return to your desk?” he tried to sound matter-of-factly, which wasn’t really convincing because Dean saw the lace span over Cas’ impressive erection, but he nevertheless went along with the game.

“No coffee at this time of night, but if you could stay for a bit longer?” he turned Cas towards him again, all the molesting boss who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and cupped him again: “I still have need of your services.”

“Sir,” Cas blushed and followed him to the desk in the studio, clutching to the empty papers as Dean sat down. “Sir, you forgot the copies.”

“Oh how dumb of me,” Dean beamed and held his hand out for them but just when Cas wanted to hand them to him, he drew his hand away quickly so all the papers sailed through the air.

“Sorry,” he muttered and got up to collect them, but Cas already went down on his knees and picked them back up so Dean had a perfect visual of him.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he mumbled and shamelessly opened his pants now, his cock too hard to appreciate confines.

“Thank you, Sir,” Cas tried to sound strictly business but his eyes widened when he caught sight of Dean jerking himself off while standing above him.

Cas moved to set the papers down on the desk for real, moaning confusedly but aroused when he felt Dean’s dick poke his butt and a firm hand pressing his neck down so he lay across the desk.

Dean pressed close, mouthing into Cas’ ear: “So absolutely gorgeous,” and trailed his fingers over Cas’ nightie while his cock rubbed over his perfect lace-clad ass.

He really grinded into him, enjoying the feel of the texture on his rigid flesh, shaking a few beads of precome onto the fabric once it pearled out of his slit and then he groped Cas again, roughly and determined. He stuck his hands into the torso piece, tweaking his nipples, pulling the back up to place biting kisses on his hipbones and rip the panties down with a rapid movement, sighing satisfied as he sank his head into Cas’ crack and began to rim him.

Cas had been quiet for a while, pretending to accept the inevitable, but now that Dean played with his hole, he couldn’t pretend to be seduced against his better judgement anymore. He spread himself, rubbing himself on the desk and pushing back onto Dean’s face as he moaned more and more brokenly while he was opened.

“You like it, don’t you Mr. Novak?” Dean asked once he had to come up for air, pumping into Cas with three steady fingers.

“Yes Sir,” Cas groaned when Dean didn’t even wait for an answer and licked into him again, first deep and with his tongue hard, then just the outside with sharp, edged licks so Cas’ hole fluttered around him as it turned dark pink and wanting.

“Gonna fuck you now,” Dean announced, hiking up Cas’ panties from where they were tangled around his ankles and pulled them up over his obscenely hard cock again. Then he dragged Cas up and turned him around, not content to fuck his ass without seeing his face tonight. “Get those pretty little legs in the air for me,” he said and Cas lifted his legs up, his toes curling next to Dean’s head as he started to thrust into him.

“You feel so good,” he panted, fucking fast and hard, because he sure as hell wasn’t gonna last with Cas looking like the ocean of sin he was right now.

“Stroke that pretty dick for me. And play with your nipples over the lace.”

Cas nodded, biting his lips as Dean bounced him on the desk with hearty thrusts and he watched him taking up his throbbing length after he had obscenely licked his palm while looking up at Dean. He jerked himself roughly, chasing his orgasm as he first brushed over his nipples, then as he felt his prostate nailed over and over he pinched them harder and his hand flew over his dick until he came with a loud shout, creaming his panties and his negligee while Dean finally came too, losing it completely as he felt Cas go around him.

 

After they were done, Dean pulled Cas up onto the couch, playing with his wet panties lazily from time to time as he thought about how happy he was and how much happier he was going to be during the next couple of weeks.

“Hey, what are we gonna do for the bachelor’s nights?”

“I wanna go out with Charlie, Bela, Sarah and because he‘ll hate it: Gabriel. To a drag show. Sing, dance and have a good time with some g-rated cocktails. Do you wanna go to a strip club?”

“It’s what you do, right?” Dean pondered. “So since you already claimed the girls and Gabe that leaves me with Sammy, Bobby and Crowley. I think Benny will come up to HQ sometime these next two weeks too, so he’ll come with us of course. Your other brothers too, if they have the time,” he tightening his grasp on Cas as he thought about spending all that time without him and sighed.   
“Can’t we just combine our parties? I’d love to see that drag show and we can find a club where everyone gets some eyecandy to look at. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t wanna look at strippers. Not if you’re not the one stripping for me.”

“Perhaps I’ll give you a lap dance when we’re in the club,” Cas said tiredly and Dean blinked.

“Seriously, you’re not gonna raise objection to that?” Dean was amazed after the plans for the wedding had progressed like they had during the last few weeks. “That’s just as unusual as the all classic rock playlist I wanted for the wedding or the cheese fountain, because everyone has a freakin’ chocolate fountain.”

“Yes, everyone has one. Because cheese fountains stink after a while,” Cas repeated what he had said when Dean had come up with the idea in the first place. “But I have no problem with putting our parties together. It’s not even a compromise as with the danceable music mixed with classic rock choice; it’s the best of both worlds. And like this we don’t have to assign our friends to just one of us.”

“So it’s actually all organised now?” Dean asked with his eyes wide open in shock. “Nothing that’s still open?”

“Nope, not now that Blondie and Bear said that they are gonna do the music. That was the last point on the agenda, as Bela said it,” Cas snickered and finally showed signs of movement again as he lifted his head and stared down at Dean with an excited smile: “I’m all set to become your husband.”

“Hell yeah,” Dean grinned. “Me too. But hey: What will I call my favourite secretary once you‘re Mr. Winchester too?”

“We‘ll figure something out,” Cas smiled and rubbed himself on Dean who felt life rise inside himself as well because of how good it all felt.


	19. Chapter 19

“So tell us,” Dean said while they walked to the festive opening of Novak Sweets & Catering.

Bela and Sam shared a quick look while they walked next to Dean, Cas, Sarah and Charlie.

“We found out that Metatron works at Columbia university, as a professor for comparative literature,” Bela stated cautiously.

Sam took over with: “We’ve found some papers of him. The guy must have read every book that was ever printed. He knows just about everything about world literature.”

“Ok, that doesn’t sound too bad,” Cas admitted gnawingly, but Dean knew his brother so well that he already sensed the ‘but’ coming before Sam even said it just from the way he creased his forehead and his eyes took on the expression of a sad puppy.

“But…” Sam started, just like Dean had thought.

“But?” Cas asked quickly.

“But,” Bela took over. “We have found no evidence that Prof. Metatron was ever in a psychiatric hospital and none of his contacts know about him even being sick or depressed. They all said he’s never sought or needed counselling of any sort. He has also never missed a semester under a translucent pretence for longer therapy. To cut a long story short, there is no reason why he should be admitted into a group of former mental patients. Unless…”

“Unless he specifically faked his records to worm into the group and find an unstable person who just tries to get back on their feet and bleed them for all they’re worth,” Dean suggested darkly. 

“And who better than Naomi Novak for someone to latch onto?” Cas asked, fuming but downcast.

“This is still not sure,” Bela tried to quiet them all. “Maybe we have missed something. Maybe Metatron is genuinely interested in your mother and we’re condemning him too soon.”

“Do you think so?” Dean asked, no hope in his tone.

Nobody answered for a while, until Charlie gave the final verdict on the Metatron front. 

“Ok, you guys will probably think I’m seriously creepy or something... But I hacked into pretty much everything that is linked to Metatron after Bela told me what she and Sam were doing. Because, as you said: You could have missed something,” she looked at the others and shook her head. “I found zilch about him actually having any business there. The only things I did find were tax evasion and premium memberships of simply gruesome porn sites. And I don’t mean gruesome as in… not my kind of thing. But illegal porn,” she kept the rest of the sentence opaque enough not to elicit mental trauma in any of them. “Look, all I’m saying is that this guy is seriously bad news, however you put it.”

“Ok,” Dean said with a steely tone to his voice. “Then let’s grill ourselves a nice professor sandwich.”

“You can be scary sometimes, y’know that?” Cas whispered to him when they came up to the big store where Gabriel had actually thrown on a candyman outfit and welcomed his guests of honour with all the excitement of a 5-year-old.

“Scary how?” Dean asked when he searched the crowd within for Naomi and her date.

“Scary as in: If you would break into my house, I’d cower in a corner until you were finished robbing me.”

“Really?” Dean asked, his eyebrow raised and a predatory smile on his face. “And what would my cute little damsel in distress do if I tied him to a chair and rimmed him until he came instead of robbing the house?”

“I’d say we’d have to try that particular scenario very very soon,” Cas purred at him.

“Can’t wait,” Dean rasped back. 

And then they kept a look out for Naomi again, soon spotting her wringing her hands next to a small hand with unruly curls who seemed friendly enough at first glance.

When they walked over he actually soothed Naomi’s anxiety with a hand on her arm and a gentle smile.

But just like Cas had told Dean he would cower in front of him, Metatron seemed to shrink when suddenly six people stood in front of him and no one looked down at him with a friendly eye.

“Hello mom,” Cas greeted Naomi and pulled her into a hug, throwing a squinty look at Metatron over her shoulder. 

Everyone greeted Naomi and complimented her on how well the store came across now that Gabriel had actually kicked all the handymen’s asses into gear to do their job properly.

“Do you really think so?” she asked, still wringing her hands and Metatron wanted to sooth her again, but Cas was faster, slinging an arm around his mother and bringing space in between her and Metatron.

“Yes, absolutely. Let’s make the rounds, ok? I bet some of the other top chefs will want to talk to you now that you’re back on the board.”

He led her off, nodding at Dean that he could start with the roasting as soon as they were gone.

Dean nodded back at him and the remaining five circled around Metatron, putting him in the middle and not giving him a way to run away. 

“So...” Dean started. “Tell us how you met Naomi.”

Metatron seemed to keep his cool as he told them an obviously fake story that matched Naomi’s own to the dot.

“So you see…” he made a dramatic pause after finishing his sob story. “I can really relate to Naomi and help her.”

“I see. And can you tell us when this happened to you? I mean it must have been a challenging experience and we were just wondering how far your recovery has progressed,” Bela said and Dean saw traces of the cold, heartless bitch steal it’s way back into her expression as she stared Metatron down.

“Oh just over a year ago, I finally got free.”

“Huh wow,” Sammy looked very impressed. “Just about the time you actually published your latest book and toured several colleges for readings and lectures based on it. Very impressive to manage all that and your… you know… full time therapy,” he ended his speech with a bitch face.

“Yeah, uh…” Metatron loosened the tie around his neck and coughed once before he smiled again. “I guess it was impressive. Just like you said, young man,” he said with his best teacher voice as if he knew far more than any of them and no one without a Ph.D. was even worth talking to.

“You understand of course that we have to be thorough,” Dean said courteous, but distinctly cold. “We don’t want Naomi to run into someone who’s just using her. Or someone who faked his medical records and tries to get at rich, lonely women for his own sake. I hope you know what I’m talking about?” he grinned.

“I uh… yes, of course. We wouldn’t want that,” Metatron again fumbled with his tie.

“Because that could seriously go wrong for someone who thinks they found someone without friends or protection,” Sarah said now, the friendly smile of a lioness stalking her prey on her face, luring before she pounded. 

“Or without people who have the skills to make said person’s life a living hell,” Charlie flexed her fingers as if she was just about to transfer all of Metatron’s money to animal welfare via online banking.

“Or you know,” Dean said and his lip tilted up on just the one side, “report them for the stuff they have left as a trail of themselves all over the net. We would go through great lengths,” he emphasised the last word, “to protect Naomi.”

He looked at the others nodding, and the mood was suddenly less threatening as he clapped Metatron’s shoulder who flinched violently. “Glad we’re on the same page then,” he grinned. “If you’ll excuse us now, we need to greet the others too.”

When they walked off, he fistbumped Bela and Charlie inconspicuously and smiled at Sam and Sarah.

By the end of the opening night, Gabriel was up the best earnings that any of his store openings had ever brought in, Naomi was up enough orders to last her all year and also up with plans to expand her business, and all of them were down one Metatron who couldn’t be found anywhere the entire rest of the evening.

 

“Man we were freaking velvety smooth tonight,” Dean still grinned when they got home and Cas’ dangly bits were right in his face.

“Yes we were, but can you please go back to eating me out now?” Cas bit the pillow in frustration because Dean had brought him close to the edge with his tongue only to pull out and bring their little scheme up again in a moment were Cas really wanted to hear nothing but slurps and feel nothing but licks inside him.

“Oh sorry,” Dean said as if he wasn’t aware of his teasing and licked back into Cas, who moaned happily and took up his cock to jerk himself, still so deliciously close, but then Dean retracted his tongue again.

“You’re also very smooth,” he complimented Cas and touched him featherlight, not producing any friction and left him desperate to come.

“Damn it, Dean!” Cas whined and shoved his hips up so that he really presented his ass to him.

“Feeling bratty today?” Dean smiled and licked teasing little stripes up Cas’ hole.

“Very,” Cas hummed grouchily, wriggling himself in front of him shamelessly.

Dean chuckled lowly and finally gave him what he wanted, pushing two fingers into Cas and licking over him softly, bringing him to the brink again, this time not pulling out as Cas started clenching and moaning but only licking deeper and massaging his prostate until he felt Cas clench down around his fingers and tongue in orgasm.

“We and our squad,” Dean grinned as he was turned him on his back and crossed his arms behind his back as he saw Cas’ lips closing around his cock. “Hey, we were like the Suicide Squad, actually. Though I like the League better. And not even talking about the Avengers...”

“Dean,” Cas said irritated. “I am giving you a blowjob, could you kindly not talk about comics right now? I‘d gladly play who is who on our taskforce once you‘ve come down my throat, ok?”

“I love how matter of fact you are about that,” Dean chuckled and relaxed as Cas took him back in his mouth and twirled his tongue around his cock viciously for not giving him his full attention.

Cas looked up and swallowed around him obscenely so that his tongue really pressed into his length. Then he let him slip out, continuously jerking him: “Say you’re sorry about neglecting me.”

“I didn’t,” Dean said with an incredulous smile. “I didn't neglect you. I gave you a spectacular orgasm just now.”

“Hardly worth mentioning,” Cas rumbled and squeezed the head of Dean’s cock until his eyes crossed and his hips thrusted up involuntarily. “Ah, now I have your full attention. Will you say sorry now?”

Cas stuck his tongue out, pointing it at Dean, but just when he felt a prickling to give Cas a spanking, he pointed the tongue into the slit of his cock with hard little licks.

“Say sorry,” he lisped with his tongue still out, and Dean seriously felt the need to do some infantilism scenario with him soon and ask him to keep lisping even as he pounded his wonderful body.

The thought brought him close even with as insufficient friction as Cas gave him right now, that he keened, wanting to push into Cas’ mouth but he felt his hips stilled and a squinty Cas looking up at him.

“Ok, ok. I’m so sorry, baby. Please just keep doing what you’re doing and I promise to not take my eyes off you or even think about something that’s not you.”

“Better,” Cas smiled and mercifully took him deep into his mouth again. He was in such a gracious mood that he actually played with Dean’s balls, keeping his eyes on him to make sure Dean didn’t look away from him until he came with a loud shout right onto his tongue.

“So demanding, baby. I love it,” Dean praised him as Cas climbed him to get a kiss for his good job.

“Yes,” Cas said with a little huff. “My prince should pay attention to me at all times,” he sighed with content and finally smiled again.

“And I will,” Dean promised faithfully. “Unless you’re being a brat again,” he chuckled darkly and smacked both Cas’ cheeks lightly.

Cas stared at him with an indignant expression: “Why are you doing this instead of bringing me my peeling grapes like I asked for three times already?”

“Careful, baby. I might still spank you now if you keep this up.”

“Not tonight,” Cas sighed again, bedding his head on Dean’s chest. “I’d rather be treasured by you for a little while longer.”

“Then climb up in here,” Dean curled his arm around Cas’ body and they cuddled for a long while before they turned out the lights for the night, not being able to decide if Dean was more Iron Man or Cap, but being absolutely certain that Charlie was the ninja-like Widow of their team who always saved the day, or the recovering mothers with her hacking skills.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning, Dean woke up to an empty bed. He stumbled out of it immediately, calling Cas and tapping down the stairs, completely naked and with tousled hair as he was, to find the door to the basement open and a panic, he didn't want to admit to still feeling ebbing away in his chest.

“Cas?” he called out, and then closed his mouth in pleased shock.

Cas wore white high heels and another corset which Dean hadn’t seen on him yet.

“Wow,” he said, waking up more effectively than from downing several espressos and from the fright that the empty bed gave him.

Cas blushed at being caught: “I wanted to let you sleep in,” he mumbled.

“Fat chance of that if the other side of the bed is cold and Cas-less,” Dean asked and came over, his dick waking up too as he touched the lace and trimmings on the corset Cas was wearing.

“What’s this?”

“Just something I bought for our honeymoon. But now that you’ve already seen it, I’m not gonna take it anymore.”

“But it’s nice, I’d still like it in a week,” Dean’s hands stroked up and down on the intricate material and he wondered why he had to look up into Cas’ face, but then he remembered the shoes he was wearing right now.

“Are you gonna dumb those wonderful tortuous shoes too?” he urged against Cas until he sat down on the bed and Dean could comfortably lift his leg up and stoke over it.

“No, I won’t. I have to wear them in, in case I decide to go with the full dress look on the day,” Cas smiled, still not telling Dean if he would actually pull off the dress in the end.

“Well, if you decide to do it, we’ll have to change the dress a bit because your ass looks just too sexy when you’re wearing heels. I don’t wanna pop a boner when I see your back,” he massaged Cas’ calves now, before he threw them over his shoulders and leaned in for kisses and perhaps more when Cas only shoved him off with a smile and got on his feet again, walking over to the wall and presenting his ass, shifting from one foot to the other.

“Baby,” Dean bit out, hard and proud and palming Cas as soon as he was close enough. “It’s like you’re wearing a jockstrap and still prop yourself open. So perfect and hot just for me.”

“Yeah, but my feet are already killing me and I’ve only worn them for a few minutes.”

“It’s not a sexy ache for you?” Dean wanted to be certain that it wasn’t like spanking or slight burns from restrains and what they did to Cas.

He shook his head and shifted again, showing him that he was uncomfortable.

“Then let’s get these off,” Dean said and escorted Cas back to the bed, where he slowly pulled the shoes off and massaged his aching feet with his thumbs really digging into the soles.

“It’s better,” Cas nodded, wetting his lips as he looked up at Dean.

“Perfect,” he smiled and pulled him back up, making him hop onto him and carried him over into the bathroom for a shower.

“I love undressing you, particularly when you’re wearing something that makes it hard for me.”

“Makes what hard?” Cas asked sassily. “Your dick or getting me naked?”

“Same difference,” Dean mumbled, reverent in the face of the person he loved most in this world. “I just love everything about you. How you are and everything you like to put on; clothes or any act.”

“What’s gotten into you?” Cas smiled as the corset finally fell and Dean let him get down from his hips and he watched him from over his shoulder as he got into the shower.

“Shut up,” Dean blushed. “I’m a man about to get married, I’m allowed to be sentimental about it.”

“Isn’t the day of the bachelor’s party the last time to see someone else naked for the rest of your life?”

“I told you, it’s not what I want. The person I want is naked in front of me right now,” he said when he finally entered the cubicle too and admired Cas in all his naked glory. “And I can actually touch him.”

Cas came close immediately, heat pooling between their bodies and they humped together softly until their bodies were wet enough to make the slide nice and easy. Dean felt Cas guide his hands onto his ass and he moaned loudly as he noticed how Cas was clenching as he rubbed himself off on him.

“Work that ass while you use me, baby,” he praised and felt himself pulse excitedly as Cas humped him so that both of them got enough friction to get off.

“Woah,” Dean said once they were done and they tried to wash themselves, their legs wobbly and their nervous systems buzzing from sensory overkill.

“I’m guessing that is how you want to express: ‘Thanks for the orgasm, dude. Now I can’t wait to look at naked chicks and dudes,” Cas asked, and it should have been hilarious how he imitated Dean’s voice, but his wide eyes and open expression betrayed him needing reassurance right now.

“Nope, not what I meant with that ‘woah’,” Dean towelled Cas off very carefully as if he was afraid to break the younger man. “I meant: ’Woah, my baby is perfect and I can’t wait to see him walking down the aisle towards me’.”

Cas blushed happily, shuffling his feet, even when Dean really wrapped him in the towel and rubbed his back.

“Aren’t you cold?” Cas whispered when Dean still rubbed him dry, drops of water still dripping everywhere off him.

“Just a bit,” Dean admitted and Cas locked their eyes, took the towel off his own body and slowly and distinctly put it around Dean, rubbing every inch of him until Dean felt warm and cared for, also a bit studied when Cas kissed drops of water off his face and afterwards looked at him again.

“You’re everything,” he said simply and laid his still wet head onto Dean’s shoulder, his arms sneaking around him as he sighed out his happiness at finding the perfect partner he had ever dreamed off. Dean gave him everything; the sex he needed, the adoration he needed, the freedom to be everything he wanted to be as long as Dean only loved him.

Dean’s arms came up around Cas, being just as happy as him. Finally coming to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t end up alone even if he might have found someone to share his life with. If the emotions that coursed through his being wouldn’t have awoken when he met Cas, he would have continued to be lonely the entire rest of his life. He’d never loved another, and he never would. Cas had come into his life like a whirlwind, showing him things about himself that had been hidden, or had simply not existed before and he knew how lucky he was to have found the still not of drinking age, kinky twink in his arms that was also his best friend and the best man he had ever met.

“Not a bad place to start a marriage from, wouldn’t you say babe?” Dean asked and even though they couldn‘t hear each other‘s thoughts, their sheer endless hug spoke loudly of them.

“Not a bad place at all,” Cas rumbled and another happy sigh tickled Dean’s chest where Cas’ head still rested. 

 

As quietly and intimately as their day had begun, as loudly and as drunkenly it would probably carry on in the evening for the majority of them.

Cas made an exception for himself tonight, because nobody but him really minded that they booked tables in clubs that served alcohol and were also pretty lax on controlling the patron’s age. They had specifically chosen them but still, as they were waiting in line to get into the drag club with all their friends around them, Cas shifted nervously next to Dean.

“Relax, babe. It’ll be alright. And can I just say that your ass looks downright fuckable in those goddamn leather pants? Drives me fucking crazy.”

“Don’t try to distract me, Dean,” Cas shook his head, but didn’t object to Dean turning him around, seemingly to make him face their friends and family behind them, but also so they didn’t notice Dean rubbing himself on his rear.

His arms sneaked around him and he continued to whisper: “You’re sex on legs, baby. Just give the bouncer a really dirty look and he’ll know how perverted you are. Someone who’s as dirty-minded as you is definitely over 21. Just believe in it,” Dean purred until Benny spoke up: “I really don’t mind the free show, but can we contain the gay until we’re actually inside and are surrounded by even more gay and booze?”

Everyone laughed, even Michael and Lucian cracked a bit of a smile, though they didn’t seem to be absolutely comfortable with standing in line at a drag club.

Dean let go of Cas now that they moved closer to the entrance and the second Dean was gone from his backside, he looked scared again.

Dean rolled his eyes and smirked as he slapped Cas’ butt right when they came up to the bouncer.

He saw the slight frown on the burly man’s face disappear as soon as Dean had smacked the perfect globes in front of him and he waved Cas through without batting an eye.

“See, easier than taking a lolli from a baby," Dean sneaked up behind Cas to whisper again: "By the way, I have to describe your face to you before you turn around. Your pupil’s are blown, you’re biting your lips and your skin is a bit more taut over your cheekbones to make them stick out more because there is a strain in your neck muscles. Now turn around for me, baby.”

Cas did as he was asked and Dean smirked: “100 points and a blowjob to me.”

Cas titled his head, and asked: “How did you know that?”

“Because that’s your: ‘Fuck me I’m so horny make me scream and spank me more’ face,” Dean rasped and drew Cas in, smacking his perfect cheeks once more so that the leather on his butt gave an enthusiastic sound. “There it is again. God, you’re so sexy,” Dean gasped and licked Cas’ bottom lip before he bent his neck so that he opened up and the could really kiss him hard.

“Woah, brother. I know I said wait until we’re inside, but I don’t think the club has a license for live sex.”

They surfaced from their lusting trance when they heard Benny’s voice and saw almost all of them assembled around them.

“Where is Sammy?” 

“He’s still outside. He has to search my bag for his ID card,” Sarah nearly toppled over with laughter until Sam came in, wearing the world’s biggest bitchface and he giving Cas the stink eye.

“How did you get in here without having to flash-”

“That’s because no one sees him flash who isn’t me,” Dean gave back immediately before Sam could add: “your ID,” and Sam’s bitchface parted into a very much not amused smile for a second before the absolutely done expression was back in place.

“Not what I meant, Dean,” he fumed.

“It was right there. I had to go for it, Sammy,” Dean slapped his shoulder and still chuckled to himself.

“Welcome, welcome,” a drag queen dressed as Marilyn Monroe came at them and put a plastic flower crown around Cas’ head.

“You’re our special Queen tonight, love. And everyone you brought with you gets a necklace so you’re all Queens tonight.”

“Thank you,” Cas chuckled and Dean let the garland be hung onto him without pulling a face, which he could only do because he loved Cas so much.

His older brothers didn’t really seem to share this deep affection, at least it wasn’t deep enough that Lucian and Michael didn’t pluck at the flowers around their necks and Lucian actually frowned: “I’m not a Queen. How can I be? I’m male.”

“Yeah, I know you are a great big bag of dicks, bro,” Gabriel slapped his back and Michael’s alongside because he too didn’t look happy with his decoration for the night. “But as the lovely Norma Jean just said: We’re all Queens tonight, so get the sticks out of your butt and have some fun. Look, over there. Dance with the nice Lady Gaga, Luci. And Mikey, you do over to Pocahontas. Don’t make me tell you twice.”

Gabriel slid into their wide booth once the older brothers had been ordered to have some fun before they were allowed to return and smilingly he turned to Cas.

“Perfect idea, lil bro.”

“Do you think so?” Cas asked him, a bit nervous when his eldest brothers still looked indignant, even while gently forced to shake their hips.

“Hells yeah! This evening is gonna be amazing,” he nudged Cas happily and then flirtingly ordered the sweetest cocktail the place served from Marilyn who was gonna be their personal waitress for the night.

Charlie leaned over to Dean and Cas, whispering: “10 bucks says your brother will give her his number.”

Dean shook his head: “I say they’re going home together.”

“You two are awful,” Cas whispered. “He wouldn’t do that.”

“Well, if he wouldn’t do it, then you can bet on it, right?” Charlie smirked.

“You’re on,” Cas gave back and Dean nodded.

“This is gonna be an amazing night,” Gabriel repeated while he winked at Marilyn who visibly blushed even underneath of all the stage make up and Charlie and Dean winked at each other that Cas was so gonna lose this one.


	21. Chapter 21

After an hour, everyone was a bit buzzed already as the actual show started.

Most of the colourful performers were on stage and Dean saw Cas hopping along with the movements until he grinned happily and pulled him out of the booth.

The performers pulled Cas on stage then and all of them cheered when they accepted him in their circle immediately. He picked up on the choreography pretty quickly and he looked so happy that Dean thought that he’d have to attend a dancing class with him soon. And he chuckled when he thought about the fact that in Cas’ case, dancing inevitably would mean loads of tutus. Dean would be more than fine with that.

“Did you see me?” Cas beamed when he was back in his arms.

“Sure did, baby. You were awesome,” he grinned and held on tightly. “But don’t abandon me for the circuit and all the pretty Queens here.”

“As if I would,” Cas rolled his eyes and they walked back to their table, where everyone applauded him and he looked a bit uncomfortable with all the attention, but mostly happy.

“Has anyone seen my brothers?” he asked when he couldn’t see them at the table.

“Yes, Gabriel is at the bar and the others have not returned yet, but we’ve seen them twirling around,” Sarah said and everyone giggled a bit at Cas’ dignified older brothers dancing the night away.

“Let’s collect them and move on,” Dean said and searched for them. “Ah, I see Gabriel. Charlie could you come along?” he said because Gabriel was still trying to charm the pants, or rather the dress off Marilyn.

Charlie nodded and they got over just in time to hear Gabriel ask for her number and she wrote it onto a card she pulled out of her impressive fake bosom.

“Pay up,” Charlie grinned and held her hands out to both of them. Cas paid with a disgruntled face, but Dean shook his head.

“I might still win this.”

And just in this moment, Gabriel said: “What time do you get off, my doll?”

“At three,” was the blushing reply.

“We’ll go to another club after this, but I’ll give you a call then. Can’t have a lady like you walking home all by herself,” Gabriel cooed and Dean held out a triumphant hand to Charlie in his back.

She handed over the note she just got from Cas and slapped Gabriel on his back harder than necessary to inform him that they would move on now.

“Let’s just hope loverboy keeps his head in the game once we’re surrounded by strippers,” Dean chuckled nervously, really hoping to win that bet in the end.

“He will,” Cas said next to him as they led their troop on to the next club. “By the way, I may need your assistance again. To look like I’m thinking dirty thoughts.”

“Oh right. Nothing easier,” Dean said and when they were in line for the next club, he rubbed himself all over his backside, admiring the confident way Cas looked back at him once they were past the bouncer.

“Who knew you could learn confidence through sex,” Cas shook his head, unbelieving that it had done the trick again.

“It works though. If you know what you want in bed, you carry that out into the world as well,” Dean nodded and they both had to hide a smile when Sam was again the last one to come in because he had to show his ID again.

“As I say, it’s all about confidence,” Dean sighed because that’s exactly what his brother lacked. Sam going out to clubs where people in the corners could be consuming had turned him in to an awkward guilty puppy who looked like he had no right to be here and so naturally he was gonna be sought out for ID checks.

“Go to him,” Cas whispered into his ear when he noticed that Dean was concerned about his brother. “I’ll give you a lapdance when you’re back.”

“Baby,” Dean bit out, wearing a big and hungry smile. “You’re gonna put this place out of business if you do that.”

“You mean _when_ , not if. You’ve been rubbing yourself on me on and off throughout the evening. It’s my turn to make you crazy.”

Dean kissed Cas then and by the time they let go, not only Benny shuffled around awkwardly but Michael and Lucian too, who had been so reluctant to have some fun at first and now were a bit pissed of not having as much of it as in the first club anymore.

“I’ll be back, ok,” Dean whispered and let Cas guide the others to a table while he led Sammy off towards the bar on which a guy and a girl were taking their clothes off seductively.

“Dude, focus!” Dean nudged Sam as his eyes darted from one to the other and he totally ignored the bartender who wanted to take their orders.

Dean gave him a bit of time to adjust while he put out an order for their table and two beers for them right here.

“Sammy, you’re stalling,” he stated when he drank a sip.

“Yeah, shit. I didn’t think you’d notice. Sorry, I don’t wanna spoil your evening,” Sam babbled on immediately, peeling at the label of his own beer.

“Consider it not spoiled,” Dean shrugged. “And how could you think I’d not notice? There‘s nothing about you that I don‘t know. But now I gotta ask, Sammy. What‘d you think was gonna happen tonight? You still afraid to fall off the rails again?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sam peeled at his label with more concentration now. “It’s just taking small steps at a time and this is the first time I’ve been out like this since I got clean.”

“So you’re jonesing for anything?”

“No!” Sam said quickly.

“Then what’s the problem, dude?”

“I have to learn to go everywhere while clean, that’s all. Go to work clean. Go to clubs clean. Meet friends and family clean.”

“I get it,” Dean clapped his brother’s back.

“I don’t think you do. Not completely. You’re not in my shoes. You’ve got your perfect life, and the perfect person for you who gets a confidence boost when you’re only around him. While I on the other hand am struggling to make it work because I have all that too and it feels too big. My life is normal again, and very good too. But sometimes it’s hard to be normal, y’know?”

“I get it,” Dean said again. “How’s therapy by the way?”

“Can’t say it’s good to have my head cracked open and everything pulled out into the light, but it helps. I got the thing with the steps from there actually.”

“That’s good.”

After that they downed their beers in silence before they rejoined the others.

 

Sam lived up the rest of the evening, though Sarah sometimes slapped him whenever he stared into the distance for too long and she thought he was only paying attention to the strippers until he whispered the truth in her ear.

Charlie and Bela were a little pissed about a few (mostly male) customers wanting them to come to their table, but after a dance that had had even Cas blush because it was so obvious that they were into each other, nobody approached them anymore.

Everyone had a good time and Dean was very comfortable with slinging an arm around Cas who got giggly after half a peachy coloured cocktail and whose head drooped onto his shoulder. He had drunken more than he ever had tonight and the sugary cocktail in the end had been too much.

“Hello Dean,” he marvelled up at him from his relaxed position.

“Are you drunk?”

“Psssht! Don’t tell anyone,” Cas whispered scandalised and snuggled even closer.

“Yeah you are,” Dean laughed offhandedly and caught Gabriel’s eye next to him who gave him an approving nod same as Benny when _he_ caught Dean‘s eye, happy that everything had turned out as it had. Dean shivered to remember how he had been when he stayed with Benny and Cas raised his head in confusion.

“Why is my pillow moving?” he grumbled.

“Sorry,” Dean raised his hand and stroked Cas’ cheek. “You can lie back down.”

“No, no. I promised to… y’know…”

“I know, but maybe it's better to wait with that ‘til we’re home and your head’s not swimming anymore.”

“ ‘k,” Cas agreed and laid back down until his head cleared a bit while Dean talked with Gabriel and Benny about work things.

 

He woke Cas up when Gabriel said goodbye to get to his date with Marilyn and Charlie grumbled because Dean had won the bet in the end after all.

Cas chuckled now that he wasn’t the only one who had lost, and one by one the others got on their way home too until Dean and Cas were the last ones left to drag themselves home.

“I swear my feet are made of brick,” Dean mumbled tiredly and buzzed.

“And I’m cold,” Cas complained, his leather pants feeling cold to the touch even when Dean tugged him near to warm him.

“Let’s get home and sleep it off,” Dean yawned while they tumbled through the streets.

It seemed like a miracle to them when they finally reached their house and went straight to bed.

“Don’t you be getting any ideas, Winchester,” Cas mumbled into the pillow when Dean helped him out of his torturous pants.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dean yawned again, hugging Cas from around his back, giving him his own warmth and then passing out with: “After we slept though…”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible triggers in this chapter for discussion about death and terminal illnesses. Don't worry though, it's just talk.   
> If you want to skip that, read on after the paragraph break.

Cas was the first to wake up in the morning and he groaned so loudly that Dean awoke too.

“Headache?” he muttered into the pillow, his mouth dry and a nasty taste in it.

“Understatement,” Cas’ voice came very muffled through his hands on his face to shut out the morning.

Dean tried to remove his hands, but when Cas opened his eyes and saw the light, he scrunched his eyes shut again immediately.

“Make it go away,” he rumbled and turned around, pulling Dean along until he practically hung over his back.

“The light? I don’t think I can do that,” he chuckled and nuzzled against Cas’ shoulder.

“Then learn how,” Cas grumbled again and pulled Dean’s arm over his eyes to shut the offending brightness out.

“Let me get up at least and get you some aspirin.”

“You should do that,” Cas said sourly. “As a punishment for you not being hungover.”

“It’s not a punishment, babe. I like to do it.”

Dean walked over into the bathroom and fumbled around in the medicine cabinet for a while, thankfully finding an almost full bottle of aspirin.

“How do people do their bachelor’s party the night before the wedding?” Cas asked, his face a mask of pain when Dean came back into the bedroom.

“Search me. Drink up.”

Cas obeyed with his eyes still closed and Dean held a glass to his lips so he only had to swallow the medicine.

After he downed it he laid back down, his eyes still painfully closed as he started talking again: “We still gonna confirm everything for the rehearsal dinner and you still haven’t told me for which weather I am to pack my honeymoon clothes.”

“Shh,” Dean quieted him with a finger on his lips. “We’ll do all that once you’re ok again.”

“It’s like nails being hammered into my skull,” Cas told him and pulled Dean close again. “I require to be cuddled until I’m better.”

“Nothin’ easier than that,” Dean answered him and they were so lazy the following hours that they dosed in an out of sleep until their stomachs made their existence known by loud sounds and Ben tapped into the room with equally loud noises at the punishable offence of not being fed yet.

Dean got up, took care of the kitten, and by the time Cas had lumbered down, with his head a mess of tangled dark strands, he had started on breakfast.

Cas came over, sniffed the air but visibly gulped at the smell of scrambled eggs in the pan. He shook his head apologetically and walked over to the table onto which he laid his head and watched Dean as he finished making an almost midday breakfast.

“How do people drink again after getting their first hangover?” 

“I don’t know. Guess you forget how bad it really gets after a while.”

“I’ll never drink again. At least not like this.”

“The trick is to know your limit,” Dean shared a piece of wisdom that Bobby had let him know when he was of legal age. “A bit of booze is fun, but don’t overdo it.”

“Otherwise you’ll end up like Zachariah, or your dad.”

Dean started when he came over with two forks and a plate full of eggs. 

“I think it’s best not to mention those two in the same breath,” Dean said after a minute of contemplation.

“Sorry,” Cas apologised immediately, stroking Dean’s arm to tell him that he was very sorry for bringing that up.

“It’s ok, though. He liked his drink, you’re right about that,” Dean shrugged, but suddenly he looked like he had the hangover.

“Still, I shouldn’t have brought it up. That was very low of me.”

“Babe, no. There are no taboo topics between us. I guess I just haven’t thought about him ever since I told you about him. You remember? Our first date in this house? That was the last time I actively thought of dad.”

“Are you ok?” Cas asked, when Dean laid his fork down and crossed his arms on his chest.

“Not so much. It just hit me. He won’t be there on the day. I won’t see his face in the first row.”

Cas sat there in silence for a minute, then he carefully pulled Dean’s hands out of his grip around his own chest and held them.

“We’ll think about him, ok? If we both think of him at the same time it will almost be as if he’s there.”

Dean nodded but he still looked unhappy, even when Cas started eating to please him and the eggs actually made him feel a little bit less queasy.

After a few minutes, Cas spoke up again in the silence that had only been broken by Ben crunching his food.

“There is more, isn’t there?”

Dean nodded without finding the words, or rather knowing too well what was going through his mind until he couldn’t hold it in anymore and it burst out: “What if I turn into him? He was a weak man and he could never take proper care of anyone, least of all himself after what happened to mom. I mean, he waited six months until he went to the doctor with his stupid stomach pain. By then the tumours had grown everywhere, also places where they couldn’t operate. He was a selfish bastard, a crap father and he left too damn soon.”

“Too soon to get better as a person, you mean?”

Cas got up from his chair and climbed onto Dean’s lap, facing him.

Dean couldn’t look at him, just clutched him tightly, his voice muffled in Cas’ shirt: “What if I turn into him?” he asked again.

“You won’t,” Cas said with absolute conviction.

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because you supplied what he lacked even when you were a small boy. You took care of Sam, you took care of him and you are definitely not weak. From what you’ve told me, I gather that your father never accepted any help, he was a lone wolf. That doesn’t sound like you at all. And wasn’t it you who urged Layla to get to every of her follow up treatments even after the first time she had cancer? You will take care of yourself the same way. And I will too.”

“But what if what dad had is genetic? Y’know, could be…”

“If it is, we’ll be extra careful with you and we’ll deal with everything that’s coming.”

“And what if you know… I get it… and don’t pull through. Could happen…,” Dean said, his voice small and his hands claws that dug into Cas’ skin to ground him.

“Then we’ll deal with that too. I won’t be mad if you go first, you know? Would you be mad at me if I did?”

“No, god no. I would honour-” Dean swallowed heavily, feeling a rush of pain course through him at even thinking about this. “Can we not talk about this?”

“I think we’ve said enough,” Cas nodded. “But the fact remains,” he dissolved Dean’s bruising hold on him and tangled their fingers together: “You’re not like your father and whatever happens, I will always love you.”

“I promise to always love you as well,” Dean answered.

 

Both needed a couple of minutes to deal with the unexpectedly heavy conversation but when Cas felt Dean’s hands more exploring than holding on, he smiled down at him, still sitting in his lap.

“I still owe you a dance,” he said, wriggling himself to make sure Dean understood what kind of dance he meant. “You pick what I wear.”

“Hmm baby,” Dean hummed when Cas grinded himself against him particularly delicious. “Your black mini skirt, definitely stockings and anything that’s almost see-through on top. Put a plug in too.”

Dean got into the living room and waited patiently until Cas would be ready for his little show, he reminded himself to not flinch or hide his face in his palm about whatever song Cas would choose, no matter how awkward it would be. If he let the awkwardness show, Cas would feel it too and he really didn’t want that. Dean knew that most songs that were sexy in theory didn’t come across as such if both the participants didn’t keep their head in the game. He thought about how much you had to trust a person to put yourself out there like this for them just when Cas came back in and he got too excited to even think about the possibility that this wasn‘t gonna be good.

Cas put in a CD, actually blushed when he strutted over to the stair Dean sat on, his outfit being downright sinful with a with a very tight blouse which moved up whenever he stretched to reveal the jut of his hipbones over his snugly sitting skirt. 

Dean’s mouth watered when he saw Cas’ already growing bulge, imagining how he had fingered himself open with the skirt hitching up over his ass as he worked and moaned around his fingers.

But then he asked himself why Cas would possibly put the skirt on while he did that and not only afterwards, but while his gaze wandered lower onto Cas’ toned calves in black stockings, he lost his train of thought completely.

“Stop gawking, or I will find another customer to dance for,” Cas huffed, the little act helping him to find confidence as he picked up the remote of the CD player and Dean heard the first notes of ‘Can’t stop loving you’ by Van Halen being played.

He groaned, not because the song was in any way awkward, but because it was nothing short of perfect. 

He watched as Cas came towards him seductively and then climbed onto his lap, squatting Dean’s hands off which wanted to wander onto his hips immediately.

Cas swayed on him as the lyrics started, keeping a safe distance from Dean’s greedy hands and crotch, holding onto the back of the chair, smiling a little as he mouthed the words: “I can’t stop loving you,” before he got lower, grazing Dean whenever he moved. His mouth opened seductively and his teeth worried his bottom lips when he had actual contact with him.

He rubbed up and down, his ass twerking as he moved and his arms framing Dean’s sides. Dean couldn’t hold off from touching him anymore, his fingers trailing down Cas’ arms, reaching his torso to open the buttons of the blouse, but Cas got up with a devious smile, putting his foot up next to Dean’s upper legs on the seat, thrusting his whole body into his rhythmic swaying, so Dean saw the skirt hitching up for real now.

Cas danced around the chair once, presented his backside to Dean and moved against his erection again before he got his foot up again, letting it explore Dean’s crotch a little and his eyes flared up with lust when the sensitive soles of his feet felt Dean’s hard cock too.

He didn’t want to tease anymore, only fully sat on Dean now, moving in circles, his back bending as he leaned far back, knowing that Dean’s hands on his lower back steadied him. When Dean laid his hands on Cas next, he didn’t object anymore, only coming up and moving closer again while he really laid into him now, bracing himself as he hopped up and down.

None of them minded when the song came on again while Dean really exposed Cas’ ass now, finding a jockstrap there which he pulled taught so Cas’ breath hitched.

“So good, making all those sexy moves with your perfect little hole all ready,” Dean complemented him as Cas slowed for a bit when Dean fumbled the base of the plug out.

Cas gave him a heated look, and reached into his skirt. Dean’s eyes were nearly falling out of his head when he pulled a small packet of lube out of his jockstrap, freeing Dean’s cock and working it even as he continued to move in time with the beat.

Dean groaned loudly as Cas guided himself down onto his cock and then guided Dean’s mouth onto the fabric of his blouse for him to suck his nipples through it.

By the time his nipples were bright pink and shiny through the wet blouse, Cas had started bouncing in Dean’s lap, singing, or more like moaning, along to the lyrics now: “Hold on, I’m holding on. Baby, just come on, come on, come on. I just wanna hear you say-”

“-I can’t stop loving you,” Dean answered in a pant and thrusted up into Cas’ tight heat around him, one hand gliding over the lace on Cas’ legs and his other pulling the jockstrap tight so Cas had enough friction too.

Both of them came before the song was over for the third time, Cas bouncing in Dean’s lap like a rag doll as he fucked himself on his cock hard and edged. 

Dean held on, pulling and smacking Cas from time to time as they raced themselves to an almighty climax.

Once he could think again, he just had to ask: “Did you wear the skirt when you fingered yourself?”

“You’d like for me to say yes, don’t you?”

“Hell yeah, the visual would carry me into next year. You did, didn’t you?”

Cas only nodded and Dean groaned happily as he played with the hem of Cas’ skirt, pulling it up and down on his firm butt.

“I love how unashamed we are. And how good it makes us feel. I was a little worried that you’d pick a rap song or something and I might have laughed about that.”

“I would have too, we’d have laughed and then tumbled around the room.”

“We would’ve. But I’m amazed at how we manage to make everything into something good. Your dance was perfect, Cas. You are perfect for me.”

“And you for me,” Cas answered with a smile and held on for another perfect long moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song is stuck in my head now, probably for the rest of the week alongside with what happened here. ;)


	23. Chapter 23

A few days later, when the wedding nerves had already hit both of them, Dean and Cas had their joint exhibition which of course added to their nervousness even more.

“Babe can you help me get those stupid buttons closed?” Dean asked when he came back from his last work day before the wedding holiday he was gonna be taking.

“Why are you putting on a dress shirt at all?” Cas came over, wearing a long sleeved henley he had stolen from Dean ages ago.

“Because I want to look professional,” Dean said, watching Cas as he did his buttons up for him. “I used to hate this look on me, when I first started having to wear it for work. But by now it’s like-”

“Armour?” Cas suggested, adjusting Dean’s collar and letting his hands rest on his chest when he was done.

“Yeah kinda,” Dean agreed, his hands on both sides of Cas’ waist, guiding him close.

Cas smiled a bit, indulging him and preening at Dean’s undivided focus on him.

“I’m a bit nervous,” Dean admitted. “It’s my first exhibition since that mandatory one.”

“Of course you are. But you have faith in me, right?”

Dean nodded.

“Then you can hold on to that, because I have a part in this as well. I’m in this with you.”

“I know,” Dean smiled softly and pulled Cas even closer, mumbling: “Can you believe that we are so lucky?”

“We deserve to be. There is too much that we have no influence on,” Cas thought about the parents that had gone too soon, in Dean’s case both of them, about what he and his own mother had been through and about their fathers. He didn’t want to dwell on this anymore, so he shook himself and finished with: “We write our story ourselves.”

“Yeah, we make it up as we go,” Dean agreed and untangled them now. “And so far, we’re pretty damn awesome at it. Ready to go?”

Cas nodded and they put on jackets and left for Balthazar’s gallery once more.

 

As it turned out there was no cause for nervousness at all. Everyone admired their work, some could even pinpoint which photos had been taken by Dean and which by Cas because their perspectives were a different; it was very apparent through the way Balthazar had arranged the exhibits in a way that it seemed that each Dean photo had it’s equal in a Cas photo.

“We’ve not even realised that, have we?” Dean asked Cas as they saw a similar scene photographed from the left in Dean’s case and on the other side hung one taken from the right by Cas.

“We’re so in tune that we don’t even notice it anymore,” Cas agreed when Balthazar came over to tell them that everybody who had purchased something had bought it in the sets he had hung them, but that he wanted permission to have the exhibition in here for at least three months before he let people collect the things they wanted.

“Yes,” they agreed even though Cas felt Dean’s hand tremble in his own at being so successful in something he had abandoned for a long while.

After this, Dean was able to relax a little as everyone moved over to Cas’ oil painting collection. Everyone wanted him to explain what had triggered some of the darker paintings, but as a true artist he asked back what people saw in them. After a while everyone started discussing and Cas’ tutoring professor announced his plans to organise an evening to discuss the pieces in university.

Cas gulped and looked back at Dean in shock, who only nodded happily and encouraged him.

 

“People want to write papers about this. Scientific papers and not just reviews. This is huge isn’t it?” Cas asked him when they were back home and about to go to bed.

“Yeah it is,” Dean grinned. “You’ll be discussed in the same room where you learned about Raphael and Matisse. You made it,” he beamed with utter pride.

“It’s one evening, and probably nobody’s gonna come anyway,” Cas tried to talk him down but Dean shook his head.

“It’s huge. There will be more,” he grinned suggestively.

“You’re not talking about art anymore, do you?” Cas asked and then gasped as Dean showed him what _else_ that was huge and wanted more.

 

The very next day, they had their rehearsal dinner and it was only one more day until they would get married.

The day was busy with everyone milling about the house, Bela especially was there all the time, confirming one very last time that it was all gonna work out while they had a make up artist there to already test the best hairstyles for her, Charlie and Sarah.

After everyone had found the perfect hair for them, Dean was next.

“She’s put freakin’ make up on me,” he said after he had escaped from the stylist who aptly named herself Xena.

“Yes, because you will look at your photos forever, dumbass. You don’t want to have your face go all blotchy from when you cry when Cas comes towards you,” Charlie said, her now short hair carefully curled so she looked like a beauty from the nickelodeon era.

“I’m not gonna cry,” Dean huffed, but when Cas came towards him, his hair actually laid carefully and make up on his face as well, he felt a stinging in his eyes already.

“You were saying?” Charlie smirked. “But hey, if it makes you feel better, we can also put braids on Sam and Gabe? But that might steal your show because everyone would laugh their asses off,” she contemplated before breaking out in snickers herself.

Dean gave a full-bodied laugh at that and Bela and Sarah, both with their hair done already, peeked into the kitchen about what was so funny.

They agreed that at least for the dinner today it wouldn't really matter and chased Sam all over the house while Gabe valiantly endured Xena frenchbraiding his hair. When it was done, he laughed the loudest and Sam was brought forth, with Sarah and Bela hanging on his arms and Charlie behind them so that he had no way to escape.

He looked miserable at having his hair brushed and everyone knew he would out the braids out as soon as he could but he let them be but into it.

“I bet you, he'll put those back in tonight,” Sarah chuckled when Sam’s hair had an extra wave as he plucked it back out of the braids as soon as Xena was done with him. “He says he doesn’t do anything with it, but it’s not true. He’s got more hair products than I do.”

Sam laughed so dirtily alongside everyone else that Dean’s mind was more at ease now that Sam could already stand being teased by everyone without falling apart.

 

When they got to the location of the rehearsal dinner though, an unpleasant surprise awaited them. Naomi was there and to her arm clung a person they thought they had successfully scared off. Metatron however, appeared not to be discouraged easily and what was more, he had brought some friends, or rather cronies, with him.

When they filed into the room and occupied the two tables laid out for closest family and friends, the unwanted guests took the still unoccupied tables which were reserved for Dean’s business partners (should anyone want to come by today already) and surveyed the room with sharp, piercing eyes.

“What are we gonna do about this?” Dean asked Cas and Sam next to him, so quietly that Naomi and Metatron himself, who were sitting next to him, wouldn’t hear it.

“I don’t get why he brought all these people. Does he think he needs an army or something?”

“Well after how we spoke to him last time, I guess he thinks so,” Cas frowned at his empty plate. “I think I know one of them,” he pondered and tapped Naomi onto her shoulder who turned around from Metatron smiling at her and saying something funny. The professors’ face fell when he looked at the three of them as if he took off a mask.

“Hey mom, what are all those people doing here?” Cas asked, nodding to the table with the unknown people all dressed in black and ignoring Metatron.

“Oh Curtis thought that they could come along, you know. Because your partners won’t come, most likely. And it would look bad if those tables stayed empty, wouldn’t it?”

“ ‘Curtis thought’,” Cas quoted her words back at her with raised eyebrows.

Naomi didn’t seem to understand yet, and turned back to Metatron who plastered his fake smile back onto his face immediately, letting everyone know that he had lured Naomi in with it.

“I know one of them though,” Sam said and pointed at a tall blond guy with a very prominent jawline. “I went to school with him. We were really close once.”

“Yes,” recognition dawned on Cas’ face. “His name’s Gadreel. He was a few years older and when we still went to church, we played together a few times. What has he got to do with Metatron though?”

“No idea, let’s find out,” Sam said and he and Cas went over to greet him, with Dean staying behind, beaming with pride at Cas and Sam teaming up in this and Sam apparently having gotten over his slight jealousy of Cas.

“Hello, Gadreel. I have not seen you in a long time,” Cas started and got a strained, a bit sarcastic smile back at his greeting.

“Hello Castiel,” Gadreel said with a voice that was too gentle for his set expression.

“You remember me too, don’t you?” Sam held out his hand. “Sam Winchester, we were lab partners the whole of 10th grade.”

“And practically inseparable too,” Gadreel finally smiled genuinely as he shook Sam’s hand.

“I think Dean remembers you too. I don’t remember,” Sam laughed. “What was it that he used to call you?”

“Zeke, short version of my middle name,” Gadreel laughed, remembering the good old school days.

“That’s Dean. Always giving anyone a nickname,” Cas smiled to himself, but even if this conversation was much more pleasant than he had anticipated, he now frowned again.

“But uh… I’m sorry to say this. You weren’t on the guest list. Why did Metatron tell you to come here?”

“He told us all that he had to attend a dinner and that he was concerned about some people who would come. People with violent tendencies apparently. He told us so at the literature circle he holds once and if we could do that session after this, otherwise he would have to cancel altogether and we had to do an extra session when we're already busy with courses again.”

“You’re students of Metatron?” Sam asked and Gadreel nodded solemnly. “Wow, that is a bit awkward. You do know that Metatron has no business here, right? And that it’s Dean’s and Cas’ rehearsal dinner tonight?”

“What?” Gadreel lost his composure for a minute, coming to terms with what he had just heard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude, none of us did. We thought we were doing Metatron a favour with this.”

“You did, but not in a good way. I’ll explain everything,” Sam took the lead to allow Cas to return to Dean now and have him deal with this.

“Of course you can stay here,” Cas nodded with a smile. “We have enough food anyway but perhaps you should let Sam explain what’s going on here, so that you don’t tackle my fiancé to the ground when he shoves Metatron out the door. Please excuse me now, I have to talk to my mother.”

Cas rejoined Dean and quietly told him what happened as Naomi stood up and announced the first course, a wedding soup she had specially thought of for tomorrow. Metatron was intently focused on her speech, applauding more than anyone else and in his haste to please, he didn’t notice Dean giving a sign to Charlie to put a whole lot of pepper into Metatron’s soup which was just arriving.

Charlie nodded and dumped about half the pepper into it while Metratron was still busy fawning over Naomi.

Everyone on the table tasted their soup now, one eye on Metatron who turned beetroot red as soon as he tasted his own improved dish.

“Is something the matter?” Naomi asked him when he fanned air at himself.

“Everything’s wonderful, my dear. It’s just a bit hot,” he complimented her and forced himself to finish his soup, not realising that everyone smirked into their plates when he ordered more and more water to get the ruined soup down.

He smiled when he had finished and excused himself for the toilet, which was just the opportunity that Cas had waited for. He hadn’t told his mother about what they had found out about Metatron before because he wanted to spare her this knowledge if it could be helped. Now that he was back and had lied to other people about his agenda here too, he _had_ to tell her about Metatron lying to get close to her and that she had fallen right into his trap.

“You realise of course that was exactly what nurse Masters warned you about even in your early days at the resort: ‘Curtis thought’, mom,” Cas said with an empathic nod. “What about the things that you think? Did you really think it was a good idea to bring people with you who have no business here?”

“Well, no. But…” Naomi seemed to question why she had even said that ‘but’, her head racing about all the things that Cas had just told her and that that was why Metatron had disappeared on the evening of the shop opening and now it seemed very strange that he came back with ‘reinforcements’.

She looked at Cas next to her, at her daughters and her stepsons, at Dean and Sam who just came back over from the other table. At Bobby and Crowley, sitting next to Charlie and Bela, all smiling and waiting until she had finished thinking.

“Let’s kick that bastard out,” she said acidly.

 

When Metatron came back from the toilet, he was again faced with a lot of people who didn’t look at him with a friendly eye and he retreated back to the people he had brought with him immediately.

His eyebrows lifted up as if to tell them: “That’s what I was talking about,” but Gadreel was the first to get up and take a stand next to Cas and Sam, crossing his arms and his jaw seemed set against Metatron now.

The other members of the literature circle, which were actually all sport students needing extra credits outside their own subject, moved over as well until Metatron was faced with his brilliant plan falling apart completely.

Hannah and Hester, usually calm but now furious, took the lead.

“Brilliant battle strategy,” they alluded to their profession. “But a bit ineffective since everyone already knows about your lies.”

“Naomi, could you tell your daughters not to speak to me like that?” Metatron bristled up but where he had hoped for support, he now saw the same fighting spirit as in her daughters’ eyes.

“I’ve had one man telling me to control the behaviour of my children around him, and he’s gone. As they say: 'he's in the jailhouse now'. And I swear, if it’s the last thing I’ll do, you’ll end there as well, you lying piece of shit.”

“No need. I already filed the evidence of his tax evasion and his other online activities to the authorities,” Charlie smirked. “One simple click on an email I had drafted _if_ you showed your butt ugly face again and now you’re history,” she smiled at him by raising the corners of her mouth a little and tilting her head friendly.

“Looks like you won’t be joining us for the second course,” Dean said moodily but to everyone's surprise he didn't try to kick Metatron's ass but sat back down, inviting all others to take their seats too, the seating order completely upturned as Gadreel took Metatron’s old seat and the others squeezed in-between the others too.

Metatron wanted to keep the rest of his dignity by storming out of the room, but to his blushing shame he had to use the toilet again because of all the water he had drunken to swallow the peppered soup and distinct signs of the irritable bowel syndrome showing as his stomach gurgled all the way to the toilet  and he didn't come back out for a long while. When he did, he ducked his head in shame and fled from the room, hopefully to the next drug store to find some pills for his condition.

 

The rest of the evening was much better after they had finally gotten rid of Metatron and everyone had a good time.

Naomi apologised a couple of times for her lack of judgement when it came to Metatron, but she recovered when everyone genuinely complimented her cooking and new recipes. A compliment is only well received if you know that it is just, and not falsely bestowed on a peppered soup, is what she wrote into her recovery journal right at the table before she put the journal away and continued her conversation with Gadreel about his parents and his sisters.

After desert, everyone started to leave and with a pang in both their guts, Dean and Cas realised that Charlie, Bela and Sarah were waiting for Cas as part of their bridesmaid’s and best woman’s duties to take him with them for the night.

“Can we not cut that tradition?” Dean asked as he pulled Cas into the bathroom for a private goodbye.

“I-” Cas wanted to start but then got too busy with kissing Dean as he was pressed against the stall of the toilet cubicle.

“Hmm, screw this. Let’s just go home now and do it,” Dean said, hooking Cas’ leg around his hips and pressed closer, grinding into him.

“Dean, I want this so much. But my suitcases are already packed and over at Charlie’s. If I go home with you now, I have nothing to wear in the morning.”

“Then just marry me naked, I don’t care,” Dean rasped and rubbed himself really hard now.

“Dean,” Cas moaned again, but stilled his movements when he got dangerously close to coming in his pants. “Tomorrow,” he said, the only thing he was still able to say.

“Ok baby,” Dean laid off him. “I’ll give you a minute’s head start,” Dean closed his eyes now, not wanting to see Cas leave him for the night.

“Soon,” Cas breathed at him and Dean felt his lips brushed one more time before the door opened and closed in his back.

 

Sam found him five minutes later, sitting in the corner of the bathroom.

“They’ve gone home,” he said, holding out his hand to pull his brother up. “Let’s get you home too and watch a Jet Li movie before bed.”

“No, not Jet Li. Chuck Norris,” Dean argued back immediately, Sam knew just how to get him to forget that the other side of the bed was gonna be empty tonight as they continued to argue about who could kick whose ass the entire way home and throughout the Chuck Norris movie that Dean picked.

Only when he got to bed, did he remember that he was gonna be spending the night alone and took out his phone, video calling Cas while Ben took advantage of all the free space to stretch himself as long as possible next to him.

“Hello Dean,” he heard once the connection established and he saw Cas surrounded by the girls.

“Gee, way to make a guy feel jealous with all those gorgeous women around you.”

“Which are all in a happy relationship, dumbass,” Bela rolled her eyes at him, having taken up the word from Charlie long ago.

Cas chuckled low in his throat as he climbed out of the bed he had been sitting in with them and found a quiet room to talk to Dean more.

“Do you realise that by this time tomorrow we’ll be married?” he asked with a wide smile.

“Dude, could you be any more cliché?” Dean asked, while at the same time a happy fire warmed him from the inside out.

“Bite me,” Cas grumbled, mock annoyed.

“Wish that I could,” Dean said seductively, but then put on his dom face again: “You didn’t open the suitcase with your honeymoon clothes, did you?”

“No, Daddy. I only packed my pretty things for you. I promise I didn’t look.”

“You’d better not. Don’t want you to ruin the surprise for you, do we?”

“No, you’d have to punish me for that,” Cas blushed and even on the small screen Dean could see his eyes darken which the plan to check out the clothes immediately.

“I mean it, baby boy. No peeking, or you’ll have a sexless honeymoon.”

“You wouldn’t,” Cas said completely scandalised and anxious.

“I just might,” Dean shrugged and dropped the act. “Are you excited?”

“More than anything,” Cas beamed.

“And will you be wearing white tomorrow?”

“I just might,” Cas teased him back before he wanted to say goodnight to Ben too, who ended the call with a meow and his paw pressing on the end call button.

“Thanks little thing,” Dean said to the kitten. “I wouldn’t have been able to end the call myself,” he felt the cat move next to him and curl himself together against his belly, so he could go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more day (and possibly chapter) to go in this fic. It turned out longer and more complex than I thought, but now finally it's the wedding day directly ahead.


	24. Chapter 24

Dean woke up turning around and wondering why his stomach was cold, while a few blocks uptown Cas woke up, wondering why his back was cold.

“Damn,” they both cursed, their inner clocks so in tune that they awoke at the exact same time even while not in the same bed, as they remembered where they were and what was gonna happen in a few hours.

 

Dean took Ben up from his position on Cas’ pillow and carried him down the stairs where Sam was already up, making coffee and pancakes.

“Since when are you all," Dean let his hand dart through the air. "Y'know, up and running at this time?” Dean asked as a greeting.

“Best man’s duties,” Sam grinned and showed him that he had already put food out for Ben too.

“And best pet sitter duties too, a day early,” Dean grinned at let the kitten tug into his breakfast. “I gotta warn you though, he’s used to sleeping in a bed. So you and Sarah have to make room for him while we’re gone. And don’t look at me like that. He’s a well-behaved little thing. He doesn’t come in when you’re, y’know… busy.”

“Gross, Dean. Let’s not talk about that. Like ever,” Sam scoffed but seemed relieved about it. “So, today is the big day. Nervous?” he asked when they sat down with one pancake each and Dean thought it would be a miracle if he could get even that one down without his stomach upturning.

“Big time,” he admitted and started eating, slowly and deliberately. “Can’t wait to have the whole official-like circus over with though,” he alluded to the business partner brunch before the actual party.

“Forget about that. It’s just about the two of you and it’s my job to make sure you get there in one piece.”

Sam waited until Dean had really finished his pancake, even if he had fed a few pieces to Ben when Sam wasn’t looking and then he was ordered around by his younger brother. He told him to get a shower, start to dress and Dean rolled his eyes very much when Sam asked him if he cleaned his teeth.

“Too much, bro. You’re the little brother, remember? People take care of _you_ , not the other way round.”

“Well, not today. Today I’m giving you back a little,” Sam clapped his back before he frowned: “You’re not forgetting to go to the toilet regularly, so you won’t have a full bladder later?”

Dean broke out into a hoarse laughter at that which bubbled up the entire morning even when Xena came over to dump make up on him again and then went on her way to help the girls and Cas to get ready, carrying Ben over in his basket.

 

When Ben and Xena arrived at Sam’s and Sarah’s apartment, the scene was similar to what had gone on back at home.

Ben was taken out of his basket by a very excited Cas who had been forced to eat some eggs and chew a piece of toast before Xena caked him in make up and then moved on to the more complicated hair dos of the girls.

“Hey there, Benny bums,” Cas smiled and cuddled the cat for a while. “Was Daddy ok when you left?”

The cat only answered with a purr at being groomed.

 

Two hours later, literally  _everyone_ was on their way it seemed, because they were all stuck in a traffic jam.

“Seriously, we’re gonna be late!” Dean wriggled around and nothing that Sam, Bobby or Benny said could calm him down.

“We’ve left an hour and a half early, ok. Calm down.”

“Who gets married in a freakin’ library anyway? A library that's so freakin' far away,” Dean muttered, checking Bobby’s watch every 5 seconds.

“Loads of people do, Dean,” Sam rolled his eyes. “And remember Cas going all mushy about it when we checked it out. He wanted the library and we’re all making sure you get there on time.”

“Right,” Dean inhaled deeply, thinking about how Cas’ face had lit up when they booked the public library. He liked the building anyway, it was perfect for this kind of thing.

“Do you even have the time to hear us do the whole 'I do' shtick before you get the investors over to the firm?” he asked Bobby, like he had done 5 times already since Crowley dropped him off so that he could calm his adopted son down. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and extracted his arm from Dean who wanted to check the time again.

“There is enough time for everything. And it’s not for you to worry about, son.”

“Right,” Dean said again, and thankfully the car moved so that they could park right in front of the library.

Dean’s party filed in immediately because he just wouldn’t be stopped and immediately saw Bela who was almost equally nervous as she greeted them with a happy smile.

“Good, one thing less to worry about,” she said and hugged Dean tight.

“What do you mean, one thing less? Is Cas alright?” Dean said, edged panic in his voice.

“Relax, Dean. Everything is fine. We’re ahead of schedule, is what I meant. And for the love of everything, stop sweating.”

She escorted him to a small room in which he could wait and pat himself dry before his suit was rumpled. Bela handed him a water bottle, but Sam objected.

“Not the thing with going to the toilet again, Sam,” Dean closed his eyes.

“That’s right, it’s just for making sure your mouth is not dry. Don’t drink it all,” Bela nodded and then rushed off because she still needed to check on everything that was being set up right now.

“Now we wait,” Sam said, standing watch and making sure his brother didn’t start to hyperventilate.

 

An hour later, Bela had successfully seated everyone, let Blondie and Bear take their stand to sing and play their instruments as soon as Cas was coming in and then she awaited them outside.

Cas seemed just as nervous as Dean when he got out, escorted by Sarah and Charlie, but Bela gave him a thumbs up before he even got in.

“Right, that’s everyone now,” she gave another thumbs up to Benny up the stairs who nodded and gave the same sign to slowly start the music now.

“Are we feeling alright?” she asked them all.

“Yes,” was the shaky answer as they moved up the stairs and heard the rustling of the guests who tired to get the first look at them.

“Sam made me ask and we still have a few minutes, soooo: Everyone fine about needing to go to the toilet?” Bela rolled her eyes at Sarah, who just shrugged about her boyfriend while Xena tugged at her curls over her left shoulder once more, laid a wave of Charlie’s hair new and put a pearl back securely into Bela’s updo.

“I’m fine,” Cas said breathlessly, as his hair was laid one last time with Naomi and Gabriel coming out to escort him down the aisle.

“Right then,” Bela said another five minutes later, giving the thumbs up sign once more and then Sarah started her walk.

She smiled at everyone who turned their heads, and even more so when her eyes found Sam, next to a shaken up looking Dean who actually hopped around, waiting for them all to file out until he could see Cas.

“It’s all fine,” she smiled and took her stand as they already saw Bela file in, wearing a gentle, reassuring smile.

She grinned excitedly once she took her place next to Sarah, but her attention was captured by Charlie as she swept down the aisle next.

She smirked at Dean and Sam who still looked a little nervous, but then her eyes found Bela as she walked towards her and didn’t let go of her until she took her place next to her.

“If anyone was in doubt about what will happen to those two, I think they’re not anymore,” Sam whispered into Dean’s ear who nodded without getting Sam’s full meaning because Bear and Blondie had just started their abridged version of ‘Love I found in you’ by Lady Antebellum and between Gabe and Naomi finally came Cas.

The world stopped once their eyes found each other; everyone gasped, not just because Cas looked particularly fancy in the suit he had in the end decided to wear, but because they could sense what a strong connection they had, even more so when Gabriel quietly said: “Slow down there, tiger. You’ll get there.”

Cas nodded without taking his eyes off Dean and stopped pulling at both of them to get to Dean faster.

Dean watched as Cas approached and Bela fumbled around in her purse because she always came prepared and handed out tissues for the entire wedding party. She was still drying Charlie’s eyes as Cas reached the head of the room, and took Dean’s hand.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas.”

They stood there and the whole room seemed to collectively miss a breath before they all sat down and the officiant opened his book.

While he spoke the traditional words of welcome to the assembled guests, Dean felt himself calm down, and Cas looked just perfectly happy and almost as if he was floating on air. They waited patiently while the officiant spoke until he told them to make their vows to each other.

The whole room turned their attention to Dean first as he started: “Cas, I have told you many times how much you mean to me. You’re my rock when things go bust, you’re the one I turn to when I feel good, when I feel bad, or when I need someone to make it all better. It makes me proud that you have decided that you want to share your life with me, and I promise to make sure that you get everything you deserve. Because I love you. You’re my whole world,” he ended his heart thumping rapidly and he was mentally shaking his own hand for getting that out without stuttering.

“Dean,” Cas started, tears glistening in his eyes. “You’re the dream I never thought I’d live. I am honoured that you chose me to be with. You gave me confidence and helped me grow. I love you and I will be there for you always. I wanted you in my life though I had not anticipated you would be the one to make be stop feeling lonely and complete me utterly. You’re my whole world,” he repeated Dean’s words back to him as a new ending to his own vow.

Dean had to reign himself in to wait to kiss him because right now there was nothing he wanted more; but both of them again waited patiently to say their: ’I do’, before their mouths met and Dean tilted Cas so that he lay in his arms to give him a proper Hollywood kiss before he put him back on his feet.

Afterwards, they all filed out of the library while Blondie and Bear played an instrumental version of ‘Ramble On’.

 

Dean and Cas sat in the limo in which Cas had come here, both grinning so wide that they hardly knew what to say, just nursing the happy bubbles inside of them as they looked down on their joint hands with two rings on them now.

They drove towards Singer-Winchester with a loud honking of horns behind them, but they just bathed in their togetherness before the brunch.

“Babe?” Dean asked when they could already see the building.

“Hmm?” Cas smiled.

“Why didn’t you wear the dress in the end?”

“Because we have a lot of walking and receiving to do now and I didn’t wanna have it ruined if someone should step on it,” Cas answered and quieted Dean’s doubt about not putting it on to not weird the more conservative partners out. Dean was glad that that wasn't the reason for Cas to keep his wedding dress a little more private, and it made it more special to have it just between the two of them.

The car reached the main entrance of the firm and Dean practically glowed when he took the first opportunity to say: “After you, Mr. Winchester.”

“Thank you, Mr. Winchester,” Cas smiled at him cheekily, but pulled him close when they awaited the guests. “We have a minute. Let’s make it another Mr. Winchester’s moment now, ok?”

Dean nodded without finding words and both of them stood there for a whole minute, just holding on to each other and thought of the people who could not be here today, before the first guests arrived and the brunch started.

 

“I can’t thank you enough for doing this,” Dean said to Cas once they got into the car once more and got onto the way to the actual party location.

“It’s no big deal,” Cas beamed, even though he had basically not done that much during the last two hours, he had only received envelope after envelope of doubtlessly generous checks while Dean’s and Bobby’s business partners all asked them the same questions. They wanted to know if Dean was gonna cut back at work now and what that would mean for the command structure. Most of them slunk off after hearing that Singer-Winchester would not be up for grabs or business mergers any time soon and the next person had come up to ask the very same question.

“No it is," Dean said now. "We could have done this a different way.”

“But it was more efficient this way. To get them all into one place and do a PSA. Really Dean, it hasn‘t made this day any less perfect. Though I would really enjoy some real food and to eat all our cakes with you.”

“Holy crap, yes!” Dean beamed and the reception started once they reached the same hall where their rehearsal dinner had taken place.

Both of them giggled like idiots when they heard Bear on stage announce for everyone to welcome the newly weds, Mr. and Mr. Winchester.

“Calm down,” Dean said to both of them, both still cracking up as he took Cas’ arm and everyone applauded them when they moved into the hall.

They saw the faces of all their loved ones turned towards them and the moment couldn’t have been more perfect.

Dean asked himself why he didn’t mind to be the center of attention, but then it dawned on him that it made him happy to have this. It wasn’t about showing off, it was for everyone partaking in their happiness and that made the special focus of everyone alright to him.

Cas just seemed like he was walking on air the entire time they walked in and then throughout the entire meal.

The happy bubble in which they moved only seemed to pop when Bear and Blondie told them that it was time for their first dance as a married couple.

“Seriously, baby? You can do everything, but when it comes to dancing in front of everyone you freak out?” he asked while Bear sang ‘The Wonder of you’ by Elvis into their ears.

“Just don’t let me fall,” Cas whispered and let Dean take the lead. After a minute of swaying, he was comfortable enough to snicker: “If I had worn the dress now, nobody would see my feet at least.”

“You’re doing great,” Dean said and kissed Cas without leaving any room for objection.

When they came back up for air, the song was long over and people tapped onto their shoulders to get dances.

“Well done, Winchester,” Charlie grinned up at Dean just as Cas hugged Naomi with an audible sob before they started spinning.

Dean smiled so much throughout the rest of the day that his face seemed to be stuck that way, applauding loudly when Cas threw his origami bouquet and Charlie grinned even more as she caught it.

And finally, they cut the cake. Or rather cakes in plural. Dean scrunched his face a bit when they had to stab into the batman symbol and cut into the shield but when they had a plate of it in front of themselves and Cas fed him pieces of every one, he was happy again.

“Those are damn good cakes,” Gabriel’s eyes almost plopped when they looked at him across the table. “Where did you get them?”

“No, Gabe. No talking shop anymore today,” Cas raised his voice in exasperation before he laughed again. “I’ll get you their number when we’re back.”

“Dean still hasn’t told you where you’re going, right?”

“He hasn’t,” Cas frowned at Dean who munched his batman cake without seeming to notice anything.

But he smirked once they were in the car once more and Cas asked him again while everyone waved them off.

“So, where are we going?”

“New Jersey,” Dean said as if he was giving him the biggest present from the top of the pile.

Cas was shocked into silence for a while, before he put a smile back onto his face. “That’s perfect,” he seemed genuinely happy even though he might have expected something a little different.

“Cap 2?”

“Yes, Dean. I get the reference,” he smiled as they moved through the traffic.

“I told you you would get them all one day, and that day has come. But I only booked us into a hotel out there for a week. After that, we fly to Europe. I thought about Ireland, England, France and then Italy.”

“Wow,” Cas ripped his eyes open and Dean beamed about his little act which inevitably made the surprise even greater.

“Yes, we talked about wanted to go there and so I thought, why not? And because of that, I didn‘t tell you what kind of clothes you should pack because I don‘t know what weather we‘ll have there.”

“Very clever. And I bet the week in Jersey is for us to completely wipe ourselves out before the big trip?”

“Yep, exactly. Which isn’t to say that I won’t enjoy peeling you out of you underwear after we walked the Champs-Élysées. But it would be much nicer if we didn’t just see the inside of hotel rooms over there, right?”

“Absolutely,” Cas agreed as they held outside of the Four Seasons and he looked up, a little confused.

“We’re not going to the country right now?”

“No, because I don’t want to make either of us wait any longer to be alone together. We’re going tomorrow.”

“You thought of everything,” Cas praised as they got out of the car once more and the concierge received their luggage from the driver.

While checking in and taking the elevator up to their suite everything was fine, but when they opened the door and saw everything covered in rose petals they both started a bit.

“Sorry. The flowers,” Dean started and wanted to put the petals away, but Cas held on to his arm to stop him.

“It’s fine, Dean. It’s really nice actually,” he pulled Dean close and then he saw something very distracting and unexpected.

Cas turned his head away and genuinely blushed for the first time since they met each other.

“I’m really nervous somehow,” Cas admitted, meeting Dean’s eyes for a second before he let go and picked up a white bag with his dress in it before he disappeared into the bathroom, still blushing scarlet.

Dean waited for him to come back out, readied the bed and got a bit more comfortable.

He was down to his shirt and pants when he heard the door to the main room open again and Cas came out, almost shy again in his long, sleek dress and still wearing his blush.

Dean didn’t say a word as he walked over and lightly let his hands glide around Cas’ elbows, tightening as he drew him in.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” he said and Cas blushed even more although he moved against Dean languidly.

“This feels like the first time,” he whispered.

“That’s because it is. If it helps you, I feel like a virgin too.”

Cas chuckled nervously but raised his hands, holding onto Dean now.

“It does,” he said simply and finally met Dean’s eyes.

Slowly and deliberately, they moved their mouths towards each other, both gasping out loud when they met after what felt like a small eternity.

Cas felt as if it was the first kiss of his life, and Dean thought that if he would not know Cas completley, he would htink that Cas was putting on one of his usual sexy acts right now, but he knew that Cas really was nervous about this first time. Needless to say, Dean was just as nervous as Cas. He couldn’t even bring himself to undress him before he had pulled off every bit of his own clothes. He pressed himself against Cas once he was naked, careful not to soil his dress as he lapped into his mouth, both hands on the sides of his neck, before he moved lower, tickling his neck with his tongue.

Then he moved around to Cas’ back, carefully undoing the clasps in his back until Cas could step out of the dress and Dean hanged it back up.

“It’s a bit ridiculous,” Cas smiled shyly. “I just put it on to have you get me out of it again.”

“Does it make you feel ridiculous?” Dean asked, moving in close and not coming Cas’ corset, garter belt and stockings, all white like he had worn it when he had first put on a dress in Dean's presence.

“No, it’s so good that it is also way too much,” he answered.

“Do you want to get out of those things?”

“No, I would like to keep them on,” Cas answered, moving over to the bed, Dean’s hands still around his torso.

Before Cas pulled them both down, he turned around and kept eye contact even as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Please let me suck you. It would make me feel more like this is actually real.”

“You need me to tell you that you’re really here and this isn't a dream?” Dean asked when his cock was in Cas’ throat. “Or is this more about feeling me that makes it real for you?” he asked, carding through Cas’ hair as he blew him.

Cas looked up at him, moving and swirling as he nodded, and Dean closed his eyes as he moaned because of the perfect suction around him.

“Ready for more?” he asked when Cas slowed after a bit, more licking than sucking.

“Yes,” he said once his mouth was unoccupied again, his arms reaching and trailing up Dean’s body while he took his time to get down and slide into position between Cas’ legs.

“You’re already open for me,” Dean found with immense pleasure, but still thrusted his fingers into Cas, lubing everything as he pulled him apart digit by digit.

“You’re good now?” he asked, nuzzling his husband’s head while he pushed into him with two fingers.

“Better than good,” Cas answered, exposing his chest by pulling the corset down a bit and Dean felt himself twitch as Cas pinched his own nipples.

Dean lowered his head, lightly biting Cas’ tweaking fingers and then sucking three of them into his mouth with loud groans as he still stimulated Cas' rim with his own fingers.

“You ready?” he asked when he had suckled and thrusted enough to make them both desperate.

“Yes,” Cas said, biting his lips and hooking his legs up over Dean’s hips.

Dean looked between them, teasing his cock through Cas’ slick crack before he dipped the tip in and slowly pushed deeper.

“How’s it feel?”

“Perfect.”

“Then why are you crying?” Dean asked with a whisper as he bottomed out and flicked two tears from Cas’ face.

“For the same reason,” Cas answered and sniffled adorably, holding on as Dean started moving.

Still they took their time to work up to the climax, the sex more about the new thing called marriage between them which actually still had the power to bring them closer.

“Dean, I wanna come,” Cas panted, his stockinged feet thrumming onto Dean as he was fucked.

“Yeah, me too,” Dean panted, and thrusted slower but also harder, carrying both of them over the edge for the first time in their new situation in life.

They lay there, panting out their orgasm, assuring each other with little smiles and touches that it was still all the same between them, while at the same time feeling like their relationship had transcended into something new and exciting they had yet to explore together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't know how to say bye after a long journey like this, guess I've gotten a bit affected by all the wedding stuff here so bear with an overly affectionate endnote. ;)
> 
> I'd like to thank everyone who commented and actually everyone who reads this. Thank you so much for being a frankly awesome readership.
> 
> And to quiet anyone's possible doubts: This is not the end, but barely the beginning of these two.
> 
> I'll pick this up exactly where I left it, but I have a few other things to write before I carry on with this and I will upload a bottom!Dean timestamp sometime soon because there is simply no way that Cas is not having his husband on their wedding night. It will be part of the additional timestamps verse, so keep a look out for that if you're not averse to bottom!Dean. (I know I usually am unless they're as close as here in this fic and then I can actually get behind him on the receiving end from time to time.) There won't be any plot to miss in it, so I'm cool if you're not reading it. It's something for my own personal sense of completion for the wedding night.
> 
> Otherwise: Stay awesome, don't accept compliments over peppered soups and be safe. I'll see y'all on the honeymoon fic. ;)
> 
> The timestamp is here [AuSP Wedding Night Timestamp](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4869038)


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